Starting All Over

Hmmm the past few months have been eventful - done many things, met many people, had many postings, but yet the most significant and dear to me is of course about God.

Was thrown into confusion once, and backslided yet again... However, it dawned upon me what little faith I had. Watched the DVD "Faith like Potatoes" and was totally blown away by the faith of Augus, a real missionary in Africa...

I was confused previously, for I encountered some parts of my life and I felt that I could not hear, see or feel Him, His presence, which was previously there, now began to be seem eluded... I realised, through people around me and the things I have heard or seen, that the timing was probably not right, and it was not His will yet. So I have to be patient.

Even though I cannot see, feel or hear Him right now - I have heard Him in the past. And I cannot deny His presence, for He has done so many things in the world, so many miracles, touched so many lives... I simply cannot deny His presence, for He is real, He is the truth. So even though now I don't see or hear Him, does not mean He is not there. It is a period of time for Him to stay silent. NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL STAY CLOSE TO HIM, I WILL CONTINUE PRAYING, I WILL CONTINUE READING HIS WORD. This is perhaps, a test of faith, so I will persevere... Faith is probably believing even though you do not see or hear Him physically, cos I know He is the way, the truth and the life...

Started reading the Bible from all over again! And came across the following in the book What the Bible is All About - Bible Handbook by Dr Henrietta C. Mears. I am amazed... through so many years of reading the Bible I didnt (well i sorta did but never saw it so crystal clear) that all the books made up one big story which is all linked in such an amazingly clear manner when u look at it from a broad perspective (yes, usually we read snippets of it... this verse and that chapter and hope to get some wisdom) and everything is linked so beautifully! The Word of God

Yups so the following is my "notes" haha copyright k.
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Bible facts:

(this section has been removed, for the formatting has gone warped and i dunno how to fix it!)

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That's all from me for now!!!!! :P

The greatest of these is LOVE

No matter what we're doing, no matter how busy we are, no matter how we feel, we must never, never forget to show love. We must not wait until it's too late. Let us tell someone that we love them; we dare not wait for life to pass us by. Let us get on with it; let us enjoy life to the fullest.

That is what God told me many days ago, but it was not until now did I truly reflect upon it... I was too taken up by school, by all the test and all the memorising... Many a time i wanted to find my friends, contact them by email (especially those overseas), chat with them, meet up with them, but it was always put off by one word: LATER.

This word did change after I heard that an ex-schoolmate committed suicide... the feeling was one like "so near yet so far"; i began to be more concerned with my friend who had some problems, sent many smses and so on... but yet, still i know, i know that my life was primarily revolving school, mugging and more mugging.

N yes, today I took my test, and realised that all those mugging (well it did help) was meaningless. only had one effect, which was to pass... and after that no other benefits... It was during this period when I had one week of fever coupled with the impending workload and tests that made me feel "burnt-out" and how meaningless all those were, that I have actually given up many other precious relationships through all these mugging...

I really don't think it is worth it... yes... tt's y i sorta decided that probably i might not be a paediatrician after all... probably a less stressful and less exams route of a GP might be what I really want, so that I can do much more... serving God, catching up with friends and not caught up with endless climbing of a specialist... Even when one becomes a consultant, he might not have a better time... so why sacrifice so many years for something that seems much less fruitful?

Food for thought...

Just what I'm feeling right now

n yes, I want to thank God for being with me throughout this period. I'm not sure why I felt so stressed. n yups to all those friends who put up with my ramblings these few days, thanks! N yes, it is when we are weak do we see God's strength...

N to all those friends whom I have neglected, really really sorry... I want to make it up I want to meet up with all of you!!!!

The greatest thing of all in this world, is LOVE. yes, express your love to all the people around you starting today! do not wait till it is too late!!!!

Take a Little Time Off

Many people gasp at the breath-taking scenery they see when they are abroad; many exclaim the wonders of nature when they visit other places with forests or mountains they have never seen before. Yet, many do not realise that we are experiencing the wonders of nature everyday.

Have you ever stopped and look at the clouds in the midst of your mundane walk home and admire the beautiful pictures formed? Have you ever looked at the trees near your home sway in the breeze and have a sense of peace within you? Have you ever looked at the wonderful creation surrounding us everyday?

The answer most people have is no.

But yes, I have done all that, today.

I looked up to the sky and realised that beauty of the numerous fluffy white and grey clouds. Each time you look at the sky, it paints a different picture for you. The trails of a fighter plane, the figures of two people or even little dogs running across... each have a different story to tell. Such is the beauty of God's creation!

I stared at the angsana tree. It swayed slowly in the breeze, with some flowers at the tip. The rustle of the leaves sing a melodious song of peace. Such is the beauty of God's creation.

Even though the trees are planted by men deliberately in straight rows along the road, even though many buildings line the world we live in now, yet, if we spend time looking at snippets of nature sprouting through concrete land, we can see that no matter how much humans try to create their own world, we can never deny God's wonderful creation of the world.

Appreciation of His creation does not need to be a trip to the Niagara Falls or the Grand Canyon.
It can merely be taking time off our busy schedules and looking around us. We can find all the wonder that we can ever imagine...

In fact, our breathing, our lights and every other thing that is needed to create the man-made world stems from only one - God.

I have started on my journey in experiencing Him all over again and i am reminded of how much I have forgotten the things that He has done for me. Time and again, I forsake my Creator, I turn away, I forget, but never once will He leave me alone.

How about you? Are you avoiding Him today?

He only wants to have a friendship with all of us. As simple as that. So try to get acquianted with Him!

一感而发

已许久没用华文。还记得以前中学时代，时常用中文抒发感情、想法。毕竟，一字涵数意--有时唯有“知音人”才能参透其中含义。

也因为这样，中文退步，英文裹足不前，变得两头不到岸。这。。。也许就是我生命中的写照：什么都两头不到岸。

也已许久没上博克。久了，读者淡忘这博克的存在，而我，又得回自己需要的私人空间。 喜欢这种在广阔的互联网上有个曝露中带私隐的空间。也许就是这样，人们才能在博克上畅所欲言。

想了很多，一切能以两字形容：单累。

今天与好朋友谈天，往事一涌而上。忽然发现自己以遗忘了那么多。也非常想念当初那单纯、赤心的日子。但，一切不堪回首。遗憾。曾畅谈无束、知心解灵的朋友，在光阴下，变成无言的对象。只能说：你还好吗? 并只是互相述自己的境况。只能长叹了。

有个好朋友说了那么一句：你是非常独立的那种，所以应该不要紧！这句话，让我想起了许多。事实如何，只有我知道。

伪装，似乎是一首主题曲。而配合这首曲子的插曲便是封闭。不知曾几何时，有了这主题曲，也因而越唱越起劲。开始是为自保，用这曲的旋律抵挡外来刺痛的杂音。犹如蛋黄蛋壳般：插曲叠了一层又一层。一切变得模糊。最后，以卵击石也成假象。石头都列了。

久了，这卵只想回到巢中。累了。但，这卵以变。巢中多了一粒石头。蛋黄也已不能流出那厚厚的壳。刺痛。

除此，也了解三人行必有一失的道理。一人一心，不能一心二用。这非常简单的道理，是在许多场合都看到，不只在情感上。也因为封闭，所以发觉第三者大多是俺。

也了解唱不同主题曲的人，频率无法一致，无论付出多少努力，最后还是以累收场。

单、累。