Just blogging something that struck me these few days.
There i was, crushing the fish fillet into smaller pieces. For easy chewing and eating. I put it in her spoon, together with some vegetables. Instantly, flashback. Some 18 years ago, i swallowed a fishbone. Did not manage to get it out. Flush it down with water, vegetables or rice, as my parents would say (erhm, now as i've learnt more things, well this is definitely NOT advisable if u accidentally swallow a fishbone). I did. Yet the fear of fish persisted. The next day lunchtime, there i was, staring at the piece of fish and dared not pick it up. For fear of another fishbone. Yet, she patiently crushed the piece of "mai yau" fish (canto) and tried to see and pick out any bone. (yes, even though that type of fish, according to her knowledge, had really really no bones) Then she would encourage me to eat. Bit by bit, slowly, i picked up the pieces and put them in my mouth. Just like what she was doing now. Do not remember much of those days when I was young, just the few precious memories.
Yet, now I looked at her, I am reminded of the sad fact that while I have grown and become more independent and more involved in my own affairs, she has also grown... old. Compared to 18 years ago, she have really aged. No longer is she as nimble, no longer is she as able to pick out bones. No longer she is chewing as well as she did. No longer... ... How long have I not taken her hand and hold it tight. Week after week I visit her, yet she seemed so distant. The visits didnt add on to anything. I can't help but imagine what she has been doing all these while. It seems that I have missed out so much time together with her. Those countless of hours which I have spent outside, working, which I have completed many projects, write ups, tutorials, lectures. What was she doing all this while, while I was in school? Sleeping, watching TV, reading newspaper etc? Well, I would never know what I have missed. Those peaceful quiet times I could have spent holding her hands, speaking to her, talking to her.
And it is really sad. She has many children. All of whom visits her. Yet, they talk among themselves, they talk about her. But who really speaks to her heart? Previously they could have. Now they can't. Whatever you speak, you will have to speak it again. And again.
I am afraid, really afraid. That I might not have much chance to do so. That I might not have time to spend with her. That I might miss out so much of her life. I wonder how different things would be when i return 2 months later. While I am out there trying to experience a new way of life, she is still here, gradually withering away... It has long been since she has had the perfect memory. Now she seems to be even more confused... I don't seem to be able to speak to her heart. The person in her... locked? Life, has reduced... to a point that seemed only mechanical... No intellect, no thoughts to think about. Perhaps the once complex brain is disintegrating to the point of just having spinal reflexes. Message in. Connection. Message out. No retention. Same message in, same message out. Probably a short circuit.
I prayed. I held her hands and prayed...
I went down to this place today. As usual, me in a business like tone. Just wanted to get what I need and leave. Just give a bit of intro and that's it. Then... nearing the end of it all, she said, "Win more souls for Christ!" I felt electrocuted. It just struck me. Ever so hard.
He has done so much for me. It's time I offer myself up to Him.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
HaaaChooooo! Quack Quack! HaaaChooooo!
Yes.
A pastor had a revelation from God, that a virus which had appeared sporadically all over the world in 1988 will return with a greater force in 2008. That virus is bird flu...
Hmmm. Well yes, over the past few years, we have had been seeing a few cases dying cos of Bird Flu.
Today, HK. First case.
Tomorrow? Nobody knows. But we have to be prepared, for another outbreak worse than SARS. Not only medically, but spiritually. For Him to protect and raise our nation. That when the flood comes, we will be able to stay on top and not be drowned.
Just keep our focus on Him.
A pastor had a revelation from God, that a virus which had appeared sporadically all over the world in 1988 will return with a greater force in 2008. That virus is bird flu...
Hmmm. Well yes, over the past few years, we have had been seeing a few cases dying cos of Bird Flu.
Today, HK. First case.
Tomorrow? Nobody knows. But we have to be prepared, for another outbreak worse than SARS. Not only medically, but spiritually. For Him to protect and raise our nation. That when the flood comes, we will be able to stay on top and not be drowned.
Just keep our focus on Him.
Star Bloggers? You ought to reflect!
Hmmm, didn't really feel like blogging, but an article i read on MY paper (Singapore's only bilingual paper) made me feel really uncomfortable... It was the commentary made by Jamie Yeo on the recent NUS survey (hmph I havent heard anything about this at all before this la!) that 64% of students have intercourse at least once a week, the most preferred places were hostels and toilets. (most of the students taking part in the survey were NUS Arts students)
K yes, of course I'd be shocked over the results of the survey. And what made it worse are jamie yeo's comments on it. (n yes, this is the first time I went on Stomp to find out what this website is all about.) Read at: http://starblog.stomp.com.sg/post.php?blogid=740
Firstly, don't we see that itself as a big problem? How many of these people are married? I don't think they are. Sex in itself is a sacred event. It is God's gift to humans. Even if you do not look at it from the Christian's perspective, don't you think it is a sacred event? It is when you give yourself wholly and fully to someone you truly love and will spend your life with. It is such a personal thing between 2 persons that when any other person is involved, the essence, the feeling and the whole enjoyment even will be different, cos the word "love" isn't even in the picture. It is "lust". This is so personal that I cannot even draw an accurate analogy to it. The closest I have would be this: Would you ever ever wear a stranger's WORN underwear??? Don't think you'd wear it even if its your loved ones. Yes, it's that personal! perhaps this analogy might sound weird, but the point i'm trying to make is that how can one be so flippant over such matters? It's giving of your body to another person! So you just give it to anyone? and you give it almost every week?
Secondly, the medical point of view - yups guess you all know. Shan't speak further
Thirdly. Jamie Yeo. (and the rest of the bloggers) She should know that her views are read by many others. It's even on the newspapers. Many other youngsters out there who are still not sure of what love is. She blames the bad press, the media, propagating this message of casual sex. Then what is she doing as a star blogger? She's propagating it too! She even gives examples of her own personal experience, of sleeping with lecturer for good grades, etc. She ends off with a quote taken from the bible: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone", trying to say that we should not and do not have to judge others, for we are all full of sin. Yes. But Jesus ended the whole story with "Go and sin no more." So indeed we are in no position to judge, but should you, ENCOURAGE people to continue in sin?
Yes, why am I so worked up over this? We have seen all the worst ever on the newspapers - Edison Chen saga etc etc etc. Since it is really nothing new. Yet, I am concerned for our society as a whole. Are we, progressing to a point of no return? The young and the educated. The meaning of presenting your body as a gift to your future spouse to show your love for him/her. You don't even need a degree to understand all these. Yet, people just don't seem to understand.
And from the Christian's point of view. Are we as a society heading towards sin so much, like the city of Sodom? Then we are heading for destruction...
Perhaps I am not good with words, dunno how i can fully put forth my thoughts, but I am really really bothered by this.
God is weeping. We are hurting Him too much. I am saddened.
K yes, of course I'd be shocked over the results of the survey. And what made it worse are jamie yeo's comments on it. (n yes, this is the first time I went on Stomp to find out what this website is all about.) Read at: http://starblog.stomp.com.sg/post.php?blogid=740
Firstly, don't we see that itself as a big problem? How many of these people are married? I don't think they are. Sex in itself is a sacred event. It is God's gift to humans. Even if you do not look at it from the Christian's perspective, don't you think it is a sacred event? It is when you give yourself wholly and fully to someone you truly love and will spend your life with. It is such a personal thing between 2 persons that when any other person is involved, the essence, the feeling and the whole enjoyment even will be different, cos the word "love" isn't even in the picture. It is "lust". This is so personal that I cannot even draw an accurate analogy to it. The closest I have would be this: Would you ever ever wear a stranger's WORN underwear??? Don't think you'd wear it even if its your loved ones. Yes, it's that personal! perhaps this analogy might sound weird, but the point i'm trying to make is that how can one be so flippant over such matters? It's giving of your body to another person! So you just give it to anyone? and you give it almost every week?
Secondly, the medical point of view - yups guess you all know. Shan't speak further
Thirdly. Jamie Yeo. (and the rest of the bloggers) She should know that her views are read by many others. It's even on the newspapers. Many other youngsters out there who are still not sure of what love is. She blames the bad press, the media, propagating this message of casual sex. Then what is she doing as a star blogger? She's propagating it too! She even gives examples of her own personal experience, of sleeping with lecturer for good grades, etc. She ends off with a quote taken from the bible: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone", trying to say that we should not and do not have to judge others, for we are all full of sin. Yes. But Jesus ended the whole story with "Go and sin no more." So indeed we are in no position to judge, but should you, ENCOURAGE people to continue in sin?
Yes, why am I so worked up over this? We have seen all the worst ever on the newspapers - Edison Chen saga etc etc etc. Since it is really nothing new. Yet, I am concerned for our society as a whole. Are we, progressing to a point of no return? The young and the educated. The meaning of presenting your body as a gift to your future spouse to show your love for him/her. You don't even need a degree to understand all these. Yet, people just don't seem to understand.
And from the Christian's point of view. Are we as a society heading towards sin so much, like the city of Sodom? Then we are heading for destruction...
Perhaps I am not good with words, dunno how i can fully put forth my thoughts, but I am really really bothered by this.
God is weeping. We are hurting Him too much. I am saddened.
Monday, March 10, 2008
What Major is Right for You??
Take this quiz at: http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=35647N
Ha did this quiz when I'm just starting to do data analysis for my project and am already put off... so yes, might have been quite biased. haha anw these are my results. Pretty accurate. haha mabbe cos i'm already in this med mindset and the questions are so predictable of the "major" they're asking of. haha but oh well, just feeling wu liao and putting off doing the data!!!!
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haha so yups, perhaps i should try to pull up my political science score? hmmm but i'm really not tt interested...
anw off the bathing n START data analysis!
Ha did this quiz when I'm just starting to do data analysis for my project and am already put off... so yes, might have been quite biased. haha anw these are my results. Pretty accurate. haha mabbe cos i'm already in this med mindset and the questions are so predictable of the "major" they're asking of. haha but oh well, just feeling wu liao and putting off doing the data!!!!
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| WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You scored as a Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| You should strongly consider majoring in Nursing, Athletic Training, or related majors (e.g., Chiropractics, Nutrition/Dietetics, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Radiologic Technology, Rehabilitation Services, Respiratory Therapy). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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haha so yups, perhaps i should try to pull up my political science score? hmmm but i'm really not tt interested...
anw off the bathing n START data analysis!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Looking Back
Was looking back at the previous posts. Well yup I know I've morphed, yet I am still surprised. Last time the worries seem, all but so trivial. I used to.. be making a mountain out of a molehill.
Everyone grows. Yet not everyone grows spiritually.
I know I have changed alot. Just that the outside is still not shiny. Shall work on that.
But I know it is not by my own effort.
Go away lethargy!
Night.
Everyone grows. Yet not everyone grows spiritually.
I know I have changed alot. Just that the outside is still not shiny. Shall work on that.
But I know it is not by my own effort.
Go away lethargy!
Night.
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