(the following are but my own humble opinion, I may be wrong)
What does this day mean to you?
In my own opinion and going in terms of descending number of people:
Public Holiday
Post-party
Party
Spending time with family and friends
Exchanging presents
Fun
Year End break
Love
Love of God
Reflection of the year’s events and getting right with God
It is the one of the few public holidays that almost everyone celebrates (after New Year I guess). Not everyone celebrates Deepavali or Chinese New Year.
What comes to your mind straightaway when I mention Christmas? It actually reflects what is in your heart. Shall elaborate on this awhile later…
Jesus
Cross
Church
Christmas tree
Santa
Snow
Presents
Party
Red, Green
Fun, Laughter
Love, Joy, Peace
Booze, Fights, Drunkenness, Smoke
Walked down Orchard Road (my usual habit) the other day and took photos of the brightly lit roads and buildings. Saw many performances and took lots of videos. Yet, as I was walking down, past countless people, amid all the holiday mood, I felt less of the holiday mood than previous years. Well, you could say its cos of the final exams. That could be a contributing factor, but there’s something inside me that felt the emptiness in the air, the facades behind the faces of people… Loom and gloom of the current financial climate? Could be, but yet there is more.
Walked down and was shoved, pushed and squeezed. Was reminded of how I spent Christmas few years ago, when I was still in my college days. That was worse. Walked down Orchard road to join in the countdown party – all the sweat, the foam sprays, the sprays that will spray out coloured streamers etc etc waiting for the so called count down and walking in a formation through the crowd that would prevent the ladies from being groped. At the end of it, coloured streamers everywhere, drunkards, beer bottles, anger and frustration on the faces of people who did not liked being sprayed at and intending to take revenge, fights, litter… etc… all along Orchard Road. Didn’t like it at all. Is this your idea of Christmas???
To me this day is a day of love, joy and peace. Not ugliness of Man. Full of holiness and purity. Not happiness at the expense of others.
As I walked down, I saw the big picture. If you were looking from atop, don’t we simply resemble a colony of ants surrounding a piece of sweet? Even the ants do not fight themselves, do not push and shove others, do not get angry or take revenge. They live – only to contribute to their entire race. So are we worse than ants? And what would God think? Would He be happy that we’re in such a state or would He be crying everyday, every Christmas, lamenting at our behaviour.
As I mentioned earlier, the small things – little thoughts, little actions – all reflect who or how you are. No point looking at the big things. Doesn’t tell much… But then again, different people have different values and so this probably doesn’t bother anyone else. My point being, do we spend time to reflect upon ourselves?
As we celebrate Christmas, do we know the true meaning of Christmas. Sometimes, I am saddened, saddened by the little things. This holiday to me is symbolic of the greatest gift God has given to mankind. The greatest present. So the way we treat this day, our attitude towards it, really saddens me sometimes.
Many of us, conveniently or refuse to acknowledge Christ when we celebrate on this day. Worse is when its all about getting drunk and fighting. Merry CHRISTmas has turned to Merry X mas. Christ is replaced by a mere X on this day. the focus is on the Merry and the X. “X” meaning you can do whatever you want, as long it makes you merry. IS THIS THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS? So it has become a mathematical equation. X = eating shopping enjoyment fighting etc, MINUS Christ.
Everyone has their own meaning of Christmas. The above is mine. What is yours? I really hope its not all about fights, anger and frustration… How are you feeling this Christmas? I hope its not all emptiness and gloom. I hope that everyone has a joyful, peaceful, lovely Christmas.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Chinese Drama Production "Life No Take 2"
For details, contact me! :P The following synopsis is taken from www.cscc.org.sg.
Story Outline
Upon invitation, a famous director is flying back to Singapore from the United States to direct a large scale drama performance Blood Offering, which tells the story of the suffering of Jesus Christ. The lead female actress is a well-known star. Unknown to the public, this enviable pair is actually undergoing divorce proceedings. A once famous singer involved in the drama is battling depression, thus affecting her performance. The director is considering to remove her role. A hardworking and positive young actor is haunted by his past of being an abandoned baby. A cheerful and helpful man fails to reciprocate his wifes care and concern. His neglect caused her to have an asthma attack during one of the rehearsals. A rising newbie is proud and stubborn, having constant arguments with the director. In the midst of preparing for the impactful life-changing drama Blood Offering, changes in the actors lives are also unfolding
编剧：彭毅
故 事梗概： 知名导演李豪受邀从美国飞回新加坡，
人 物
李豪：男。44岁。知名导演。
思灵：女。36岁。知名艺人。
恩赐：男。21 岁。初级学院学生。
惠芸：女。46岁。80年代当红歌星。
庆生：男。40岁。舞台剧监制。
雅丽：女。33岁。家庭主妇。
华杰：男。22岁。新晋艺人。
Monday, December 08, 2008
Brrr... Random Brrr Thoughts
Weather these few days has been weird. And my nose's dripping like mad. having malaise and aches everywhere. So glad its a long weekend for me to recover... am wearing my windbreaker even though i dun have aircon la!
But just a few days ago i was sweating away... virus go away! so i can enjoy this cool weather!!!
brrr... its the time of year again...
brrr... how seasons come and go, ever so regular, ever so punctual.
brrr... a snowy snowy Christmas... when you don't have it, you long for one, when you have it, you're troubled by it... how paradoxical Man is...
It just boils down to the notion that one is never satisfied. Man wants the best of everything. Man is never satisfied. Even when we appear to be satisfied, there are fine prints associated with it. Things like "I'd enjoy this weather if only the virus is gone"
But really, Man should be satisfied.
I should be satisfied...
Smile, cos the cold weather is here again!
But just a few days ago i was sweating away... virus go away! so i can enjoy this cool weather!!!
brrr... its the time of year again...
brrr... how seasons come and go, ever so regular, ever so punctual.
brrr... a snowy snowy Christmas... when you don't have it, you long for one, when you have it, you're troubled by it... how paradoxical Man is...
It just boils down to the notion that one is never satisfied. Man wants the best of everything. Man is never satisfied. Even when we appear to be satisfied, there are fine prints associated with it. Things like "I'd enjoy this weather if only the virus is gone"
But really, Man should be satisfied.
I should be satisfied...
Smile, cos the cold weather is here again!
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Life and DEATH
Life, how sacred art thou. How amazing and wonderful you are.
Life, how fragile art thou. How uncertain and sudden you move.
God, how great art thou. How magnificent and majestic You are, to create life.
God, how holy art thou. How broken and unprepared am I, to meet You.
Life, we all know as wonderful as it is, comes and goes without us knowing. Some may have warnings or prodromes, like previous stroke or heart attack or cancer; yet some may not even have the slightest idea. Any one of us can drop dead the next moment. Each day is a mercy from God.
The question we have to ask ourselves everyday is, are you ready to meet God at this moment?
I am not.
The next question: when will you ever be ready? Don't you want to start getting yourself ready for that day, no matter when it comes? Why are you still delaying it?
It is very much like a spring test. We've had lots of that in secondary school. We know that a test will be coming, only we don't know when. So we try our best to prepare and learn, so that we will be prepared when the test comes. I don't know about you, but most Singaporeans, being Kiasu, will start preparing for it, so that they will not be caught unawares.
If we can do this for a spring test, then why aren't we doing it for something that determines our eternity?
Yes, we as humans are given 5 senses. So as long as something we do not look feel see hear taste, we are less likely to treat it seriously. Which is why we treat a spring test with more respect than our eternity. We lose our reasoning and perseverance once we do not see it immediately.
Yet we know that God has given us so many things to look feel see hear and taste Him. Why do we still deny Him? Why are we still not heeding His Word?
"Yes, save it for later, after i finish my exams / my meeting / my project etc etc" Hmmm are you really so sure you can finish your project before you die? The lady who went to Mumbai was quite confident she could come back after she gave her talk. She had even made plans for children. She thought life would just go on as it is, circling around her, until she's fed up of this life then she'd say bye. (Forgive me for these presumptous statements. But you get the idea... don't you?) Many of us live life like that; ME INCLUDED. It is like having no concrete plans to study for your exams. You do not plan what you are to cover this week, so that you can finally finish the whole syllabus, but read whatever you like, thinking that the exam will not come so fast...
With the end in mind, THEN you will be able to live life to the fullest.
For me, if i've never figured out life and death issues, Maker issues, i'd never be able to live my life to the fullest. Things like your job, your outlook, future plans, your relationships including boyfren or girlfren, spouse etc etc all cannot be settled or planned if we never figured out who God is or is there really a god (for atheists) etc etc... I don't think that it's a waste of time / fairytale to find out more about your eternity. Cos my outlook and the things i do will really be different.
Scenario A (if i'm an atheist, there is no eternity): i'd just do things that will make me "happy". If i like this gal i'd go for her, no matter whether its the perfect match. Just as long as I AM HAPPY. When I'm not happy anymore, well, just break up and find another. I AM HAPPY. "I"
Scenario B (if i'm not an atheist, of certain religion): I might not do things that will make me happy, OR the reason I am happy changes. I am now happy when i see things "right" etc etc.
So it really depends. So I think one need to sort that out first, before one can progress further.
The next question: are you sure u'd face your Maker as who you this He / She is after you die?
I am quite sure I'd face God and nothing else on the final day. Just that I am still not prepared for it.
Yet another question: You may be starting off well, being very enthusiastic in your quest for knowledge (or living, in this context), but are you sure that enthusiasm will sustain? Will you suddenly become burnt out just before the exam and in the end you do not end well?
Are you prepared for THAT DAY? Why not? Start now!
DO YOU NEED TO WAIT TILL SECONDS BEFORE YOUR HEART ATTACK?!? OR START TO REGRET WHEN THE GRENADE ROLLS IN FRONT OF YOU?
Perhaps this post sounds weird, but i think it is very practical! Just my personal reflection of recent happenings, what God's speaking to me and the finality of things...
Life, how fragile art thou. How uncertain and sudden you move.
God, how great art thou. How magnificent and majestic You are, to create life.
God, how holy art thou. How broken and unprepared am I, to meet You.
Life, we all know as wonderful as it is, comes and goes without us knowing. Some may have warnings or prodromes, like previous stroke or heart attack or cancer; yet some may not even have the slightest idea. Any one of us can drop dead the next moment. Each day is a mercy from God.
The question we have to ask ourselves everyday is, are you ready to meet God at this moment?
I am not.
The next question: when will you ever be ready? Don't you want to start getting yourself ready for that day, no matter when it comes? Why are you still delaying it?
It is very much like a spring test. We've had lots of that in secondary school. We know that a test will be coming, only we don't know when. So we try our best to prepare and learn, so that we will be prepared when the test comes. I don't know about you, but most Singaporeans, being Kiasu, will start preparing for it, so that they will not be caught unawares.
If we can do this for a spring test, then why aren't we doing it for something that determines our eternity?
Yes, we as humans are given 5 senses. So as long as something we do not look feel see hear taste, we are less likely to treat it seriously. Which is why we treat a spring test with more respect than our eternity. We lose our reasoning and perseverance once we do not see it immediately.
Yet we know that God has given us so many things to look feel see hear and taste Him. Why do we still deny Him? Why are we still not heeding His Word?
"Yes, save it for later, after i finish my exams / my meeting / my project etc etc" Hmmm are you really so sure you can finish your project before you die? The lady who went to Mumbai was quite confident she could come back after she gave her talk. She had even made plans for children. She thought life would just go on as it is, circling around her, until she's fed up of this life then she'd say bye. (Forgive me for these presumptous statements. But you get the idea... don't you?) Many of us live life like that; ME INCLUDED. It is like having no concrete plans to study for your exams. You do not plan what you are to cover this week, so that you can finally finish the whole syllabus, but read whatever you like, thinking that the exam will not come so fast...
With the end in mind, THEN you will be able to live life to the fullest.
For me, if i've never figured out life and death issues, Maker issues, i'd never be able to live my life to the fullest. Things like your job, your outlook, future plans, your relationships including boyfren or girlfren, spouse etc etc all cannot be settled or planned if we never figured out who God is or is there really a god (for atheists) etc etc... I don't think that it's a waste of time / fairytale to find out more about your eternity. Cos my outlook and the things i do will really be different.
Scenario A (if i'm an atheist, there is no eternity): i'd just do things that will make me "happy". If i like this gal i'd go for her, no matter whether its the perfect match. Just as long as I AM HAPPY. When I'm not happy anymore, well, just break up and find another. I AM HAPPY. "I"
Scenario B (if i'm not an atheist, of certain religion): I might not do things that will make me happy, OR the reason I am happy changes. I am now happy when i see things "right" etc etc.
So it really depends. So I think one need to sort that out first, before one can progress further.
The next question: are you sure u'd face your Maker as who you this He / She is after you die?
I am quite sure I'd face God and nothing else on the final day. Just that I am still not prepared for it.
Yet another question: You may be starting off well, being very enthusiastic in your quest for knowledge (or living, in this context), but are you sure that enthusiasm will sustain? Will you suddenly become burnt out just before the exam and in the end you do not end well?
Are you prepared for THAT DAY? Why not? Start now!
DO YOU NEED TO WAIT TILL SECONDS BEFORE YOUR HEART ATTACK?!? OR START TO REGRET WHEN THE GRENADE ROLLS IN FRONT OF YOU?
Perhaps this post sounds weird, but i think it is very practical! Just my personal reflection of recent happenings, what God's speaking to me and the finality of things...
Sunday, November 30, 2008
My nephew... so CUTE!
I can't help but post this KISS KISS POOH POOH erhm well that is really his idea of KISS.
Heh SATISFACTION
And this video. He's already learnt this new skill... so be careful if u invite him to ur birthday party, u'd have fun...
Heh SATISFACTION
And this video. He's already learnt this new skill... so be careful if u invite him to ur birthday party, u'd have fun...Tuesday, November 18, 2008
HOW, WHO, WOH?
How nice would it be if one could stop time now.
How wonderful would it be if i could stay as sharp, if not sharper than before.
How good things would be if things are less regimental.
How perfect would it be if i am not sucked by the seemingly endless work and deviate from Him.
HOW.
Yet we forget that each day, every second, no matter how little (or "not enough") it may seem, is a mercy from the all-Loving One.
AND its really weird how each of us waste these precious seconds unknowingly, only to regret much later.
HOW...
STUCK seems to be the word that is jarringly sticking out now.
HOW... ...
And yes, God is definitely training me how to be not ashamed to ask for help, how to learn to trust Him and rely on Him.
HOW?
How wonderful would it be if i could stay as sharp, if not sharper than before.
How good things would be if things are less regimental.
How perfect would it be if i am not sucked by the seemingly endless work and deviate from Him.
HOW.
Yet we forget that each day, every second, no matter how little (or "not enough") it may seem, is a mercy from the all-Loving One.
AND its really weird how each of us waste these precious seconds unknowingly, only to regret much later.
HOW...
STUCK seems to be the word that is jarringly sticking out now.
HOW... ...
And yes, God is definitely training me how to be not ashamed to ask for help, how to learn to trust Him and rely on Him.
HOW?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Nibbles of Thoughts - On 13 Nov
Shall blog now. Cos I'm really very sian in this lecture. It is all about trials and so on... Got so many things to remember, still can remember all the nicely named trials? Am really glad I have my PDA with me.
Today I saw how an old parent cried for his middle aged son. The old Chinese saying of "white haired person sending off black haired person" Am really not sure how to react to these scenarios. I trust in the power of God. I know He can do miracles. Yet in such situations, should I pray for alleviation of suffering, salvation or healing? Of Course, salvation is key, yet I'm really lost. But guess will just trust the Holy Spirit to guide the prayer in such circumstances. Perhaps should ask my cell leader about it...
What a change in dynamics, guess when people are attached, they behave differently. Ha Really zhong se qing you. But I guess its all natural
But I guess it needs practice to be always aware of God's presence. Cos we're all self centred, always going back into our comfort zone, back to our old habits. Its like teaching the old dog new tricks. Whateva
Today I saw how an old parent cried for his middle aged son. The old Chinese saying of "white haired person sending off black haired person" Am really not sure how to react to these scenarios. I trust in the power of God. I know He can do miracles. Yet in such situations, should I pray for alleviation of suffering, salvation or healing? Of Course, salvation is key, yet I'm really lost. But guess will just trust the Holy Spirit to guide the prayer in such circumstances. Perhaps should ask my cell leader about it...
What a change in dynamics, guess when people are attached, they behave differently. Ha Really zhong se qing you. But I guess its all natural
But I guess it needs practice to be always aware of God's presence. Cos we're all self centred, always going back into our comfort zone, back to our old habits. Its like teaching the old dog new tricks. Whateva
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Omnipresence
Yes, I must say I am not the free-est person around, but I just realised something that did not occur to me and just felt like writing something about it.
It is a whole new paradigm shift. Well, no. I knew of this before, yet i think either i conveniently ignored it or that it didn't hit home.
I have never experienced this, but I am beginning to. Made me realise how I have treated Him as any other person, going to Him only when I need Him or when I think I need to talk to Him. Yet, He is omnipresent. And yet many of us just shut Him out of our doors when we're going about our daily business and opening our doors to Him when we feel like it or we feel we're ready. Yet He is not some isolated person but He is always there.
Omnipresence is the keyword.
It is a whole new paradigm shift. Well, no. I knew of this before, yet i think either i conveniently ignored it or that it didn't hit home.
I have never experienced this, but I am beginning to. Made me realise how I have treated Him as any other person, going to Him only when I need Him or when I think I need to talk to Him. Yet, He is omnipresent. And yet many of us just shut Him out of our doors when we're going about our daily business and opening our doors to Him when we feel like it or we feel we're ready. Yet He is not some isolated person but He is always there.
Omnipresence is the keyword.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
ANNOUNCEMENT - SONGS OF WORSHIP SUB-BLOG HAS BEEN SET UP
Ha it seems that all the youtubes of songs are getting abit irritating for viewers. Cos they'd have to scroll a long time before they get to the next post!
SO I'VE MOVED ALL THE SONGS TO A NEW SUB-BLOG AT: SONGS OF WORSHIP
SO IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THOSE SONGS, PLEASE CLICK "SONGS OF WORSHIP" LINK ON THE SIDEBAR!
THATS ALL FOLKS!
SO I'VE MOVED ALL THE SONGS TO A NEW SUB-BLOG AT: SONGS OF WORSHIP
SO IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THOSE SONGS, PLEASE CLICK "SONGS OF WORSHIP" LINK ON THE SIDEBAR!
THATS ALL FOLKS!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Encouraged
In my boredom amid those Tetralogy of Fallot and incomprehensible short forms of my notes, i browsed youtube and came across this video. About a Muslim who converted to Christianity. Hmmm was very touched and encouraged by his testimony. Nope, not trying to spark any controversy on my homepage but yups, just wanna share this video. I am reminded once again of His love. How great His love is.
Not everyone will have such a striking and supernatural testimony. Everyone has different experiences. But once again I am reminded of the magnitude of His Love. I think that's the main thing about Christianity - Love.
Many has thought that if God is really loving, then everyone would be in heaven. And if it isn't then the love is limited... Well, that's not true. The classic example is satan. God is all-loving, wants everyone to be in heaven with Him. Yet, it really depends on the individual whether he / she wants to be with God. Satan didn't want. He wanted to be his own god. God's love was rejected. So likewise for us, you can only be in heaven if you choose to. You choose to be in His Love or rejecting His Love. God didn't create hell, yet when you reject heaven and God, there is no other place for you to be in, except a place which lacks heaven, devoid of God. And in this place, since it is devoid of God's presence, nothing can be sustained, there is death.
well, yups... here's the video, hope whoever watches it will be as blessed as i am!
Part 1
Part 2
:P
Not everyone will have such a striking and supernatural testimony. Everyone has different experiences. But once again I am reminded of the magnitude of His Love. I think that's the main thing about Christianity - Love.
Many has thought that if God is really loving, then everyone would be in heaven. And if it isn't then the love is limited... Well, that's not true. The classic example is satan. God is all-loving, wants everyone to be in heaven with Him. Yet, it really depends on the individual whether he / she wants to be with God. Satan didn't want. He wanted to be his own god. God's love was rejected. So likewise for us, you can only be in heaven if you choose to. You choose to be in His Love or rejecting His Love. God didn't create hell, yet when you reject heaven and God, there is no other place for you to be in, except a place which lacks heaven, devoid of God. And in this place, since it is devoid of God's presence, nothing can be sustained, there is death.
well, yups... here's the video, hope whoever watches it will be as blessed as i am!
Part 1
Part 2
:P
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Interesting Day, but seriously...
I need to study! Ha well yups, after wasting the whole day, i guess i must do better tomorrow. Went for rehearsals in the morning, had lunch, then rushed back to NTUC-ing and prepare dinner... cos ...
MY BROTHER's BIRTHDAY.
Ha sorry dudes who wanted to eat this, I can only cook one big meal like once during these 2 weeks... so ha just providing some Photographs. Just treat it as if u've eaten them la!
Ha making dinner from simple ingredients.. Guess i can only do that! Me not so atas (ie high class)! Really marvelled when i saw the 2 brothers on newspaper last time - they had their own professional kitchen at home and they cook for others using the most exotic (and of course, expensive) ingredients. Eg They know how to prepare foie gras! Oh man haha think i'd never reach that standard. But yups, simple pleasures from simple things! Me just a simple man! ha
Drink - Sparkling lemon grass white grape juice. my own concoction! ha used lemon grass as straw!
Salad - Usual salad veg + hawthorn dressing (ha its those mix in water drink) + almond bits + apricot bits - sweet and tasty. Healthier than that mayonnaise or thousand island (eat already must run on thousand islands!)
Starter - haha no photos cos i forgot all about it until i started eating the crab. But yeah its steamed egg (like Jap chawanmushi - er my spelling wrong) mixed w tofu, mushroom and jin1 zhen1 (canto thingy i guess)
Main course - watercress and rice
Main course - Grilled pork ribs! (ha i love it! so nice! Esp after u add some herbs... and it tastes so sweet, slightly sour and slightly spicy.... hahahaha shhh the marinade is trade secret... ha just some random mix from whatever condiments i can find at home)
Main course - CHILLI CRAB
Without the sauce
(ha note that the leg numbers aren't quite in proportion compared to the shell that's cos the person sold us ALL THREE CRABS with only ONE PINCER EACH!!!! They deliberately cut it off! Wert... And we only realised it when we got home. So my dad went to ask about it (actually to complain la haha), but was retorted with the comment: for those crabs with TWO PINCERS it is sold at 20+/kg compared to the current 10+/kg. We were like !?!?!?! So i guess they sell the pincer off to the restaurants who'd make things like crab meat sharksfin... But still, having a "Yang Guo" crabby sounds crappy cos it simply means a few days ago they cut the pincer off and so its not the freshest crab!)
BUT OH WELLS, it turned out that the crab was absolutely fantastic... the meat was succulent and really alot... compared to the past crabs i made, which were smaller, more difficult to eat the crab and abit more "fen3 fen3" ie powdery. Only gripe: one of us didn't get to eat the pincer! NO PINCER GRIP!!!
With the sauce / gravy, whichever u like to call it. (photo not well taken though!)
Finally, the dessert. ha no, not at all sinful.. very light and healthy! All made of fruits! Konnyaku jelly w orange sorbet and grapes and strawberry!
So the whole spread looks something like this:
So healthy rite... the meal doesn't look too oily or fatty. (other than the cholesterol in crab but i made it up with the salad, watercress and fruitty dessert!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER! MUHAHAHA! Think he enjoyed the meal. Well, he better have enjoyed it, or else.... ... ...
TIME TO MUG! oops... its wednesday already! :(
MY BROTHER's BIRTHDAY.
Ha sorry dudes who wanted to eat this, I can only cook one big meal like once during these 2 weeks... so ha just providing some Photographs. Just treat it as if u've eaten them la!
Ha making dinner from simple ingredients.. Guess i can only do that! Me not so atas (ie high class)! Really marvelled when i saw the 2 brothers on newspaper last time - they had their own professional kitchen at home and they cook for others using the most exotic (and of course, expensive) ingredients. Eg They know how to prepare foie gras! Oh man haha think i'd never reach that standard. But yups, simple pleasures from simple things! Me just a simple man! ha
Drink - Sparkling lemon grass white grape juice. my own concoction! ha used lemon grass as straw!
Salad - Usual salad veg + hawthorn dressing (ha its those mix in water drink) + almond bits + apricot bits - sweet and tasty. Healthier than that mayonnaise or thousand island (eat already must run on thousand islands!)
Starter - haha no photos cos i forgot all about it until i started eating the crab. But yeah its steamed egg (like Jap chawanmushi - er my spelling wrong) mixed w tofu, mushroom and jin1 zhen1 (canto thingy i guess)Main course - watercress and rice
Main course - Grilled pork ribs! (ha i love it! so nice! Esp after u add some herbs... and it tastes so sweet, slightly sour and slightly spicy.... hahahaha shhh the marinade is trade secret... ha just some random mix from whatever condiments i can find at home)
Main course - CHILLI CRAB
Without the sauce
(ha note that the leg numbers aren't quite in proportion compared to the shell that's cos the person sold us ALL THREE CRABS with only ONE PINCER EACH!!!! They deliberately cut it off! Wert... And we only realised it when we got home. So my dad went to ask about it (actually to complain la haha), but was retorted with the comment: for those crabs with TWO PINCERS it is sold at 20+/kg compared to the current 10+/kg. We were like !?!?!?! So i guess they sell the pincer off to the restaurants who'd make things like crab meat sharksfin... But still, having a "Yang Guo" crabby sounds crappy cos it simply means a few days ago they cut the pincer off and so its not the freshest crab!)
BUT OH WELLS, it turned out that the crab was absolutely fantastic... the meat was succulent and really alot... compared to the past crabs i made, which were smaller, more difficult to eat the crab and abit more "fen3 fen3" ie powdery. Only gripe: one of us didn't get to eat the pincer! NO PINCER GRIP!!!
With the sauce / gravy, whichever u like to call it. (photo not well taken though!)
Finally, the dessert. ha no, not at all sinful.. very light and healthy! All made of fruits! Konnyaku jelly w orange sorbet and grapes and strawberry!
So the whole spread looks something like this:
So healthy rite... the meal doesn't look too oily or fatty. (other than the cholesterol in crab but i made it up with the salad, watercress and fruitty dessert!)HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER! MUHAHAHA! Think he enjoyed the meal. Well, he better have enjoyed it, or else.... ... ...
TIME TO MUG! oops... its wednesday already! :(
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
爬得越高，摔的越重!
第一次这么深切地感受到，你做的每一个决定，都能影响许多人。
看起来非常平凡、不起眼的一件事，都能带来严重的后果。
每一件事都须深思熟虑，一不小心便会犯下弥天大错。
以前总以为自己是不怕跌倒，跌倒后能很快站起来。
但原来不是。
又或许人越大，越怕跌倒。
就像那老人家，一跌就会卧病在床，久久不愈。
爬得越高，摔的越重；越大越是摔地重。
我，还在学习如何不怕跌倒，如何很快的再站起来。
毅力不到，而不是一蹶不振。
看起来非常平凡、不起眼的一件事，都能带来严重的后果。
每一件事都须深思熟虑，一不小心便会犯下弥天大错。
以前总以为自己是不怕跌倒，跌倒后能很快站起来。
但原来不是。
又或许人越大，越怕跌倒。
就像那老人家，一跌就会卧病在床，久久不愈。
爬得越高，摔的越重；越大越是摔地重。
我，还在学习如何不怕跌倒，如何很快的再站起来。
毅力不到，而不是一蹶不振。
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Cats. ha
I can't help but post this: CUTE! Am reminded of BZ & LLL! muhahaha!
You think only you can doze off...
The ferreting kitty...
The video's too long... but Kitty Wipes is here
Heh
You think only you can doze off...
The ferreting kitty...
The video's too long... but Kitty Wipes is here
Heh
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Musings
Random post, referring to myriad of things that happened. So pardon for the jump in thoughts… Each paragraph is but one point of reflection ha. Might/might not have links with the other paragraphs!
I realised its only when its post call do I really sit down and reflect. It is only now do I "pen" it down.
Today, I regretted my own thoughts, my own actions. Its not that I did something outrageous, but it is censured by my own conscience. Rather, the Lord. I realised, while this may not often happen, but there exists a substantial number of people, who are difficult, for a reason. However, we often are just put off by these "difficult" moments, these little snippets of inconveniences which throw us out of our routine that we fail to notice the reasons. I am guilty of that, and for that matter, when I realised the impact of it, it was too late. Had I realised, had I took a moment to think with my heart, I would not have done things like this. I would not have labelled them "difficult" in my heart. I would not have the "if you do not want anything, of course there is nothing I can do and what do you still expect from us".
I so wanted to pray for her, but under those circumstances, I could only mutter something below my breath. I mean when all eyes are scrutinising what you are doing, and any major action that you undertake will potentially bring you down, though it is done out of kindness or concern in your heart. It is not with the subject that you will be helping, but rather the onlookers that are difficult to pacify. You know that who you're reaching out will be appreciative of your efforts, but you do not reach out that hand for fear of the numerous pairs of eyes looking at you. Yes, I do agree this is nothing new. It is an age old argument - tongues will wag. Yet, I am always torn between this "reaching out" and "behaving properly as the society deems appropriate". I know what the society deems correct is never the gold standard. Yet like the turtle, I find it really tough too climb out of that shell. Lord, I need strength to break that shell and crawl out of the comfort zone... Torn between professionalism and what you think is right.
If only I talked to them, things might have been different. I could feel the Holy Spirit nudging me to do something, especially when the words "Rosh Hashana " and " Yom Kippur (day of atonement)" sprung out suddenly. I had the "familiarity" advantage, but I froze in my steps for fear. I should be more afraid that I'm not listening to Him than fitting into the world, but inadvertently, the reverse happened. And my, those words reminded me of my devotion which has dissolved in the face of daily life, how resolutions which I made faded so easily. Aargh! Am disgusted with myself.
Handling the inevitable. I guess one of the reasons I labelled them difficult was that I could not come to terms with this idea they put forth. Probably it was due to my training, or it can be that I could not stand their contradictory statements. Perhaps in situations like this it is always tough to be consistent in your thinking. They were torn between what they wanted and what they felt was best for their loved one. But they've shown me how one handles the big D that haunts everyone. Yes, I know I have victory over that big D, yet when others face it, I do not know how to handle it. I can only leave the big D into His hands. At least, this was not the idea of "comfort measures" that I had. And for a moment I fully experienced what is meant by watching helplessly. It stings most terribly not because you have exhausted your means, but rather you have yet to exhaust your means yet your hands are like tied and you can't do anything.
It seems, as one ages, our outlook towards life change. I am really not sure how she would have wanted things to happen. I keep on getting the feeling that the family were putting their ideas onto her, who was helpless and nearly unarousable. But well, I can’t change their minds. Perhaps this weird feeling it’s just a way that I use to “vent” – as almost all who’re on my list are palliative because the family or person involved chose it.
To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always. But my idea of comfort has been whacked upside down. Perhaps I’ve not really truly encountered these situations outside the textbook so when I’m faced with it, I need a bit more time for adjustment. Once again, textbook comes alive.
By right the week had been a relaxing week. Non-taxing. Am really not sure why I’m having all these musings.
The mouth. I prayed for Him to reveal the spiritual roots to the affliction. I realized that the mouth is a dangerous tool. And I’ve been using it very much in the wrong way most of the time. Well, at least I didn’t want to blog about this but cannot remember the original context in which I put down the point “the mouth”. So I’m blogging more on the affliction than anything.
This then brings me to the point that I do not seem to write in detail the day’s events. Like a diary. I know if I do not write down in detail events, I will forget the context which I write all these reflections (on my blog). Yet, this is still a public domain, how can I not spare the details? Yet, I am too lazy to re-write them on a so called diary. One of the reasons why blogging has been much more successful that keeping a diary: I prefer typing to writing anytime. (Ha, I cannot imagine if I did not learn to type when I was younger) It is times like this that I can only lament the lost of great details of my liife.
I am back to the "I need time for myself" feeling. So I headed down for my own share of comfort measures today but no didn't get that perfect fix that I wanted. It was still a relaxing afternoon. Ha simple pleasures in life... Felt a little rejuvenated after everything. Classic examplf of the fact that TV does not give you rest. It is spending time with yourself and doing things you truly enjoy that gives you the rest. But well, I am really not sure why I can still be glued to that box all the time. Probably an escape mechanism.
All in all I hope I don't regret that so called sacrifice I've made. Both are once in a lifetime things. Well but then again, many things happen only for that one transient time.
Oh my, its back to that newsbreaking thing again. Still cannot bear to bring myself to break the news. Pray more about it.
Have more to write, but times up! :P brb
I realised its only when its post call do I really sit down and reflect. It is only now do I "pen" it down.
Today, I regretted my own thoughts, my own actions. Its not that I did something outrageous, but it is censured by my own conscience. Rather, the Lord. I realised, while this may not often happen, but there exists a substantial number of people, who are difficult, for a reason. However, we often are just put off by these "difficult" moments, these little snippets of inconveniences which throw us out of our routine that we fail to notice the reasons. I am guilty of that, and for that matter, when I realised the impact of it, it was too late. Had I realised, had I took a moment to think with my heart, I would not have done things like this. I would not have labelled them "difficult" in my heart. I would not have the "if you do not want anything, of course there is nothing I can do and what do you still expect from us".
I so wanted to pray for her, but under those circumstances, I could only mutter something below my breath. I mean when all eyes are scrutinising what you are doing, and any major action that you undertake will potentially bring you down, though it is done out of kindness or concern in your heart. It is not with the subject that you will be helping, but rather the onlookers that are difficult to pacify. You know that who you're reaching out will be appreciative of your efforts, but you do not reach out that hand for fear of the numerous pairs of eyes looking at you. Yes, I do agree this is nothing new. It is an age old argument - tongues will wag. Yet, I am always torn between this "reaching out" and "behaving properly as the society deems appropriate". I know what the society deems correct is never the gold standard. Yet like the turtle, I find it really tough too climb out of that shell. Lord, I need strength to break that shell and crawl out of the comfort zone... Torn between professionalism and what you think is right.
If only I talked to them, things might have been different. I could feel the Holy Spirit nudging me to do something, especially when the words "Rosh Hashana " and " Yom Kippur (day of atonement)" sprung out suddenly. I had the "familiarity" advantage, but I froze in my steps for fear. I should be more afraid that I'm not listening to Him than fitting into the world, but inadvertently, the reverse happened. And my, those words reminded me of my devotion which has dissolved in the face of daily life, how resolutions which I made faded so easily. Aargh! Am disgusted with myself.
Handling the inevitable. I guess one of the reasons I labelled them difficult was that I could not come to terms with this idea they put forth. Probably it was due to my training, or it can be that I could not stand their contradictory statements. Perhaps in situations like this it is always tough to be consistent in your thinking. They were torn between what they wanted and what they felt was best for their loved one. But they've shown me how one handles the big D that haunts everyone. Yes, I know I have victory over that big D, yet when others face it, I do not know how to handle it. I can only leave the big D into His hands. At least, this was not the idea of "comfort measures" that I had. And for a moment I fully experienced what is meant by watching helplessly. It stings most terribly not because you have exhausted your means, but rather you have yet to exhaust your means yet your hands are like tied and you can't do anything.
It seems, as one ages, our outlook towards life change. I am really not sure how she would have wanted things to happen. I keep on getting the feeling that the family were putting their ideas onto her, who was helpless and nearly unarousable. But well, I can’t change their minds. Perhaps this weird feeling it’s just a way that I use to “vent” – as almost all who’re on my list are palliative because the family or person involved chose it.
To cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always. But my idea of comfort has been whacked upside down. Perhaps I’ve not really truly encountered these situations outside the textbook so when I’m faced with it, I need a bit more time for adjustment. Once again, textbook comes alive.
By right the week had been a relaxing week. Non-taxing. Am really not sure why I’m having all these musings.
The mouth. I prayed for Him to reveal the spiritual roots to the affliction. I realized that the mouth is a dangerous tool. And I’ve been using it very much in the wrong way most of the time. Well, at least I didn’t want to blog about this but cannot remember the original context in which I put down the point “the mouth”. So I’m blogging more on the affliction than anything.
This then brings me to the point that I do not seem to write in detail the day’s events. Like a diary. I know if I do not write down in detail events, I will forget the context which I write all these reflections (on my blog). Yet, this is still a public domain, how can I not spare the details? Yet, I am too lazy to re-write them on a so called diary. One of the reasons why blogging has been much more successful that keeping a diary: I prefer typing to writing anytime. (Ha, I cannot imagine if I did not learn to type when I was younger) It is times like this that I can only lament the lost of great details of my liife.
I am back to the "I need time for myself" feeling. So I headed down for my own share of comfort measures today but no didn't get that perfect fix that I wanted. It was still a relaxing afternoon. Ha simple pleasures in life... Felt a little rejuvenated after everything. Classic examplf of the fact that TV does not give you rest. It is spending time with yourself and doing things you truly enjoy that gives you the rest. But well, I am really not sure why I can still be glued to that box all the time. Probably an escape mechanism.
All in all I hope I don't regret that so called sacrifice I've made. Both are once in a lifetime things. Well but then again, many things happen only for that one transient time.
Oh my, its back to that newsbreaking thing again. Still cannot bear to bring myself to break the news. Pray more about it.
Have more to write, but times up! :P brb
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Purity
Ha yesterday's sharing had been great. Not that the message was something that hasn't been heard before, but the fact that my mouth opened and i actually shared about something so personal. Yes, in fact i don't know why my mouth opened and how i actually would say all those things. But the fact was that God has calling me to do that for many times but I never really got about doing it. This time, I did it. The feeling was, liberating.
Really. I finally understood what it means by crucifying your flesh. It is a long arduous journey of giving up your old ways. Those ways that are sinful and terrible. The very word "crucifying" simply means that it is a slow and painful process. Now i look back, I really thank God for seeing me through. Am so glad God pulled me out of the filth.
The whole process begins with you identifying the areas in your life which you've problem with, ie having a problem with God. In short, sins. Then the nudging from the Holy Spirit to ask us to change. And starting to change. And falling back to the habit again after some time, back where you started and try again. Yes, it is exactly like trying to kick a drug addiction. During the process you might feel like you've lost yourself, feel that you can't continue, even having "depersonalisation" (yes, psychiatric term). Yet at the end of it all, you feel much much lighter and the problem that once seemed to be taking every part of your life now becomes nothing more than a speck of dust. And to wipe away that final speck, its to talk to someone else about it. Only when the problem comes to light, will it be gone forever.
And yes, so I've completed resolution of 2 issues. I know the 3rd one will be resolved soon. And well i guess i'm just waiting for a more matured person to bring it to light and thereafter uprooting these issues forever and ever.
As I look back, I really do not think how I managed to walk through all that. I wouldn't want to walk through it again. Yet, in future if there's something like this once again, I'd be more cool about it, for I know at the end, God is waiting for me. He is standing at the end of the whole race waiting to pick me up and hug me. Daddy God!
I am proud of Daddy God. And likewise, at the end of my life, I wanna Him to be able to say proudly, "that is my son!"
So, walk in all purity!
Really. I finally understood what it means by crucifying your flesh. It is a long arduous journey of giving up your old ways. Those ways that are sinful and terrible. The very word "crucifying" simply means that it is a slow and painful process. Now i look back, I really thank God for seeing me through. Am so glad God pulled me out of the filth.
The whole process begins with you identifying the areas in your life which you've problem with, ie having a problem with God. In short, sins. Then the nudging from the Holy Spirit to ask us to change. And starting to change. And falling back to the habit again after some time, back where you started and try again. Yes, it is exactly like trying to kick a drug addiction. During the process you might feel like you've lost yourself, feel that you can't continue, even having "depersonalisation" (yes, psychiatric term). Yet at the end of it all, you feel much much lighter and the problem that once seemed to be taking every part of your life now becomes nothing more than a speck of dust. And to wipe away that final speck, its to talk to someone else about it. Only when the problem comes to light, will it be gone forever.
And yes, so I've completed resolution of 2 issues. I know the 3rd one will be resolved soon. And well i guess i'm just waiting for a more matured person to bring it to light and thereafter uprooting these issues forever and ever.
As I look back, I really do not think how I managed to walk through all that. I wouldn't want to walk through it again. Yet, in future if there's something like this once again, I'd be more cool about it, for I know at the end, God is waiting for me. He is standing at the end of the whole race waiting to pick me up and hug me. Daddy God!
I am proud of Daddy God. And likewise, at the end of my life, I wanna Him to be able to say proudly, "that is my son!"
So, walk in all purity!
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
How apt. How striking the message was.
When he cried, the message reached out even more strongly. It struck me.
Its really amazing how God works. As he prepared for the message, he was struck by his own faults. So he simply shared his thoughts. God has turned his reflection and repentance into reflection and repentance in everyone who was listening, bringing us all back to where we started, when we felt like a filthy piece of rubbish. We are all pieces of rubbish that God saved. (Yes, no matter how "respectable" your sins may seem, all sins are equal in His eyes.)
He lives by example. He may not be perfect, yet he is right. Even in his position, he is still reflecting upon himself daily. He is full of repentance before God. He has shown that there can never be a day that we do not have to repent, for there is no way we're going to be perfect before we meet Christ face to face.
Every day, we have to lay down everything at the foot of the cross and ask for His forgiveness. It is only when we reflect upon ourselves daily that we can keep on growing and maturing in Christ. We have to examine all our sins and be determined to change. And we have to remember always that being saved is only the starting. We have always to be in a state of being "poor in spirit", which simply means that we do not become self-righteous, but instead always recognising how Jesus has paid double for all our sins. Once we forget this and get too comfortable with our lives and think that we have nothing to repent about or "i'm already quite good", we're on our way to becoming self-righteous, we're on our way to becoming the Pharisee.
Yes, and he too, is right. I might really be on my way to becoming a Pharisee. Thank God for showing me this. I probably have started to be judgmental, forcing my thoughts on others, not being the gentle servant He expects us to be. Repentance!
To always be the poor in the spirit, so that we can yield to God every day.
And definitely, i realised as i reflected, when one is self-righteous, ie righteous in his own thoughts, it is difficult for him to accept Christ. When one has his own set of thinking rather than that which comes from God, he has set his own benchmark unknowingly, which traps him and he is unable to see things from another perspective. One will hold on to his benchmark and no matter what happens, he will use his benchmark to choose. Hence, no matter how many choices there are, he is limited by the benchmark he sets, so he can only see one eventual choice.
Perhaps everyone is like this, but I'm glad my benchmark does not come from myself, but from God.
Truly understood what is meant by sitting on different sides of the camp. You understand the opposing camp, yet you are never able to accept them, due to differences in ideals, principalities. That might lead to war.
I knew God's grace was important, but never realised the impact until recently. I always thought reasoning, convincing worked, yet God has truly shown me the reason for my salvation is by grace and grace alone. Not by my own warped reasoning. There is nothing I've done that deserve His grace, yet He showered it upon me. So now there is nothing else I can really do, except to pray for His grace.
Pray to be poor in the spirit daily.
One thing is for certain. There's a fixed volume. So how much we get of Him is how little we shrink ourselves into. And He will fill the remaining space.
And yes, for her, where she's treading to is against principalities. Yet in the bottom of my heart, I know she'd be able to do it, cos I confident in Him.
Being poor in the spirit, however, can disadvantage us too. If we yield not to God but towards something else, it is dangerous, for that something can fill that gap and make us even poorer in the spirit unknowingly. We deviate further and further. So it all boils down to God's grace. Yes, it is true that for them, they too have a relationship, they too yield to something higher, yet, when this relationship is not with god but with a spirit, does it really not matter? why would one be content with that?
Yes, be poor in the spirit and yield to God.
And be glad to be in His grace.
When he cried, the message reached out even more strongly. It struck me.
Its really amazing how God works. As he prepared for the message, he was struck by his own faults. So he simply shared his thoughts. God has turned his reflection and repentance into reflection and repentance in everyone who was listening, bringing us all back to where we started, when we felt like a filthy piece of rubbish. We are all pieces of rubbish that God saved. (Yes, no matter how "respectable" your sins may seem, all sins are equal in His eyes.)
He lives by example. He may not be perfect, yet he is right. Even in his position, he is still reflecting upon himself daily. He is full of repentance before God. He has shown that there can never be a day that we do not have to repent, for there is no way we're going to be perfect before we meet Christ face to face.
Every day, we have to lay down everything at the foot of the cross and ask for His forgiveness. It is only when we reflect upon ourselves daily that we can keep on growing and maturing in Christ. We have to examine all our sins and be determined to change. And we have to remember always that being saved is only the starting. We have always to be in a state of being "poor in spirit", which simply means that we do not become self-righteous, but instead always recognising how Jesus has paid double for all our sins. Once we forget this and get too comfortable with our lives and think that we have nothing to repent about or "i'm already quite good", we're on our way to becoming self-righteous, we're on our way to becoming the Pharisee.
Yes, and he too, is right. I might really be on my way to becoming a Pharisee. Thank God for showing me this. I probably have started to be judgmental, forcing my thoughts on others, not being the gentle servant He expects us to be. Repentance!
To always be the poor in the spirit, so that we can yield to God every day.
And definitely, i realised as i reflected, when one is self-righteous, ie righteous in his own thoughts, it is difficult for him to accept Christ. When one has his own set of thinking rather than that which comes from God, he has set his own benchmark unknowingly, which traps him and he is unable to see things from another perspective. One will hold on to his benchmark and no matter what happens, he will use his benchmark to choose. Hence, no matter how many choices there are, he is limited by the benchmark he sets, so he can only see one eventual choice.
Perhaps everyone is like this, but I'm glad my benchmark does not come from myself, but from God.
Truly understood what is meant by sitting on different sides of the camp. You understand the opposing camp, yet you are never able to accept them, due to differences in ideals, principalities. That might lead to war.
I knew God's grace was important, but never realised the impact until recently. I always thought reasoning, convincing worked, yet God has truly shown me the reason for my salvation is by grace and grace alone. Not by my own warped reasoning. There is nothing I've done that deserve His grace, yet He showered it upon me. So now there is nothing else I can really do, except to pray for His grace.
Pray to be poor in the spirit daily.
One thing is for certain. There's a fixed volume. So how much we get of Him is how little we shrink ourselves into. And He will fill the remaining space.
And yes, for her, where she's treading to is against principalities. Yet in the bottom of my heart, I know she'd be able to do it, cos I confident in Him.
Being poor in the spirit, however, can disadvantage us too. If we yield not to God but towards something else, it is dangerous, for that something can fill that gap and make us even poorer in the spirit unknowingly. We deviate further and further. So it all boils down to God's grace. Yes, it is true that for them, they too have a relationship, they too yield to something higher, yet, when this relationship is not with god but with a spirit, does it really not matter? why would one be content with that?
Yes, be poor in the spirit and yield to God.
And be glad to be in His grace.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Thoughts
Each and every day i'm trying. Not too bad, but there is definitely room for improvement. It has been on my mind for some time. How to juggle my time, how not to let the busy-ness get into me and how to spend each and everyday with Him and not get sucked into the cycle of meeting Him only on weekends.
It is tough. He did not promise it will be easy. And it is tougher that every action of yours will be scrutinised, that every action will be matched up to a preconceived standard. Yet this perspective is new and definitely helps change me. Just the imagery of Jesus sitting beside me and listening to what I say in my every day life is really strong. I become more aware of myself, of how I'm conducting myself and it is almost like a constant reminder to live a life glorifying Him and not of the flesh.
Someone asked - is there free will in Christianity. Yes, there is. He gave us the option to choose to accept Him or not. Yet, for all that He has done for me, I am willing to give up my freedom and submit to His ways. Its like when you're in a relationship with someone, you'd just give up certain things, all out of love. Therefore, I am trying to change.
I am not perfect. Please do correct me anytime. i need correction.
Think through...
efficiency efficiency. i need lots of that.
anw had a great sharing today. just feel so different but i guess cos we're all nearly the same age we can clique and understand each others' struggles. Actually i've come to a point of forgetting their ages ha
had a talk with someone. just felt that to understand fully what to do in future, the purpose of your life, the crux is to find out the truth and then you can fix the other stuff.
like when i was in yr 1, i struggled with my purpose, my being; was not even sure if what i was doing what i was believing in is real. Yet i know if i didnt find out, no matter how stressed by the exams was, i couldnt continue on with my life, with living. Cos living will be so meaningless. I knew myself. I'm that kinda of person that will not rest till i make sense of something bothering me. So i'd never be at peace if i didnt find out the truth. The truth might not be as it turns out to be, or i hoped to be, but i knew at that point of time, i needed an answer to carry on with living. And yes, i am glad i found the answer.
It doesn't really matter what answer you get, but i guess we cannot just stay in a state that we just be through each and every day not being fully sure of what we are doing, what our purpose is. Mindless pursuits are just so ridiculous. You have to know where you're heading to, to have a stand. Even if you may not be right i guess.
And yes, i fully agree with my friend. Every moment, every second in life can never be repeated. And we may think we might meet the person again, yet you might never know. And the sphere of people that we each meet are different so it makes us all unique in a sense and no one can fulfill that niche of speaking to others other than you. For example, i guess im the only one who knows person A in that place where person B brought me to and person B doesn't even know person A. i mean all these links are so complex and so intriguing. It is a wonder how each of us are connected, how the way we're connected with other people is also unique.
And we will never know what happens the next day. We dunno if we'd wake up to another day. So live each day as it is the only chance for you to do something. Only then do we appreciate the opportunities we have, the people we meet and to speak to them.
Someone posted me this question. Thought it was really interesting. I have my answer, but have you gotten yours? The question's like this: when you die, and you were to see someone standing in front of you, how confident you are of who He is? will it be the god you worship, or are you not even sure of it? For me the answer is clear. I am very confident that when I die, i'd meet God. no doubts about that.
basically the question is: what is the truth?
The truth may hurt now, but do not let it hurt you forever. seek the truth, do not avoid.
There can only be but one truth. An apple will always be an apple no matter how you call it. it can appear as different forms but there is only one fruit that is an apple. you can have a fruit that looks similar eg nectarine but it'd never be an apple.
There can never be multiple truths cos if there is multiple, it isn't a truth anymore. By definition of Oxford dictionary, true = in accordance with fact or reality / genuine / exact / accurate. So with such precision, there can only be one truth.
Teachers' day today. wow. i guess it not only celebrates the contribution by the school teachers. I guess everyone can be a teacher, if we so want - in different aspects of life. And yes, this day is the start of a month of prayer.
salvation. Hmmm interesting note here. what is salvation in Christianity? will you go to heaven just because you are "christian" or so called accepted Christ? Accepting Christ is but just a belief that there is Christ, and you wants Him to come into your life. that is just the beginning. Yet do you go to heaven just because of this? no. not really. satan knows God, he fears and trembles at His name, but is he saved just because he believed? NO NO NO! It is how you live your life. satan knows that there is a God. but he does not live a Christ-like life. he is only out to destroy. So for anyone who thinks that you're saved just cos you are a Christian, it is absolutely not true. If you do not repent of your ways, do not change and continue to sin, then you're no different from satan and his angels.
And definitely, there can be no human effort to reach Him. there has to be His grace.
Keeping my eyes fixed on Him! And tarry not, there is no time to waste!
It is tough. He did not promise it will be easy. And it is tougher that every action of yours will be scrutinised, that every action will be matched up to a preconceived standard. Yet this perspective is new and definitely helps change me. Just the imagery of Jesus sitting beside me and listening to what I say in my every day life is really strong. I become more aware of myself, of how I'm conducting myself and it is almost like a constant reminder to live a life glorifying Him and not of the flesh.
Someone asked - is there free will in Christianity. Yes, there is. He gave us the option to choose to accept Him or not. Yet, for all that He has done for me, I am willing to give up my freedom and submit to His ways. Its like when you're in a relationship with someone, you'd just give up certain things, all out of love. Therefore, I am trying to change.
I am not perfect. Please do correct me anytime. i need correction.
Think through...
efficiency efficiency. i need lots of that.
anw had a great sharing today. just feel so different but i guess cos we're all nearly the same age we can clique and understand each others' struggles. Actually i've come to a point of forgetting their ages ha
had a talk with someone. just felt that to understand fully what to do in future, the purpose of your life, the crux is to find out the truth and then you can fix the other stuff.
like when i was in yr 1, i struggled with my purpose, my being; was not even sure if what i was doing what i was believing in is real. Yet i know if i didnt find out, no matter how stressed by the exams was, i couldnt continue on with my life, with living. Cos living will be so meaningless. I knew myself. I'm that kinda of person that will not rest till i make sense of something bothering me. So i'd never be at peace if i didnt find out the truth. The truth might not be as it turns out to be, or i hoped to be, but i knew at that point of time, i needed an answer to carry on with living. And yes, i am glad i found the answer.
It doesn't really matter what answer you get, but i guess we cannot just stay in a state that we just be through each and every day not being fully sure of what we are doing, what our purpose is. Mindless pursuits are just so ridiculous. You have to know where you're heading to, to have a stand. Even if you may not be right i guess.
And yes, i fully agree with my friend. Every moment, every second in life can never be repeated. And we may think we might meet the person again, yet you might never know. And the sphere of people that we each meet are different so it makes us all unique in a sense and no one can fulfill that niche of speaking to others other than you. For example, i guess im the only one who knows person A in that place where person B brought me to and person B doesn't even know person A. i mean all these links are so complex and so intriguing. It is a wonder how each of us are connected, how the way we're connected with other people is also unique.
And we will never know what happens the next day. We dunno if we'd wake up to another day. So live each day as it is the only chance for you to do something. Only then do we appreciate the opportunities we have, the people we meet and to speak to them.
Someone posted me this question. Thought it was really interesting. I have my answer, but have you gotten yours? The question's like this: when you die, and you were to see someone standing in front of you, how confident you are of who He is? will it be the god you worship, or are you not even sure of it? For me the answer is clear. I am very confident that when I die, i'd meet God. no doubts about that.
basically the question is: what is the truth?
The truth may hurt now, but do not let it hurt you forever. seek the truth, do not avoid.
There can only be but one truth. An apple will always be an apple no matter how you call it. it can appear as different forms but there is only one fruit that is an apple. you can have a fruit that looks similar eg nectarine but it'd never be an apple.
There can never be multiple truths cos if there is multiple, it isn't a truth anymore. By definition of Oxford dictionary, true = in accordance with fact or reality / genuine / exact / accurate. So with such precision, there can only be one truth.
Teachers' day today. wow. i guess it not only celebrates the contribution by the school teachers. I guess everyone can be a teacher, if we so want - in different aspects of life. And yes, this day is the start of a month of prayer.
salvation. Hmmm interesting note here. what is salvation in Christianity? will you go to heaven just because you are "christian" or so called accepted Christ? Accepting Christ is but just a belief that there is Christ, and you wants Him to come into your life. that is just the beginning. Yet do you go to heaven just because of this? no. not really. satan knows God, he fears and trembles at His name, but is he saved just because he believed? NO NO NO! It is how you live your life. satan knows that there is a God. but he does not live a Christ-like life. he is only out to destroy. So for anyone who thinks that you're saved just cos you are a Christian, it is absolutely not true. If you do not repent of your ways, do not change and continue to sin, then you're no different from satan and his angels.
And definitely, there can be no human effort to reach Him. there has to be His grace.
Keeping my eyes fixed on Him! And tarry not, there is no time to waste!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
MEDAL FOR SINGAPORE!!!! TABLE TENNIS ROX
Ha well other nations have it easy. They can almost predict whether they can get the next gold medal. (think: P-H-E-L-P-S ha) But for Singapore, its been a wait for 48 years! I watched the match. Yes, it was nearly 4 hours long, so much so that they had to shorten the time and limit the number of strokes by each player in the last game. But yet under such pressure, our dear Feng Tianwei had nerves of steel and battled on valiantly. Ha and the doubles was good too! i mean before that they say we've never beaten the Korean doubles, but now we actually won! Woo hoo! Well done ne!
If you look at all the statistics etc, you'd have predicted that Singapore could win. After all, we are seeded second. Yet, i guess for a nation who's never gotten so near to the podium in nearly half a century, if u're the ones representing the nation, you'd too have dropped ranking from 1 to 100. I mean like so much pressure so much expectations how to stay calm right? At least for me, the non participant, i just could not sit still. i was shouting, cheering, clapping, booing, banging hands and legs, jumping around at each stroke of the tie breaking match between Feng and Park. Oh man. I told me fren that my heart just came out lah! So yups, here's the moment to savour:
and this being just after National Day sounds so apt.
And i was very emotional after they won. Nearly had tears of joy. ha But can you imagine if you're them?
HA finally, please do remember to tune in to Channel U at 7.30pm on Sunday for the finals against China!
Sidenote: i really wonder how PM Lee can deliver his national day speech on sunday when our nation's on our way to try get a GOLD! Oh man, think no one will be watching his speech lor, and those in the auditorium will be wanting to leave. For all you know halfway during his speech they'd screen updates ha. Ha i tink PM Lee also can't concentrate leh! Even Mr Teo Chee Hean was in Beijing today to support them lah!
For me, i guess the silver is good enough. *contented* But you know, as humans we're all greedy. Once you have the silver, you'd want the gold. ha. If there is this slight chance, we'd still wish for a GOLD, no matter how strong China team seems.
me in great anticipation... cham think will be thinking of the finals the whole weekend!
WELL DONE SINGAPORE! WELL DONE LI JIAWEI, WANG YUEGU, FENG TIAN WEI. You gals rox!
P/S: Why aren't these people working?
cos its the olympics!
... and people aren't studying too!
like me! MUHAHAHA
tata
If you look at all the statistics etc, you'd have predicted that Singapore could win. After all, we are seeded second. Yet, i guess for a nation who's never gotten so near to the podium in nearly half a century, if u're the ones representing the nation, you'd too have dropped ranking from 1 to 100. I mean like so much pressure so much expectations how to stay calm right? At least for me, the non participant, i just could not sit still. i was shouting, cheering, clapping, booing, banging hands and legs, jumping around at each stroke of the tie breaking match between Feng and Park. Oh man. I told me fren that my heart just came out lah! So yups, here's the moment to savour:
and this being just after National Day sounds so apt.
And i was very emotional after they won. Nearly had tears of joy. ha But can you imagine if you're them?
HA finally, please do remember to tune in to Channel U at 7.30pm on Sunday for the finals against China!
Sidenote: i really wonder how PM Lee can deliver his national day speech on sunday when our nation's on our way to try get a GOLD! Oh man, think no one will be watching his speech lor, and those in the auditorium will be wanting to leave. For all you know halfway during his speech they'd screen updates ha. Ha i tink PM Lee also can't concentrate leh! Even Mr Teo Chee Hean was in Beijing today to support them lah!
For me, i guess the silver is good enough. *contented* But you know, as humans we're all greedy. Once you have the silver, you'd want the gold. ha. If there is this slight chance, we'd still wish for a GOLD, no matter how strong China team seems.
me in great anticipation... cham think will be thinking of the finals the whole weekend!
WELL DONE SINGAPORE! WELL DONE LI JIAWEI, WANG YUEGU, FENG TIAN WEI. You gals rox!
P/S: Why aren't these people working?
cos its the olympics!
... and people aren't studying too!
like me! MUHAHAHA
tata
Friday, August 15, 2008
My dear feedback
RRRRRrrrrr
Ok but yeah, now im physically filling up the feedback forms in the hospital. Our dear university has downgraded itself in terms of technology. I can fully understand why they're doing this, but I just need to complain... for a while.
The feedback forms for our tutors used to be online. So we just have to gain access to the internet and then we just click click click and we're done. But ya, students being students, they always ignore what the administration tells them to do. So the feedback rate is as low as 20% in some rotations. As feedback is so important in judging the *&^^%#&*%($$ given to the hospitals, they need a high feedback rate. So to ensure that all of us do it, they've downgraded the whole system of feedback to the paper system again. so all of us have to use our pen and fill up SHEETS of feedback forms. Waste ink, waste paper, waste time. Seriously, i type faster than i write lah!
Sigh...
just some complaints....
but oh wells on the brighter note. TABLE TENNIS WOMENS SEMIFINALS SINGAPORE VS SOUTH KOREA!!!! coming up. i hope they win
Ok but yeah, now im physically filling up the feedback forms in the hospital. Our dear university has downgraded itself in terms of technology. I can fully understand why they're doing this, but I just need to complain... for a while.
The feedback forms for our tutors used to be online. So we just have to gain access to the internet and then we just click click click and we're done. But ya, students being students, they always ignore what the administration tells them to do. So the feedback rate is as low as 20% in some rotations. As feedback is so important in judging the *&^^%#&*%($$ given to the hospitals, they need a high feedback rate. So to ensure that all of us do it, they've downgraded the whole system of feedback to the paper system again. so all of us have to use our pen and fill up SHEETS of feedback forms. Waste ink, waste paper, waste time. Seriously, i type faster than i write lah!
Sigh...
just some complaints....
but oh wells on the brighter note. TABLE TENNIS WOMENS SEMIFINALS SINGAPORE VS SOUTH KOREA!!!! coming up. i hope they win
Tough, Sombre but True.
The title suggests it. These videos are titled "the immoral generation"
Part1
Part 2
Well, Just felt that we should all reflect upon these issues and not leave it hanging. Face it, not avoid it, and change.
Part1
Part 2
Well, Just felt that we should all reflect upon these issues and not leave it hanging. Face it, not avoid it, and change.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Breaking the walls of my Igloo and walk right into the cold, bringing the only warmth - LOVE - to the unknown snow capped land
I have never been so impressed. She has really opened my eyes to many things which I have not seen or thought about before. As what V would say, "You have really challenged me." I have never seen that kind of love radiating out from somebody. I have never seen that kind of expressivity, that kind of love and concern, emulating that perfect love of the Lord.
I find myself pale in comparison. Now I find my own ideals and purpose put to shame.
Face it, boy! You have always been dreaming, been a dreamer, just thinking about things but never really doing it. Or rather, you have always not been able to walk out of that box. At most, you have only walked to the door, facing the world outside briefly and returning back to your box.
It is time to wake up and inject some energy and enthusiasm in my life! I have been stagnant for so long. In fact at times, the water has flowed back from where it started.
I am not so high and mighty. I am only a small fry. Yet, not matter how small a fry I am, as long as I don upon the love of the Lord, people will be touched.
I realised that how un-expressive I am. I find it difficult to express my feelings, to show my concern, to verbalise the real thoughts I have inside. It is always suppressed. I may seem like a joyful, loud person, but I am only an empty vessel. I make the most noise over small things which I have done. Yet I come to realise, that I should learn to be less noisy and fill up my vessel. But now I know, how it is to express concern, how to make your thoughts into action.
I must say I am really impressed.
I guess I have always put a wall around myself. This wall is built up through years of experience in this world. The wall was set up to protect myself - from cheats, etc - so that if anyone wanted to, they could not hurt me.
Yet it is time for me to break down this thick wall. I have seen how this wall has stopped me short of reaching out to others, to showing my genuine concern. I have seen how someone who's not afraid of being cheated, being taken advantage of, can touch many others.
All the things I have thought of and wanted to do, but not done - W did it. I always tell myself "one day... one day i'd do it... now the circumstances do not allow it... my *** will do *** etc etc... the time will come..." but I have realised two things. One, the famous saying: "time and tide waits for no man." Two, be proactive and lift your butt off the seat and get things done! No use talking!
And yes, I often wonder why do others have so much time, yet I seem to always be struggling with time. I really need some planning. I really need to make myself more efficient.
Mark my words. No matter how tongue tied I am, how uncomfortable i get when talking to others, showing my general concern, I will try.
Shall see where He leads me. Revelation in the process...
I will try to love as how God loved us. I cannot love every single one in the world. But He can. And I will try... May Your love flow through me!
I have wasted another day. But i shall waste it no more... There is so much to be done, yet the workers are few.
I will work hard in breaking this wall!
I find myself pale in comparison. Now I find my own ideals and purpose put to shame.
Face it, boy! You have always been dreaming, been a dreamer, just thinking about things but never really doing it. Or rather, you have always not been able to walk out of that box. At most, you have only walked to the door, facing the world outside briefly and returning back to your box.
It is time to wake up and inject some energy and enthusiasm in my life! I have been stagnant for so long. In fact at times, the water has flowed back from where it started.
I am not so high and mighty. I am only a small fry. Yet, not matter how small a fry I am, as long as I don upon the love of the Lord, people will be touched.
I realised that how un-expressive I am. I find it difficult to express my feelings, to show my concern, to verbalise the real thoughts I have inside. It is always suppressed. I may seem like a joyful, loud person, but I am only an empty vessel. I make the most noise over small things which I have done. Yet I come to realise, that I should learn to be less noisy and fill up my vessel. But now I know, how it is to express concern, how to make your thoughts into action.
I must say I am really impressed.
I guess I have always put a wall around myself. This wall is built up through years of experience in this world. The wall was set up to protect myself - from cheats, etc - so that if anyone wanted to, they could not hurt me.
Yet it is time for me to break down this thick wall. I have seen how this wall has stopped me short of reaching out to others, to showing my genuine concern. I have seen how someone who's not afraid of being cheated, being taken advantage of, can touch many others.
All the things I have thought of and wanted to do, but not done - W did it. I always tell myself "one day... one day i'd do it... now the circumstances do not allow it... my *** will do *** etc etc... the time will come..." but I have realised two things. One, the famous saying: "time and tide waits for no man." Two, be proactive and lift your butt off the seat and get things done! No use talking!
And yes, I often wonder why do others have so much time, yet I seem to always be struggling with time. I really need some planning. I really need to make myself more efficient.
Mark my words. No matter how tongue tied I am, how uncomfortable i get when talking to others, showing my general concern, I will try.
Shall see where He leads me. Revelation in the process...
I will try to love as how God loved us. I cannot love every single one in the world. But He can. And I will try... May Your love flow through me!
I have wasted another day. But i shall waste it no more... There is so much to be done, yet the workers are few.
I will work hard in breaking this wall!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Happy National Day + Olympics! WOOO!
hur hur hur... its time for some patriotism! Its national day! ha nope never had the habit of rushing for the tickets to try to get a glimpse of the national day parade, but without fail every year, my family will gather at my grandma's home for a curry chicken feast and watch the parade! Don't know how it all started, but yups, that is the usual practice every year since i was born. Guess national day is not just a day for us to come and remember the contributions of our forefathers, to look back at the hard work of Singaporeans and how fare we've come. It is also a day for the family to get together, to remember how important our family is.
For our dear foreign friends reading this post, you probably do not know much about Singapore. Here's some info! Love wikipedia haha:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore
and http://www.visitsingapore.com/publish/stbportal/en/index.html
erhms and now its olympics time!!! Ha dunno why everytime olympics i get so excited! already have in mind what i intend to watch! Yups love sports ne! ha tink i am getting abit ga ga over the olympics. even subscribed to sms alerts to results of team singapore's performance! (ha free lah) haha so even though i cant watch i'd know how fellow singaporeans r doing! ha hope can catch the badminton games la! badminton leh! susilo rox ha just try ur best la ha if u too wanna catch our team's performance, go to: http://www.teamsingapore.com.sg/publish/teamsingapore/en/games/Olympics/Beijing2008.html
k enuf crap. back to studying... :s
For our dear foreign friends reading this post, you probably do not know much about Singapore. Here's some info! Love wikipedia haha:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore
and http://www.visitsingapore.com/publish/stbportal/en/index.html
erhms and now its olympics time!!! Ha dunno why everytime olympics i get so excited! already have in mind what i intend to watch! Yups love sports ne! ha tink i am getting abit ga ga over the olympics. even subscribed to sms alerts to results of team singapore's performance! (ha free lah) haha so even though i cant watch i'd know how fellow singaporeans r doing! ha hope can catch the badminton games la! badminton leh! susilo rox ha just try ur best la ha if u too wanna catch our team's performance, go to: http://www.teamsingapore.com.sg/publish/teamsingapore/en/games/Olympics/Beijing2008.html
k enuf crap. back to studying... :s
The Floppy Infant
Once again, this might be an emo post. Guess i'd only pen down the more emo stuff usually. So beware...
Starting my revision postings... We've to build up the exam mood, we're trying to race against time to see as many cases as possible, so much so that we plunge into case after case. Yet, caution! Take a step back, take a moment to reflect...
As I look at them, i'm reminded of why i had wanted to do paediatrics. Helpless, powerless are they. A whole life ahead of them, yet just one irresponsible parent, just one stroke of bad luck, just one infection, they'd be a dependent for the rest of their lives...
Have seen a very cute baby during tut. Did all the necessary examination, thought he was normal, except probably his occiput was flatter than usual. Yet when we looked at the MRI, i realised, he might remain that "cute" forever... Development will be impaired, especially of the brain. Intelligence, motor function, personal social, might not advance any more. His brain might compensate, might rewire, or it might not. How true the saying is: what is done, cannot be undone.
Who then will help these helpless ones?
***
I always think that we are held responsible for the gifts God has given us. If u're given more, you're expected to use more of what you have (blessings, gifts etc) to help others who have less. It is a fair system. So perhaps, it is better to be less smart? At least there'd be less responsibility ha.
***
so anyway, i'd see where He leads me...
Starting my revision postings... We've to build up the exam mood, we're trying to race against time to see as many cases as possible, so much so that we plunge into case after case. Yet, caution! Take a step back, take a moment to reflect...
As I look at them, i'm reminded of why i had wanted to do paediatrics. Helpless, powerless are they. A whole life ahead of them, yet just one irresponsible parent, just one stroke of bad luck, just one infection, they'd be a dependent for the rest of their lives...
Have seen a very cute baby during tut. Did all the necessary examination, thought he was normal, except probably his occiput was flatter than usual. Yet when we looked at the MRI, i realised, he might remain that "cute" forever... Development will be impaired, especially of the brain. Intelligence, motor function, personal social, might not advance any more. His brain might compensate, might rewire, or it might not. How true the saying is: what is done, cannot be undone.
Who then will help these helpless ones?
***
I always think that we are held responsible for the gifts God has given us. If u're given more, you're expected to use more of what you have (blessings, gifts etc) to help others who have less. It is a fair system. So perhaps, it is better to be less smart? At least there'd be less responsibility ha.
***
so anyway, i'd see where He leads me...
Sunday, July 27, 2008
RaMbLinGs of the UnStEaDy, SlEep DePriVED MiND
Work has been quite interesting thus far. But yet, sometimes it sets me thinking.
Where there are people, there will be politics, there will be interpersonal relationships to handle. For those who know me, hmmm i think deep inside me i really do not know how to handle such things. Or rather i do not like to handle such things. But i guess i just have to learn. Things are no longer as simple in school, where everyone's a student and everyone is just helping everyone, with that occasional gossip just for the fun of it.
I feel like i am learning ballet everyday. I tiptoe everyday, just to make sure i don't step on others' toes. Yet, with such a fat and clumsy ballerina like me, i am unable to keep that tiptoe and land my big fat foot heavily on others' toes. And such things tire me. And realise how important it is to have a friend or fellow colleague in the same shoes to share your thoughts, if not i think i'd become a mad ballerina.
Yes, the ballerina dances best during the solo dance, when she can just leap and fly and split without thinking of stepping on others' toes.
I thought i was used to being the odd one out in Uganda, being the "celebrity" getting all the stares and attention, when every action of yours will be scrutinised. Yet, back here, its the same. Don't like that feeling i guess. But no choice. I don't like to do things or trying to do things just to "show someone that i am capable, i can do stuff". I might have used to be like that when i was still a teen, but nah definitely not now. I just want to do my own stuff. Don't disturb me.
Am i simple or am i too complicated? Sometimes i find myself not knowing how to respond to a certain person/action. I find myself lacking a character. When i just do not know how to behave, i'd just smile in a silly manner. Or rather, i find alot of things funny that people don't find it funny and i can't control myself. All my expressions are on my face. I feel so transparent. But yups, though i can act, i have learnt more and more how to be true to myself and not act. Feel that I have been peeling off that layers and layers of covering over me during these few years.
Take for eg i went to this _____ store to buy drink with my fren. Cos my fren was paying first and i passed him some money for my drink, he wanted to pass me his 5 cents coinS. Ha so u know my usual reaction is.... "huh don't want la. they will definitely give you change then you just pass me the change" in Mandarin. Then this cashier suddenly burst out (in mandarin, towards me): "don't think i don't understand what you are talking about. I can speak chinese, malay, english, tamil" and then to prove it she said things in all the 4 official languages. Ha so you know i was at first like ??? i wasn't even talking to / about you, you're saying this. Then later the first thought that entered my mind was that (cos i was in a psy ward) could she be an escapee fr the ward? then i burst out laughing but tried to control. then she got more pissed. sigh i mean i dun mean to make anybody angry or wat but it just happens. Out of my control, when i try to be the person that i am. Ha many incidents worse / like this la. but yups i don't really care actually, but u know when u're working, things really turn out better if u are able to handle such things. u'd rather have a (N_r _E) fill in the blanks that can help u do ur stuff rather than one who'd even say durin resus "i cant do chest compressions" and just stand there, when everyone else is busy.
Well this week when i fully get involved in the care of my pt, i invested more emotions into it and yes, i end up worse.
all in one day:
1) anaemia workup ---- result: malignant gastric ulcer
2) came for gastroenteritis, +ve salmonella - did chest xray - noticed large lung lesion on upper lobe - had chronic cough, was advised years ago to do surg for lung but defaulted - +ve for Tuberculosis in sputum (more layman term la, so u all can understand) - CT scan shows multiple lesions in lung and liver. Cancer vs TB.
3) Liver nodule for biospy - hepatocellular carcinoma ie liver cancer
my reg was breaking all these bad news all within the same round. of course, he's good, he's experienced. he has done it so many times its impersonal. or rather, he sees the patients once a day during that short less-than-one-hour round he doesn't really know them. it could be the way he put it. After he said it to the patients, they were like: "uh huh..." but i wonder when the message really sets in, how will they feel. there's one that felt like nothing had happened and even loudly said bye and thanked us when he was to be transferred to another ward.
but as he broke the bad news, my heart was breaking...
1) this nice affable old man. always so tolerant to the pokes i make in his arms. always thanking us. just admitted for giddiness, had long term anaemia already, but yet...
2) this guy is mid forties, ONLY CAME IN FOR GE, so healthy and strong, so friendly, yet...
3) well this guy has the lowest pain threshold, always hurling verbal abuses at me and others cos we couldnt get that IV plug in... always... until today... last time i was abit scared cos he'd wail and wail till the whole ward can hear when i poke in that needle. now i just let him... i really dun mind, i wont feel unhappy, i wont take it against him. he has all the reason to do so and i fully understand. so when he was hurling all his !@#$$$%$#@! at me during plug setting (post call mind u) i really just let him and tried to be as gentle. then the cleaner also couldn't stand it and scolded him for me but i just kept quiet, let him continue. i prayed to God, to let me get this plug in once and for all and not add to his pain. I did it. oh well, He did it. i just finished it and left, but while throwing my sharps, i teared. am not sure why... felt adamant about his comments? nope. but definitely thankful for the Lord for helping me in my procedures. felt sad for him? maybe... but i definitely do not want the cleaner to be arguing with the patient... i mean i don't think he deserved to be treated like that, yet the cleaner was doing it for me indirectly.... he is a difficult patient but i mean when someone's potentially terminally ill, u wouldnt really want him to live his remaining days being at odds with all the nurses and ah-ma and cleaners in the ward. i know he makes unfair demands, but should we as HCWs just pay lip service to him? hmmm...
i am not sure why in just half a ward u can have 3 potentially terminally ill patients... all discovered in one day. and its abit overwhelming.
someone made the passing comment that the newsbreaker was like an "angel of death" and they laughed. yes, i couldnt believe it that i actually smiled at that joke. only to realise how wrong i was, how bad i was.. at the next moment. i am guilty for being such an impersonal HCW, just like the rest.
I don't want myself to turn impersonal but yet, at the same time i know, if i put too much emotions, it'd be real draining for me.
but oh wells.... i know i can draw strength from the Lord. When i am weak, He is strong...
post call... as usual cant sleep in broad daylight but yet cant do anything... the call was tiring but ok la i guess.... yet, another politiking thingy... wateva...
Where there are people, there will be politics, there will be interpersonal relationships to handle. For those who know me, hmmm i think deep inside me i really do not know how to handle such things. Or rather i do not like to handle such things. But i guess i just have to learn. Things are no longer as simple in school, where everyone's a student and everyone is just helping everyone, with that occasional gossip just for the fun of it.
I feel like i am learning ballet everyday. I tiptoe everyday, just to make sure i don't step on others' toes. Yet, with such a fat and clumsy ballerina like me, i am unable to keep that tiptoe and land my big fat foot heavily on others' toes. And such things tire me. And realise how important it is to have a friend or fellow colleague in the same shoes to share your thoughts, if not i think i'd become a mad ballerina.
Yes, the ballerina dances best during the solo dance, when she can just leap and fly and split without thinking of stepping on others' toes.
I thought i was used to being the odd one out in Uganda, being the "celebrity" getting all the stares and attention, when every action of yours will be scrutinised. Yet, back here, its the same. Don't like that feeling i guess. But no choice. I don't like to do things or trying to do things just to "show someone that i am capable, i can do stuff". I might have used to be like that when i was still a teen, but nah definitely not now. I just want to do my own stuff. Don't disturb me.
Am i simple or am i too complicated? Sometimes i find myself not knowing how to respond to a certain person/action. I find myself lacking a character. When i just do not know how to behave, i'd just smile in a silly manner. Or rather, i find alot of things funny that people don't find it funny and i can't control myself. All my expressions are on my face. I feel so transparent. But yups, though i can act, i have learnt more and more how to be true to myself and not act. Feel that I have been peeling off that layers and layers of covering over me during these few years.
Take for eg i went to this _____ store to buy drink with my fren. Cos my fren was paying first and i passed him some money for my drink, he wanted to pass me his 5 cents coinS. Ha so u know my usual reaction is.... "huh don't want la. they will definitely give you change then you just pass me the change" in Mandarin. Then this cashier suddenly burst out (in mandarin, towards me): "don't think i don't understand what you are talking about. I can speak chinese, malay, english, tamil" and then to prove it she said things in all the 4 official languages. Ha so you know i was at first like ??? i wasn't even talking to / about you, you're saying this. Then later the first thought that entered my mind was that (cos i was in a psy ward) could she be an escapee fr the ward? then i burst out laughing but tried to control. then she got more pissed. sigh i mean i dun mean to make anybody angry or wat but it just happens. Out of my control, when i try to be the person that i am. Ha many incidents worse / like this la. but yups i don't really care actually, but u know when u're working, things really turn out better if u are able to handle such things. u'd rather have a (N_r _E) fill in the blanks that can help u do ur stuff rather than one who'd even say durin resus "i cant do chest compressions" and just stand there, when everyone else is busy.
Well this week when i fully get involved in the care of my pt, i invested more emotions into it and yes, i end up worse.
all in one day:
1) anaemia workup ---- result: malignant gastric ulcer
2) came for gastroenteritis, +ve salmonella - did chest xray - noticed large lung lesion on upper lobe - had chronic cough, was advised years ago to do surg for lung but defaulted - +ve for Tuberculosis in sputum (more layman term la, so u all can understand) - CT scan shows multiple lesions in lung and liver. Cancer vs TB.
3) Liver nodule for biospy - hepatocellular carcinoma ie liver cancer
my reg was breaking all these bad news all within the same round. of course, he's good, he's experienced. he has done it so many times its impersonal. or rather, he sees the patients once a day during that short less-than-one-hour round he doesn't really know them. it could be the way he put it. After he said it to the patients, they were like: "uh huh..." but i wonder when the message really sets in, how will they feel. there's one that felt like nothing had happened and even loudly said bye and thanked us when he was to be transferred to another ward.
but as he broke the bad news, my heart was breaking...
1) this nice affable old man. always so tolerant to the pokes i make in his arms. always thanking us. just admitted for giddiness, had long term anaemia already, but yet...
2) this guy is mid forties, ONLY CAME IN FOR GE, so healthy and strong, so friendly, yet...
3) well this guy has the lowest pain threshold, always hurling verbal abuses at me and others cos we couldnt get that IV plug in... always... until today... last time i was abit scared cos he'd wail and wail till the whole ward can hear when i poke in that needle. now i just let him... i really dun mind, i wont feel unhappy, i wont take it against him. he has all the reason to do so and i fully understand. so when he was hurling all his !@#$$$%$#@! at me during plug setting (post call mind u) i really just let him and tried to be as gentle. then the cleaner also couldn't stand it and scolded him for me but i just kept quiet, let him continue. i prayed to God, to let me get this plug in once and for all and not add to his pain. I did it. oh well, He did it. i just finished it and left, but while throwing my sharps, i teared. am not sure why... felt adamant about his comments? nope. but definitely thankful for the Lord for helping me in my procedures. felt sad for him? maybe... but i definitely do not want the cleaner to be arguing with the patient... i mean i don't think he deserved to be treated like that, yet the cleaner was doing it for me indirectly.... he is a difficult patient but i mean when someone's potentially terminally ill, u wouldnt really want him to live his remaining days being at odds with all the nurses and ah-ma and cleaners in the ward. i know he makes unfair demands, but should we as HCWs just pay lip service to him? hmmm...
i am not sure why in just half a ward u can have 3 potentially terminally ill patients... all discovered in one day. and its abit overwhelming.
someone made the passing comment that the newsbreaker was like an "angel of death" and they laughed. yes, i couldnt believe it that i actually smiled at that joke. only to realise how wrong i was, how bad i was.. at the next moment. i am guilty for being such an impersonal HCW, just like the rest.
I don't want myself to turn impersonal but yet, at the same time i know, if i put too much emotions, it'd be real draining for me.
but oh wells.... i know i can draw strength from the Lord. When i am weak, He is strong...
post call... as usual cant sleep in broad daylight but yet cant do anything... the call was tiring but ok la i guess.... yet, another politiking thingy... wateva...
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Updates...
Coming to the 3rd of the 4 weeks of SIP (student internship programme) part I, at TTSH. Yes, definitely, i've learnt more about being a junior doctor than any time during my previous 4 yrs.
Yet, once again (same as for Uganda), to me, the highlight of these 4 wks is non-medical. I don't deny that being thrown into the wards acting as a house officer has been an immense change, have learnt stuff that i've never learnt before. BUT what has been greater is the spiritual growth that I've been having ever since i started to be able to go to church.
Breath-taking, amazing, awe-ful are just some words that can describe a small proportion of the whole experience. Nowadays, if i don't go church on sundays, there seems to be something missing from me. Due to work commitments, i'd go for saturday service, yet it doesnt feel the same.
Hmmm maybe i shouldn't call it spiritual growth / maturity yet. Cos true maturity is when the your life is transformed. When the character of Jesus manifests in us. So yes, i still do admit my transformation is kinda slow. But the spiritual experience is really amazing.
Sometimes i just have this chong1 dong4 to put down everything on my hands and hide in some corner and just read His word, spend time with Him and fellowshipping with others. Yet, i know, God does want me to pass my exams too. Final year le!
Many things i wanna do, yet little time.
New environment, new excitement, yet always half hearted attempts, especially at fellowshipping. I mean how is it possible to fellowship when once u reach home slightly later u'd b scrutinised and be asked for thousand and one explanations.
But yups, not complaining. cos I'm treasuring every moment that i can spend in church.
God's grace!
And was encouraged by a newfound fren at the sat svc. He's Ga. Ga says after 5 yrs, his parents are finally removing idols at home and more receptive to his faith. Even asked him to pray for his grandma. Encouraged!
One day... one day... i have faith that one day will come! :P
Hmmph just taking a short break from studying about syncope haha. Hope i dun syncope this wk.... night calls on tues & sat!!! well at least its better than JL. Calls on thurs then sat again. And compared to my HO who had like almost 3 calls within 1 wk, im really lucky haha but still....
haha but yups the best medicine post call is actually gg to church! Did tt for my prev 2 calls. Was more refreshed and more awakened!
drawing strength from the Lord! :P
Yet, once again (same as for Uganda), to me, the highlight of these 4 wks is non-medical. I don't deny that being thrown into the wards acting as a house officer has been an immense change, have learnt stuff that i've never learnt before. BUT what has been greater is the spiritual growth that I've been having ever since i started to be able to go to church.
Breath-taking, amazing, awe-ful are just some words that can describe a small proportion of the whole experience. Nowadays, if i don't go church on sundays, there seems to be something missing from me. Due to work commitments, i'd go for saturday service, yet it doesnt feel the same.
Hmmm maybe i shouldn't call it spiritual growth / maturity yet. Cos true maturity is when the your life is transformed. When the character of Jesus manifests in us. So yes, i still do admit my transformation is kinda slow. But the spiritual experience is really amazing.
Sometimes i just have this chong1 dong4 to put down everything on my hands and hide in some corner and just read His word, spend time with Him and fellowshipping with others. Yet, i know, God does want me to pass my exams too. Final year le!
Many things i wanna do, yet little time.
New environment, new excitement, yet always half hearted attempts, especially at fellowshipping. I mean how is it possible to fellowship when once u reach home slightly later u'd b scrutinised and be asked for thousand and one explanations.
But yups, not complaining. cos I'm treasuring every moment that i can spend in church.
God's grace!
And was encouraged by a newfound fren at the sat svc. He's Ga. Ga says after 5 yrs, his parents are finally removing idols at home and more receptive to his faith. Even asked him to pray for his grandma. Encouraged!
One day... one day... i have faith that one day will come! :P
Hmmph just taking a short break from studying about syncope haha. Hope i dun syncope this wk.... night calls on tues & sat!!! well at least its better than JL. Calls on thurs then sat again. And compared to my HO who had like almost 3 calls within 1 wk, im really lucky haha but still....
haha but yups the best medicine post call is actually gg to church! Did tt for my prev 2 calls. Was more refreshed and more awakened!
drawing strength from the Lord! :P
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Finding Faith
Some videos on this topic. Hmmm shall talk about my own story later...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnFB0vYeemY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euwgc-ZggHA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZdM6pGn7rw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9C0BI1MvDs&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUXm-nKR2DY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnFB0vYeemY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euwgc-ZggHA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZdM6pGn7rw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9C0BI1MvDs&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUXm-nKR2DY
Monday, June 30, 2008
Hmmm
ha one of the reasons why i kept this blog to myself previously cos i merely wanted something like a diary, just to write what my thoughts, my feelings are, etc. Ha but now... hmmm...
Erhm. Think quite a few people asked me what happened after my previous post. Hmmm. NOTHING HAPPENED. ha not unhappy or troubled or what. Well, guess its my English again. SiGh! SO DUN WORRY K!
was just recounting an event (erhm 3 yrs ago?) which i was really helpless, but now my prayers have been answered. So yes, it is a sweet feeling, a testimony of God working in my life. I have seen how faithful God has been. I am always amazed by God, by what He has done. I stand in awe of Him. The feeling He gives me in a Chinese phrase is: 奇妙. Miraculous! That's how it feels like. its the 'wow' feeling!
So even though i know not what challenges i'd be facing in future, i know i can trust in Him, no matter what. I am just hoping to grow in my faith, become more mature, rather than still remaining as a spiritual babe!
Someone used the word "staunch" on me. NO. I don't think you can use that to describe me. I'd feel ashamed. But yes, this word is what i'd be working towards. BUT you know, this word gives me creeps. Cos "staunch" sounds more religious - like doing things just for the sake of doing, for the sake of religion, which should not be the case. It is all about relationship with God. Not just merely a human effort in seeking Him.
Someone else used the word "filial" on me. NO. Don't think you can use that to describe me too. Whatever i try to do, i'm just doing what i think every reasonable son / daughter should do. In fact, i'm still not doing a good job. We need to honour our parents. We have to consider their feelings and perspective in every thing that we do. And I am particularly aware of that fine line that I will cross if i don't handle these delicately.
Matthew 5:16 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Was just searching for "proselytizing in hospitals" after my church friend (ha erhm i guess im more popular with the aunties still, sigh) cut out news article from "my paper" talking about evangelism in hospitals. (cos evangelising in hospitals yielded no results) Didn't manage to find the article, but came across blogs written by atheists etc. Hmmm realised (wrong word used, cos i sorta know, but gained a better understanding) that there seems to be alot of anger (yes, the comments were really foul and vulgar) triggered off by street evangelists, doctors, teachers etc who talks about their own faith, especially while working. So yes, there is a fine line which we must delicately handle, yes, if not there will only be more repulsion than anything. Definitely i don't think things like after telling a patient you have cancer one moment and then you tell them to consider Christianity the next moment is ethical. This is simply unacceptable and insensitive towards the patient lah!
It takes 2 hands to clap. If only 1 hand is used, it becomes a slap! So if you slap someone, surely that someone will become angry rite? So can understand why they are feeling like this.
One of the things I have learnt in Uganda is that you do not have to say things like this or what to people around you. Matthew 5:16 simply means that we should live a biblical life in every aspect - work, family, play - such that others can see a change / difference in us. NOT trying to "proselytize" in this aspect. And God's ministry will follow you when you do that. YUPS It's all about God, not about us. It is not "us" that converts someone but God is the one.
And it is NOT that we want to convert others that so we live a biblical life! It is all out of love, for God. It is all out of love that He sends Jesus to saves us. The big topic is really, love. It may be out of love for your patients / people around you that you might do silly things like that mentioned above. but i guess, respecting them for what and who they are is a means of love too.
So yups, all along, i try to respect others' beliefs etc so i usually will talk about it when others broach a subject or are really interested. I guess that will continue to be what I am.
Yet, sometimes when i feel that it is the Holy Spirit asking me to speak, then I will. And yes, He speaks through me. He speaks through people. (erhms no this is not getting possessed or what, so ppl, pls dun get the wrong idea and get scared of me haha different different. oops dun wanna yue4 miao2 yue4 hei1. wateva...)
anyway, this post is just a comment... Nth much. hope i really have not offended many people by saying so much. sorry sorry k.
:P
well as you can see, when i try to put all my thoughts quickly down in writing it becomes an unorganised piece of crap like this. haha oh wells. hope i didnt confuse anyone.
bleah.
Erhm. Think quite a few people asked me what happened after my previous post. Hmmm. NOTHING HAPPENED. ha not unhappy or troubled or what. Well, guess its my English again. SiGh! SO DUN WORRY K!
was just recounting an event (erhm 3 yrs ago?) which i was really helpless, but now my prayers have been answered. So yes, it is a sweet feeling, a testimony of God working in my life. I have seen how faithful God has been. I am always amazed by God, by what He has done. I stand in awe of Him. The feeling He gives me in a Chinese phrase is: 奇妙. Miraculous! That's how it feels like. its the 'wow' feeling!
So even though i know not what challenges i'd be facing in future, i know i can trust in Him, no matter what. I am just hoping to grow in my faith, become more mature, rather than still remaining as a spiritual babe!
Someone used the word "staunch" on me. NO. I don't think you can use that to describe me. I'd feel ashamed. But yes, this word is what i'd be working towards. BUT you know, this word gives me creeps. Cos "staunch" sounds more religious - like doing things just for the sake of doing, for the sake of religion, which should not be the case. It is all about relationship with God. Not just merely a human effort in seeking Him.
Someone else used the word "filial" on me. NO. Don't think you can use that to describe me too. Whatever i try to do, i'm just doing what i think every reasonable son / daughter should do. In fact, i'm still not doing a good job. We need to honour our parents. We have to consider their feelings and perspective in every thing that we do. And I am particularly aware of that fine line that I will cross if i don't handle these delicately.
Matthew 5:16 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Was just searching for "proselytizing in hospitals" after my church friend (ha erhm i guess im more popular with the aunties still, sigh) cut out news article from "my paper" talking about evangelism in hospitals. (cos evangelising in hospitals yielded no results) Didn't manage to find the article, but came across blogs written by atheists etc. Hmmm realised (wrong word used, cos i sorta know, but gained a better understanding) that there seems to be alot of anger (yes, the comments were really foul and vulgar) triggered off by street evangelists, doctors, teachers etc who talks about their own faith, especially while working. So yes, there is a fine line which we must delicately handle, yes, if not there will only be more repulsion than anything. Definitely i don't think things like after telling a patient you have cancer one moment and then you tell them to consider Christianity the next moment is ethical. This is simply unacceptable and insensitive towards the patient lah!
It takes 2 hands to clap. If only 1 hand is used, it becomes a slap! So if you slap someone, surely that someone will become angry rite? So can understand why they are feeling like this.
One of the things I have learnt in Uganda is that you do not have to say things like this or what to people around you. Matthew 5:16 simply means that we should live a biblical life in every aspect - work, family, play - such that others can see a change / difference in us. NOT trying to "proselytize" in this aspect. And God's ministry will follow you when you do that. YUPS It's all about God, not about us. It is not "us" that converts someone but God is the one.
And it is NOT that we want to convert others that so we live a biblical life! It is all out of love, for God. It is all out of love that He sends Jesus to saves us. The big topic is really, love. It may be out of love for your patients / people around you that you might do silly things like that mentioned above. but i guess, respecting them for what and who they are is a means of love too.
So yups, all along, i try to respect others' beliefs etc so i usually will talk about it when others broach a subject or are really interested. I guess that will continue to be what I am.
Yet, sometimes when i feel that it is the Holy Spirit asking me to speak, then I will. And yes, He speaks through me. He speaks through people. (erhms no this is not getting possessed or what, so ppl, pls dun get the wrong idea and get scared of me haha different different. oops dun wanna yue4 miao2 yue4 hei1. wateva...)
anyway, this post is just a comment... Nth much. hope i really have not offended many people by saying so much. sorry sorry k.
:P
well as you can see, when i try to put all my thoughts quickly down in writing it becomes an unorganised piece of crap like this. haha oh wells. hope i didnt confuse anyone.
bleah.
Friday, June 27, 2008
I can still remember that day. I was helpless. My heart just sank. It just felt terrible, terrible, terrible. When what's up against you are the dearest people around you. I felt trapped. I was heartbroken. I cried. I cried to the Lord...
Today, I listened to this song. Memories of that day came up. Yet, the feeling today... is sweet...
Casting crowns always have a way of touching the chord in my heart...
I reflected upon that day. Today, i can only say... GOD IS FAITHFUL! It is times like this that you render yourself completely to Him, am awed by Him.
And I know there are many out there who has prayed for me. Thank you all.
All throughout these years, God has sent many people to pull me along...
Casting crowns has another song, which fully describes what I am feeling right now. I just want to live a life worthy of Him.
I know not what lies ahead. This year and beyond. But it is during such times of reflection that one is reminded of the simple fact. God is in control. (And yes, there is another by this title too! Love it! Think i've posted the lyrics before.)
All in all, :P
Today, I listened to this song. Memories of that day came up. Yet, the feeling today... is sweet...
_________________________________________________________________________
Praise You in this Storm
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
___________________________________________________________________
Praise You in this Storm
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
___________________________________________________________________
Casting crowns always have a way of touching the chord in my heart...
I reflected upon that day. Today, i can only say... GOD IS FAITHFUL! It is times like this that you render yourself completely to Him, am awed by Him.
And I know there are many out there who has prayed for me. Thank you all.
All throughout these years, God has sent many people to pull me along...
Casting crowns has another song, which fully describes what I am feeling right now. I just want to live a life worthy of Him.
____________________________________________________________________
Lifesong
Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight
May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name to the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
Lord I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet
So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
____________________________________________________________________
I know not what lies ahead. This year and beyond. But it is during such times of reflection that one is reminded of the simple fact. God is in control. (And yes, there is another by this title too! Love it! Think i've posted the lyrics before.)
All in all, :P
Thursday, June 26, 2008
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Time to give myself a hard knock...
Wake up!
KNOCK 1
I read through my previous posts. Realized how my English has deteriorated, how it has morphed to Singlish, even when i write. Fortunately there are no "General Paper" Exams in University. Given this standard of English I am having now, I will not be surprised that the tutor marking my scrip will not understand what I am writing! Sigh.
KNOCK 2
I desperately need to "wake up my idea" (yes, one of the famous army phrase. Typical Singlish.) I need to really get serious and study harder, study faster! Final Year already! Go off, television! Run away from me, computer games! Mr Sloth, roll into the sea! Mr Smarty, I need you!!!!!
KNOCK 3
Of late, my strabismus is acting up... Spending too much time in front of the computer? Wrong lens? Tired from studying? I better knock that eye back, before it rolls away. Like Master, like eye. Both are lazy.
FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!
Wake up!
KNOCK 1
I read through my previous posts. Realized how my English has deteriorated, how it has morphed to Singlish, even when i write. Fortunately there are no "General Paper" Exams in University. Given this standard of English I am having now, I will not be surprised that the tutor marking my scrip will not understand what I am writing! Sigh.
KNOCK 2
I desperately need to "wake up my idea" (yes, one of the famous army phrase. Typical Singlish.) I need to really get serious and study harder, study faster! Final Year already! Go off, television! Run away from me, computer games! Mr Sloth, roll into the sea! Mr Smarty, I need you!!!!!
KNOCK 3
Of late, my strabismus is acting up... Spending too much time in front of the computer? Wrong lens? Tired from studying? I better knock that eye back, before it rolls away. Like Master, like eye. Both are lazy.
FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Amazed
Why are there 4 gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John) in the bible? Each of them talks about similar things, yet each of them are different. Shall not go into the details of how each of these are different, but just want to share what I have learnt.
"Gospel" comes from Anglo-Saxon words "god" meaning good and "spell" meaning tidings or history. So all 4 talks about the life of Jesus. Yet all 4 have a different focus.
In Matthew, He is portrayed as the King.
In Mark, He is portrayed as the servant.
In Luke, He is portrayed as the Son of Man, a perfect Man
In John, He is portrayed as the Son of God.
In the same way, the prophets have described Him, before His coming:
King – Psalm 72, Isaiah 9:6-7; 32:1; Jeremiah 23:5; Zechariah 9:9, 14:9
Servant of Jehovah: Isaiah 42:1-7; 52:13-15; 53.
Man, Son of Man: Genesis 3:15, 22:18, Isaiah 7:14-16; 9:6
God: Isaiah 9:6; 40:3-5, 47:4; Jeremiah 23:6
The 4 gospels were written at different times, but different people. Yet, it is amazing how each of them wrote with a different focus of Jesus and non repeating but in the exact same 4 ways He has been described by the prophets. Hmmm coincidence? I don't think so. In mathematical terms, the probability of that is o.25^4, giving us 0.39% chance. Ha still many people will think this is still quite a large probability.
Haha but anyway, just a trivia. Went to search on when the gospels were written. Sieved through many long essays, but managed to find a summary in the end: Matthew about 36; Mark about 40; Luke about 54; John about 93 AD Ha interesting! Other sources mention other years. Anyway, if anyone's interested in reading something about the gospels, go to http://www.ichthus.info/CaseForChrist/01/intro.html its quite a short but interesting read.. for time-pressed people like me!
Ever so amazed by God!
:P
P/S: (anyway, i know of people out there who'd not agree to what i've just written but i have to claim that all these are but my own opinion! No malice intended to anyone!)
"Gospel" comes from Anglo-Saxon words "god" meaning good and "spell" meaning tidings or history. So all 4 talks about the life of Jesus. Yet all 4 have a different focus.
In Matthew, He is portrayed as the King.
In Mark, He is portrayed as the servant.
In Luke, He is portrayed as the Son of Man, a perfect Man
In John, He is portrayed as the Son of God.
In the same way, the prophets have described Him, before His coming:
King – Psalm 72, Isaiah 9:6-7; 32:1; Jeremiah 23:5; Zechariah 9:9, 14:9
Servant of Jehovah: Isaiah 42:1-7; 52:13-15; 53.
Man, Son of Man: Genesis 3:15, 22:18, Isaiah 7:14-16; 9:6
God: Isaiah 9:6; 40:3-5, 47:4; Jeremiah 23:6
The 4 gospels were written at different times, but different people. Yet, it is amazing how each of them wrote with a different focus of Jesus and non repeating but in the exact same 4 ways He has been described by the prophets. Hmmm coincidence? I don't think so. In mathematical terms, the probability of that is o.25^4, giving us 0.39% chance. Ha still many people will think this is still quite a large probability.
Haha but anyway, just a trivia. Went to search on when the gospels were written. Sieved through many long essays, but managed to find a summary in the end: Matthew about 36; Mark about 40; Luke about 54; John about 93 AD Ha interesting! Other sources mention other years. Anyway, if anyone's interested in reading something about the gospels, go to http://www.ichthus.info/CaseForChrist/01/intro.html its quite a short but interesting read.. for time-pressed people like me!
Ever so amazed by God!
:P
P/S: (anyway, i know of people out there who'd not agree to what i've just written but i have to claim that all these are but my own opinion! No malice intended to anyone!)
Saturday, May 24, 2008
10th - one more photo
oh my one more photo! which i like very much! thanks to JL! this is evidence of us sitting on the boda boda to Kasubi tombs. ha 3 of us on a motorbike. interesting hahaha yups but you have to pay for 2 people la! heh not one
oh anw just read JL's blog and found tt my english is so bad! at least for these hurried posts. just rattle off my mind. not writing composition heh. So yups. for a better blog entries on Uganda adventure, go to her blog heh
oh anw just read JL's blog and found tt my english is so bad! at least for these hurried posts. just rattle off my mind. not writing composition heh. So yups. for a better blog entries on Uganda adventure, go to her blog heh
10th - Photos of Outreach
The boatman. ha nice photo rite! He's real steady la, can walk from the front of the boat to the back just by balancing on the edge. No handles nothing la!
This is the boat that we boarded. hahhaha. really looks like sampan type rite. er but perhaps cant see very well but yes, this is already at the village, when we're going back le.
On board the boat.... heh behind me is the korean pastor and im sitting with the korean elder... hahahha the way he behaves everything is just like the Typical Korean man on tv!!!! my tv drama come alive. cham suddenly there's a korean wave in me hahaha they're really nice and very cute!
this was taken on our way back. The pastor wanted to take me with the sunset. but yups, wasn't successful la but nvm still nice hahaha
and yups this is the sunset. really nice rite? haha not postcard ok, i took this! there's the korean elder's hair at the right bottom corner hahaha. am proud of this photo! and yes i love the sunset. first time see sunset in africa haha so nice!!!
And here's me emulating the scarecrow amid the maize plantation. Ha erhm didnt get to take the photo of the real scarecrow which they put up.
and these are the maize plants
then this is the village. hahaha this is REAL not the fake ones we took at the museum...
and the village houses... ha dun mind living there ne!
and here's the health centre. and all of us, except the korean pastor, who is taking the photo.
we had lunch first before even working. here's the korean meal prepared by the korean elder! KIMCHI!!! ha didnt know he can cook... cos all the ones in the show all dun cook hahahaha and his Lugandan is so powerful! can crack jokes in Luganda... only cant communicate with me in English :( minimal la
and here's the 3 of them from left to right. Elder, pastor, Dr L. They're real nice ppl real glad to have gotten to know them.
Waterfront housing... in the developed world, people pay to live like that. Here, they have everything. ha was on the boat with this US paramedical lady, the pastor offered her sushi and she commented that in US, people pay to eat and enjoy the view on the lake, and here she's eating and having panoramic view and its free! ha you gain some you lose some isnt it?
And here's the view from the boat of the hilly areas surrounding lake victoria. Lake victoria is so big! hahaha there's bilharzia in lake victoria!!!!! haha otherwise i would have jumped into the clean and cool water!
haha and now ending off my photo post with the korean boy! so cute! heh he's 2 plus going to 3 this year. he really loves to play and he is really hyperactive! ha but dun tink is ADHD hahaha kk
so are the photos nice? do feedback! ha may not be posting much more... see if have time cos we'd be on the go from monday onwards! hehehe exciting weekS ahead hahahaha take care folks, am enjoying myself!
This is the boat that we boarded. hahhaha. really looks like sampan type rite. er but perhaps cant see very well but yes, this is already at the village, when we're going back le.
On board the boat.... heh behind me is the korean pastor and im sitting with the korean elder... hahahha the way he behaves everything is just like the Typical Korean man on tv!!!! my tv drama come alive. cham suddenly there's a korean wave in me hahaha they're really nice and very cute!
this was taken on our way back. The pastor wanted to take me with the sunset. but yups, wasn't successful la but nvm still nice hahaha
and yups this is the sunset. really nice rite? haha not postcard ok, i took this! there's the korean elder's hair at the right bottom corner hahaha. am proud of this photo! and yes i love the sunset. first time see sunset in africa haha so nice!!!
And here's me emulating the scarecrow amid the maize plantation. Ha erhm didnt get to take the photo of the real scarecrow which they put up.
and these are the maize plants
then this is the village. hahaha this is REAL not the fake ones we took at the museum...
and the village houses... ha dun mind living there ne!
and here's the health centre. and all of us, except the korean pastor, who is taking the photo.
we had lunch first before even working. here's the korean meal prepared by the korean elder! KIMCHI!!! ha didnt know he can cook... cos all the ones in the show all dun cook hahahaha and his Lugandan is so powerful! can crack jokes in Luganda... only cant communicate with me in English :( minimal la
and here's the 3 of them from left to right. Elder, pastor, Dr L. They're real nice ppl real glad to have gotten to know them.
Waterfront housing... in the developed world, people pay to live like that. Here, they have everything. ha was on the boat with this US paramedical lady, the pastor offered her sushi and she commented that in US, people pay to eat and enjoy the view on the lake, and here she's eating and having panoramic view and its free! ha you gain some you lose some isnt it?
And here's the view from the boat of the hilly areas surrounding lake victoria. Lake victoria is so big! hahaha there's bilharzia in lake victoria!!!!! haha otherwise i would have jumped into the clean and cool water!
haha and now ending off my photo post with the korean boy! so cute! heh he's 2 plus going to 3 this year. he really loves to play and he is really hyperactive! ha but dun tink is ADHD hahaha kk
so are the photos nice? do feedback! ha may not be posting much more... see if have time cos we'd be on the go from monday onwards! hehehe exciting weekS ahead hahahaha take care folks, am enjoying myself!
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