Ha yesterday's sharing had been great. Not that the message was something that hasn't been heard before, but the fact that my mouth opened and i actually shared about something so personal. Yes, in fact i don't know why my mouth opened and how i actually would say all those things. But the fact was that God has calling me to do that for many times but I never really got about doing it. This time, I did it. The feeling was, liberating.
Really. I finally understood what it means by crucifying your flesh. It is a long arduous journey of giving up your old ways. Those ways that are sinful and terrible. The very word "crucifying" simply means that it is a slow and painful process. Now i look back, I really thank God for seeing me through. Am so glad God pulled me out of the filth.
The whole process begins with you identifying the areas in your life which you've problem with, ie having a problem with God. In short, sins. Then the nudging from the Holy Spirit to ask us to change. And starting to change. And falling back to the habit again after some time, back where you started and try again. Yes, it is exactly like trying to kick a drug addiction. During the process you might feel like you've lost yourself, feel that you can't continue, even having "depersonalisation" (yes, psychiatric term). Yet at the end of it all, you feel much much lighter and the problem that once seemed to be taking every part of your life now becomes nothing more than a speck of dust. And to wipe away that final speck, its to talk to someone else about it. Only when the problem comes to light, will it be gone forever.
And yes, so I've completed resolution of 2 issues. I know the 3rd one will be resolved soon. And well i guess i'm just waiting for a more matured person to bring it to light and thereafter uprooting these issues forever and ever.
As I look back, I really do not think how I managed to walk through all that. I wouldn't want to walk through it again. Yet, in future if there's something like this once again, I'd be more cool about it, for I know at the end, God is waiting for me. He is standing at the end of the whole race waiting to pick me up and hug me. Daddy God!
I am proud of Daddy God. And likewise, at the end of my life, I wanna Him to be able to say proudly, "that is my son!"
So, walk in all purity!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
How apt. How striking the message was.
When he cried, the message reached out even more strongly. It struck me.
Its really amazing how God works. As he prepared for the message, he was struck by his own faults. So he simply shared his thoughts. God has turned his reflection and repentance into reflection and repentance in everyone who was listening, bringing us all back to where we started, when we felt like a filthy piece of rubbish. We are all pieces of rubbish that God saved. (Yes, no matter how "respectable" your sins may seem, all sins are equal in His eyes.)
He lives by example. He may not be perfect, yet he is right. Even in his position, he is still reflecting upon himself daily. He is full of repentance before God. He has shown that there can never be a day that we do not have to repent, for there is no way we're going to be perfect before we meet Christ face to face.
Every day, we have to lay down everything at the foot of the cross and ask for His forgiveness. It is only when we reflect upon ourselves daily that we can keep on growing and maturing in Christ. We have to examine all our sins and be determined to change. And we have to remember always that being saved is only the starting. We have always to be in a state of being "poor in spirit", which simply means that we do not become self-righteous, but instead always recognising how Jesus has paid double for all our sins. Once we forget this and get too comfortable with our lives and think that we have nothing to repent about or "i'm already quite good", we're on our way to becoming self-righteous, we're on our way to becoming the Pharisee.
Yes, and he too, is right. I might really be on my way to becoming a Pharisee. Thank God for showing me this. I probably have started to be judgmental, forcing my thoughts on others, not being the gentle servant He expects us to be. Repentance!
To always be the poor in the spirit, so that we can yield to God every day.
And definitely, i realised as i reflected, when one is self-righteous, ie righteous in his own thoughts, it is difficult for him to accept Christ. When one has his own set of thinking rather than that which comes from God, he has set his own benchmark unknowingly, which traps him and he is unable to see things from another perspective. One will hold on to his benchmark and no matter what happens, he will use his benchmark to choose. Hence, no matter how many choices there are, he is limited by the benchmark he sets, so he can only see one eventual choice.
Perhaps everyone is like this, but I'm glad my benchmark does not come from myself, but from God.
Truly understood what is meant by sitting on different sides of the camp. You understand the opposing camp, yet you are never able to accept them, due to differences in ideals, principalities. That might lead to war.
I knew God's grace was important, but never realised the impact until recently. I always thought reasoning, convincing worked, yet God has truly shown me the reason for my salvation is by grace and grace alone. Not by my own warped reasoning. There is nothing I've done that deserve His grace, yet He showered it upon me. So now there is nothing else I can really do, except to pray for His grace.
Pray to be poor in the spirit daily.
One thing is for certain. There's a fixed volume. So how much we get of Him is how little we shrink ourselves into. And He will fill the remaining space.
And yes, for her, where she's treading to is against principalities. Yet in the bottom of my heart, I know she'd be able to do it, cos I confident in Him.
Being poor in the spirit, however, can disadvantage us too. If we yield not to God but towards something else, it is dangerous, for that something can fill that gap and make us even poorer in the spirit unknowingly. We deviate further and further. So it all boils down to God's grace. Yes, it is true that for them, they too have a relationship, they too yield to something higher, yet, when this relationship is not with god but with a spirit, does it really not matter? why would one be content with that?
Yes, be poor in the spirit and yield to God.
And be glad to be in His grace.
When he cried, the message reached out even more strongly. It struck me.
Its really amazing how God works. As he prepared for the message, he was struck by his own faults. So he simply shared his thoughts. God has turned his reflection and repentance into reflection and repentance in everyone who was listening, bringing us all back to where we started, when we felt like a filthy piece of rubbish. We are all pieces of rubbish that God saved. (Yes, no matter how "respectable" your sins may seem, all sins are equal in His eyes.)
He lives by example. He may not be perfect, yet he is right. Even in his position, he is still reflecting upon himself daily. He is full of repentance before God. He has shown that there can never be a day that we do not have to repent, for there is no way we're going to be perfect before we meet Christ face to face.
Every day, we have to lay down everything at the foot of the cross and ask for His forgiveness. It is only when we reflect upon ourselves daily that we can keep on growing and maturing in Christ. We have to examine all our sins and be determined to change. And we have to remember always that being saved is only the starting. We have always to be in a state of being "poor in spirit", which simply means that we do not become self-righteous, but instead always recognising how Jesus has paid double for all our sins. Once we forget this and get too comfortable with our lives and think that we have nothing to repent about or "i'm already quite good", we're on our way to becoming self-righteous, we're on our way to becoming the Pharisee.
Yes, and he too, is right. I might really be on my way to becoming a Pharisee. Thank God for showing me this. I probably have started to be judgmental, forcing my thoughts on others, not being the gentle servant He expects us to be. Repentance!
To always be the poor in the spirit, so that we can yield to God every day.
And definitely, i realised as i reflected, when one is self-righteous, ie righteous in his own thoughts, it is difficult for him to accept Christ. When one has his own set of thinking rather than that which comes from God, he has set his own benchmark unknowingly, which traps him and he is unable to see things from another perspective. One will hold on to his benchmark and no matter what happens, he will use his benchmark to choose. Hence, no matter how many choices there are, he is limited by the benchmark he sets, so he can only see one eventual choice.
Perhaps everyone is like this, but I'm glad my benchmark does not come from myself, but from God.
Truly understood what is meant by sitting on different sides of the camp. You understand the opposing camp, yet you are never able to accept them, due to differences in ideals, principalities. That might lead to war.
I knew God's grace was important, but never realised the impact until recently. I always thought reasoning, convincing worked, yet God has truly shown me the reason for my salvation is by grace and grace alone. Not by my own warped reasoning. There is nothing I've done that deserve His grace, yet He showered it upon me. So now there is nothing else I can really do, except to pray for His grace.
Pray to be poor in the spirit daily.
One thing is for certain. There's a fixed volume. So how much we get of Him is how little we shrink ourselves into. And He will fill the remaining space.
And yes, for her, where she's treading to is against principalities. Yet in the bottom of my heart, I know she'd be able to do it, cos I confident in Him.
Being poor in the spirit, however, can disadvantage us too. If we yield not to God but towards something else, it is dangerous, for that something can fill that gap and make us even poorer in the spirit unknowingly. We deviate further and further. So it all boils down to God's grace. Yes, it is true that for them, they too have a relationship, they too yield to something higher, yet, when this relationship is not with god but with a spirit, does it really not matter? why would one be content with that?
Yes, be poor in the spirit and yield to God.
And be glad to be in His grace.
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