Purity

Ha yesterday's sharing had been great. Not that the message was something that hasn't been heard before, but the fact that my mouth opened and i actually shared about something so personal. Yes, in fact i don't know why my mouth opened and how i actually would say all those things. But the fact was that God has calling me to do that for many times but I never really got about doing it. This time, I did it. The feeling was, liberating.

Really. I finally understood what it means by crucifying your flesh. It is a long arduous journey of giving up your old ways. Those ways that are sinful and terrible. The very word "crucifying" simply means that it is a slow and painful process. Now i look back, I really thank God for seeing me through. Am so glad God pulled me out of the filth.

The whole process begins with you identifying the areas in your life which you've problem with, ie having a problem with God. In short, sins. Then the nudging from the Holy Spirit to ask us to change. And starting to change. And falling back to the habit again after some time, back where you started and try again. Yes, it is exactly like trying to kick a drug addiction. During the process you might feel like you've lost yourself, feel that you can't continue, even having "depersonalisation" (yes, psychiatric term). Yet at the end of it all, you feel much much lighter and the problem that once seemed to be taking every part of your life now becomes nothing more than a speck of dust. And to wipe away that final speck, its to talk to someone else about it. Only when the problem comes to light, will it be gone forever.

And yes, so I've completed resolution of 2 issues. I know the 3rd one will be resolved soon. And well i guess i'm just waiting for a more matured person to bring it to light and thereafter uprooting these issues forever and ever.

As I look back, I really do not think how I managed to walk through all that. I wouldn't want to walk through it again. Yet, in future if there's something like this once again, I'd be more cool about it, for I know at the end, God is waiting for me. He is standing at the end of the whole race waiting to pick me up and hug me. Daddy God!

I am proud of Daddy God. And likewise, at the end of my life, I wanna Him to be able to say proudly, "that is my son!"

So, walk in all purity!