Each and every day i'm trying. Not too bad, but there is definitely room for improvement. It has been on my mind for some time. How to juggle my time, how not to let the busy-ness get into me and how to spend each and everyday with Him and not get sucked into the cycle of meeting Him only on weekends.
It is tough. He did not promise it will be easy. And it is tougher that every action of yours will be scrutinised, that every action will be matched up to a preconceived standard. Yet this perspective is new and definitely helps change me. Just the imagery of Jesus sitting beside me and listening to what I say in my every day life is really strong. I become more aware of myself, of how I'm conducting myself and it is almost like a constant reminder to live a life glorifying Him and not of the flesh.
Someone asked - is there free will in Christianity. Yes, there is. He gave us the option to choose to accept Him or not. Yet, for all that He has done for me, I am willing to give up my freedom and submit to His ways. Its like when you're in a relationship with someone, you'd just give up certain things, all out of love. Therefore, I am trying to change.
I am not perfect. Please do correct me anytime. i need correction.
Think through...
efficiency efficiency. i need lots of that.
anw had a great sharing today. just feel so different but i guess cos we're all nearly the same age we can clique and understand each others' struggles. Actually i've come to a point of forgetting their ages ha
had a talk with someone. just felt that to understand fully what to do in future, the purpose of your life, the crux is to find out the truth and then you can fix the other stuff.
like when i was in yr 1, i struggled with my purpose, my being; was not even sure if what i was doing what i was believing in is real. Yet i know if i didnt find out, no matter how stressed by the exams was, i couldnt continue on with my life, with living. Cos living will be so meaningless. I knew myself. I'm that kinda of person that will not rest till i make sense of something bothering me. So i'd never be at peace if i didnt find out the truth. The truth might not be as it turns out to be, or i hoped to be, but i knew at that point of time, i needed an answer to carry on with living. And yes, i am glad i found the answer.
It doesn't really matter what answer you get, but i guess we cannot just stay in a state that we just be through each and every day not being fully sure of what we are doing, what our purpose is. Mindless pursuits are just so ridiculous. You have to know where you're heading to, to have a stand. Even if you may not be right i guess.
And yes, i fully agree with my friend. Every moment, every second in life can never be repeated. And we may think we might meet the person again, yet you might never know. And the sphere of people that we each meet are different so it makes us all unique in a sense and no one can fulfill that niche of speaking to others other than you. For example, i guess im the only one who knows person A in that place where person B brought me to and person B doesn't even know person A. i mean all these links are so complex and so intriguing. It is a wonder how each of us are connected, how the way we're connected with other people is also unique.
And we will never know what happens the next day. We dunno if we'd wake up to another day. So live each day as it is the only chance for you to do something. Only then do we appreciate the opportunities we have, the people we meet and to speak to them.
Someone posted me this question. Thought it was really interesting. I have my answer, but have you gotten yours? The question's like this: when you die, and you were to see someone standing in front of you, how confident you are of who He is? will it be the god you worship, or are you not even sure of it? For me the answer is clear. I am very confident that when I die, i'd meet God. no doubts about that.
basically the question is: what is the truth?
The truth may hurt now, but do not let it hurt you forever. seek the truth, do not avoid.
There can only be but one truth. An apple will always be an apple no matter how you call it. it can appear as different forms but there is only one fruit that is an apple. you can have a fruit that looks similar eg nectarine but it'd never be an apple.
There can never be multiple truths cos if there is multiple, it isn't a truth anymore. By definition of Oxford dictionary, true = in accordance with fact or reality / genuine / exact / accurate. So with such precision, there can only be one truth.
Teachers' day today. wow. i guess it not only celebrates the contribution by the school teachers. I guess everyone can be a teacher, if we so want - in different aspects of life. And yes, this day is the start of a month of prayer.
salvation. Hmmm interesting note here. what is salvation in Christianity? will you go to heaven just because you are "christian" or so called accepted Christ? Accepting Christ is but just a belief that there is Christ, and you wants Him to come into your life. that is just the beginning. Yet do you go to heaven just because of this? no. not really. satan knows God, he fears and trembles at His name, but is he saved just because he believed? NO NO NO! It is how you live your life. satan knows that there is a God. but he does not live a Christ-like life. he is only out to destroy. So for anyone who thinks that you're saved just cos you are a Christian, it is absolutely not true. If you do not repent of your ways, do not change and continue to sin, then you're no different from satan and his angels.
And definitely, there can be no human effort to reach Him. there has to be His grace.
Keeping my eyes fixed on Him! And tarry not, there is no time to waste!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
MEDAL FOR SINGAPORE!!!! TABLE TENNIS ROX
Ha well other nations have it easy. They can almost predict whether they can get the next gold medal. (think: P-H-E-L-P-S ha) But for Singapore, its been a wait for 48 years! I watched the match. Yes, it was nearly 4 hours long, so much so that they had to shorten the time and limit the number of strokes by each player in the last game. But yet under such pressure, our dear Feng Tianwei had nerves of steel and battled on valiantly. Ha and the doubles was good too! i mean before that they say we've never beaten the Korean doubles, but now we actually won! Woo hoo! Well done ne!
If you look at all the statistics etc, you'd have predicted that Singapore could win. After all, we are seeded second. Yet, i guess for a nation who's never gotten so near to the podium in nearly half a century, if u're the ones representing the nation, you'd too have dropped ranking from 1 to 100. I mean like so much pressure so much expectations how to stay calm right? At least for me, the non participant, i just could not sit still. i was shouting, cheering, clapping, booing, banging hands and legs, jumping around at each stroke of the tie breaking match between Feng and Park. Oh man. I told me fren that my heart just came out lah! So yups, here's the moment to savour:
and this being just after National Day sounds so apt.
And i was very emotional after they won. Nearly had tears of joy. ha But can you imagine if you're them?
HA finally, please do remember to tune in to Channel U at 7.30pm on Sunday for the finals against China!
Sidenote: i really wonder how PM Lee can deliver his national day speech on sunday when our nation's on our way to try get a GOLD! Oh man, think no one will be watching his speech lor, and those in the auditorium will be wanting to leave. For all you know halfway during his speech they'd screen updates ha. Ha i tink PM Lee also can't concentrate leh! Even Mr Teo Chee Hean was in Beijing today to support them lah!
For me, i guess the silver is good enough. *contented* But you know, as humans we're all greedy. Once you have the silver, you'd want the gold. ha. If there is this slight chance, we'd still wish for a GOLD, no matter how strong China team seems.
me in great anticipation... cham think will be thinking of the finals the whole weekend!
WELL DONE SINGAPORE! WELL DONE LI JIAWEI, WANG YUEGU, FENG TIAN WEI. You gals rox!
P/S: Why aren't these people working?
cos its the olympics!
... and people aren't studying too!
like me! MUHAHAHA
tata
If you look at all the statistics etc, you'd have predicted that Singapore could win. After all, we are seeded second. Yet, i guess for a nation who's never gotten so near to the podium in nearly half a century, if u're the ones representing the nation, you'd too have dropped ranking from 1 to 100. I mean like so much pressure so much expectations how to stay calm right? At least for me, the non participant, i just could not sit still. i was shouting, cheering, clapping, booing, banging hands and legs, jumping around at each stroke of the tie breaking match between Feng and Park. Oh man. I told me fren that my heart just came out lah! So yups, here's the moment to savour:
and this being just after National Day sounds so apt.
And i was very emotional after they won. Nearly had tears of joy. ha But can you imagine if you're them?
HA finally, please do remember to tune in to Channel U at 7.30pm on Sunday for the finals against China!
Sidenote: i really wonder how PM Lee can deliver his national day speech on sunday when our nation's on our way to try get a GOLD! Oh man, think no one will be watching his speech lor, and those in the auditorium will be wanting to leave. For all you know halfway during his speech they'd screen updates ha. Ha i tink PM Lee also can't concentrate leh! Even Mr Teo Chee Hean was in Beijing today to support them lah!
For me, i guess the silver is good enough. *contented* But you know, as humans we're all greedy. Once you have the silver, you'd want the gold. ha. If there is this slight chance, we'd still wish for a GOLD, no matter how strong China team seems.
me in great anticipation... cham think will be thinking of the finals the whole weekend!
WELL DONE SINGAPORE! WELL DONE LI JIAWEI, WANG YUEGU, FENG TIAN WEI. You gals rox!
P/S: Why aren't these people working?
cos its the olympics!
... and people aren't studying too!
like me! MUHAHAHA
tata
Friday, August 15, 2008
My dear feedback
RRRRRrrrrr
Ok but yeah, now im physically filling up the feedback forms in the hospital. Our dear university has downgraded itself in terms of technology. I can fully understand why they're doing this, but I just need to complain... for a while.
The feedback forms for our tutors used to be online. So we just have to gain access to the internet and then we just click click click and we're done. But ya, students being students, they always ignore what the administration tells them to do. So the feedback rate is as low as 20% in some rotations. As feedback is so important in judging the *&^^%#&*%($$ given to the hospitals, they need a high feedback rate. So to ensure that all of us do it, they've downgraded the whole system of feedback to the paper system again. so all of us have to use our pen and fill up SHEETS of feedback forms. Waste ink, waste paper, waste time. Seriously, i type faster than i write lah!
Sigh...
just some complaints....
but oh wells on the brighter note. TABLE TENNIS WOMENS SEMIFINALS SINGAPORE VS SOUTH KOREA!!!! coming up. i hope they win
Ok but yeah, now im physically filling up the feedback forms in the hospital. Our dear university has downgraded itself in terms of technology. I can fully understand why they're doing this, but I just need to complain... for a while.
The feedback forms for our tutors used to be online. So we just have to gain access to the internet and then we just click click click and we're done. But ya, students being students, they always ignore what the administration tells them to do. So the feedback rate is as low as 20% in some rotations. As feedback is so important in judging the *&^^%#&*%($$ given to the hospitals, they need a high feedback rate. So to ensure that all of us do it, they've downgraded the whole system of feedback to the paper system again. so all of us have to use our pen and fill up SHEETS of feedback forms. Waste ink, waste paper, waste time. Seriously, i type faster than i write lah!
Sigh...
just some complaints....
but oh wells on the brighter note. TABLE TENNIS WOMENS SEMIFINALS SINGAPORE VS SOUTH KOREA!!!! coming up. i hope they win
Tough, Sombre but True.
The title suggests it. These videos are titled "the immoral generation"
Part1
Part 2
Well, Just felt that we should all reflect upon these issues and not leave it hanging. Face it, not avoid it, and change.
Part1
Part 2
Well, Just felt that we should all reflect upon these issues and not leave it hanging. Face it, not avoid it, and change.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Breaking the walls of my Igloo and walk right into the cold, bringing the only warmth - LOVE - to the unknown snow capped land
I have never been so impressed. She has really opened my eyes to many things which I have not seen or thought about before. As what V would say, "You have really challenged me." I have never seen that kind of love radiating out from somebody. I have never seen that kind of expressivity, that kind of love and concern, emulating that perfect love of the Lord.
I find myself pale in comparison. Now I find my own ideals and purpose put to shame.
Face it, boy! You have always been dreaming, been a dreamer, just thinking about things but never really doing it. Or rather, you have always not been able to walk out of that box. At most, you have only walked to the door, facing the world outside briefly and returning back to your box.
It is time to wake up and inject some energy and enthusiasm in my life! I have been stagnant for so long. In fact at times, the water has flowed back from where it started.
I am not so high and mighty. I am only a small fry. Yet, not matter how small a fry I am, as long as I don upon the love of the Lord, people will be touched.
I realised that how un-expressive I am. I find it difficult to express my feelings, to show my concern, to verbalise the real thoughts I have inside. It is always suppressed. I may seem like a joyful, loud person, but I am only an empty vessel. I make the most noise over small things which I have done. Yet I come to realise, that I should learn to be less noisy and fill up my vessel. But now I know, how it is to express concern, how to make your thoughts into action.
I must say I am really impressed.
I guess I have always put a wall around myself. This wall is built up through years of experience in this world. The wall was set up to protect myself - from cheats, etc - so that if anyone wanted to, they could not hurt me.
Yet it is time for me to break down this thick wall. I have seen how this wall has stopped me short of reaching out to others, to showing my genuine concern. I have seen how someone who's not afraid of being cheated, being taken advantage of, can touch many others.
All the things I have thought of and wanted to do, but not done - W did it. I always tell myself "one day... one day i'd do it... now the circumstances do not allow it... my *** will do *** etc etc... the time will come..." but I have realised two things. One, the famous saying: "time and tide waits for no man." Two, be proactive and lift your butt off the seat and get things done! No use talking!
And yes, I often wonder why do others have so much time, yet I seem to always be struggling with time. I really need some planning. I really need to make myself more efficient.
Mark my words. No matter how tongue tied I am, how uncomfortable i get when talking to others, showing my general concern, I will try.
Shall see where He leads me. Revelation in the process...
I will try to love as how God loved us. I cannot love every single one in the world. But He can. And I will try... May Your love flow through me!
I have wasted another day. But i shall waste it no more... There is so much to be done, yet the workers are few.
I will work hard in breaking this wall!
I find myself pale in comparison. Now I find my own ideals and purpose put to shame.
Face it, boy! You have always been dreaming, been a dreamer, just thinking about things but never really doing it. Or rather, you have always not been able to walk out of that box. At most, you have only walked to the door, facing the world outside briefly and returning back to your box.
It is time to wake up and inject some energy and enthusiasm in my life! I have been stagnant for so long. In fact at times, the water has flowed back from where it started.
I am not so high and mighty. I am only a small fry. Yet, not matter how small a fry I am, as long as I don upon the love of the Lord, people will be touched.
I realised that how un-expressive I am. I find it difficult to express my feelings, to show my concern, to verbalise the real thoughts I have inside. It is always suppressed. I may seem like a joyful, loud person, but I am only an empty vessel. I make the most noise over small things which I have done. Yet I come to realise, that I should learn to be less noisy and fill up my vessel. But now I know, how it is to express concern, how to make your thoughts into action.
I must say I am really impressed.
I guess I have always put a wall around myself. This wall is built up through years of experience in this world. The wall was set up to protect myself - from cheats, etc - so that if anyone wanted to, they could not hurt me.
Yet it is time for me to break down this thick wall. I have seen how this wall has stopped me short of reaching out to others, to showing my genuine concern. I have seen how someone who's not afraid of being cheated, being taken advantage of, can touch many others.
All the things I have thought of and wanted to do, but not done - W did it. I always tell myself "one day... one day i'd do it... now the circumstances do not allow it... my *** will do *** etc etc... the time will come..." but I have realised two things. One, the famous saying: "time and tide waits for no man." Two, be proactive and lift your butt off the seat and get things done! No use talking!
And yes, I often wonder why do others have so much time, yet I seem to always be struggling with time. I really need some planning. I really need to make myself more efficient.
Mark my words. No matter how tongue tied I am, how uncomfortable i get when talking to others, showing my general concern, I will try.
Shall see where He leads me. Revelation in the process...
I will try to love as how God loved us. I cannot love every single one in the world. But He can. And I will try... May Your love flow through me!
I have wasted another day. But i shall waste it no more... There is so much to be done, yet the workers are few.
I will work hard in breaking this wall!
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Happy National Day + Olympics! WOOO!
hur hur hur... its time for some patriotism! Its national day! ha nope never had the habit of rushing for the tickets to try to get a glimpse of the national day parade, but without fail every year, my family will gather at my grandma's home for a curry chicken feast and watch the parade! Don't know how it all started, but yups, that is the usual practice every year since i was born. Guess national day is not just a day for us to come and remember the contributions of our forefathers, to look back at the hard work of Singaporeans and how fare we've come. It is also a day for the family to get together, to remember how important our family is.
For our dear foreign friends reading this post, you probably do not know much about Singapore. Here's some info! Love wikipedia haha:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore
and http://www.visitsingapore.com/publish/stbportal/en/index.html
erhms and now its olympics time!!! Ha dunno why everytime olympics i get so excited! already have in mind what i intend to watch! Yups love sports ne! ha tink i am getting abit ga ga over the olympics. even subscribed to sms alerts to results of team singapore's performance! (ha free lah) haha so even though i cant watch i'd know how fellow singaporeans r doing! ha hope can catch the badminton games la! badminton leh! susilo rox ha just try ur best la ha if u too wanna catch our team's performance, go to: http://www.teamsingapore.com.sg/publish/teamsingapore/en/games/Olympics/Beijing2008.html
k enuf crap. back to studying... :s
For our dear foreign friends reading this post, you probably do not know much about Singapore. Here's some info! Love wikipedia haha:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singapore
and http://www.visitsingapore.com/publish/stbportal/en/index.html
erhms and now its olympics time!!! Ha dunno why everytime olympics i get so excited! already have in mind what i intend to watch! Yups love sports ne! ha tink i am getting abit ga ga over the olympics. even subscribed to sms alerts to results of team singapore's performance! (ha free lah) haha so even though i cant watch i'd know how fellow singaporeans r doing! ha hope can catch the badminton games la! badminton leh! susilo rox ha just try ur best la ha if u too wanna catch our team's performance, go to: http://www.teamsingapore.com.sg/publish/teamsingapore/en/games/Olympics/Beijing2008.html
k enuf crap. back to studying... :s
The Floppy Infant
Once again, this might be an emo post. Guess i'd only pen down the more emo stuff usually. So beware...
Starting my revision postings... We've to build up the exam mood, we're trying to race against time to see as many cases as possible, so much so that we plunge into case after case. Yet, caution! Take a step back, take a moment to reflect...
As I look at them, i'm reminded of why i had wanted to do paediatrics. Helpless, powerless are they. A whole life ahead of them, yet just one irresponsible parent, just one stroke of bad luck, just one infection, they'd be a dependent for the rest of their lives...
Have seen a very cute baby during tut. Did all the necessary examination, thought he was normal, except probably his occiput was flatter than usual. Yet when we looked at the MRI, i realised, he might remain that "cute" forever... Development will be impaired, especially of the brain. Intelligence, motor function, personal social, might not advance any more. His brain might compensate, might rewire, or it might not. How true the saying is: what is done, cannot be undone.
Who then will help these helpless ones?
***
I always think that we are held responsible for the gifts God has given us. If u're given more, you're expected to use more of what you have (blessings, gifts etc) to help others who have less. It is a fair system. So perhaps, it is better to be less smart? At least there'd be less responsibility ha.
***
so anyway, i'd see where He leads me...
Starting my revision postings... We've to build up the exam mood, we're trying to race against time to see as many cases as possible, so much so that we plunge into case after case. Yet, caution! Take a step back, take a moment to reflect...
As I look at them, i'm reminded of why i had wanted to do paediatrics. Helpless, powerless are they. A whole life ahead of them, yet just one irresponsible parent, just one stroke of bad luck, just one infection, they'd be a dependent for the rest of their lives...
Have seen a very cute baby during tut. Did all the necessary examination, thought he was normal, except probably his occiput was flatter than usual. Yet when we looked at the MRI, i realised, he might remain that "cute" forever... Development will be impaired, especially of the brain. Intelligence, motor function, personal social, might not advance any more. His brain might compensate, might rewire, or it might not. How true the saying is: what is done, cannot be undone.
Who then will help these helpless ones?
***
I always think that we are held responsible for the gifts God has given us. If u're given more, you're expected to use more of what you have (blessings, gifts etc) to help others who have less. It is a fair system. So perhaps, it is better to be less smart? At least there'd be less responsibility ha.
***
so anyway, i'd see where He leads me...
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