Breaking the walls of my Igloo and walk right into the cold, bringing the only warmth - LOVE - to the unknown snow capped land

I have never been so impressed. She has really opened my eyes to many things which I have not seen or thought about before. As what V would say, "You have really challenged me." I have never seen that kind of love radiating out from somebody. I have never seen that kind of expressivity, that kind of love and concern, emulating that perfect love of the Lord.

I find myself pale in comparison. Now I find my own ideals and purpose put to shame.

Face it, boy! You have always been dreaming, been a dreamer, just thinking about things but never really doing it. Or rather, you have always not been able to walk out of that box. At most, you have only walked to the door, facing the world outside briefly and returning back to your box.

It is time to wake up and inject some energy and enthusiasm in my life! I have been stagnant for so long. In fact at times, the water has flowed back from where it started.

I am not so high and mighty. I am only a small fry. Yet, not matter how small a fry I am, as long as I don upon the love of the Lord, people will be touched.

I realised that how un-expressive I am. I find it difficult to express my feelings, to show my concern, to verbalise the real thoughts I have inside. It is always suppressed. I may seem like a joyful, loud person, but I am only an empty vessel. I make the most noise over small things which I have done. Yet I come to realise, that I should learn to be less noisy and fill up my vessel. But now I know, how it is to express concern, how to make your thoughts into action.

I must say I am really impressed.

I guess I have always put a wall around myself. This wall is built up through years of experience in this world. The wall was set up to protect myself - from cheats, etc - so that if anyone wanted to, they could not hurt me.

Yet it is time for me to break down this thick wall. I have seen how this wall has stopped me short of reaching out to others, to showing my genuine concern. I have seen how someone who's not afraid of being cheated, being taken advantage of, can touch many others.

All the things I have thought of and wanted to do, but not done - W did it. I always tell myself "one day... one day i'd do it... now the circumstances do not allow it... my *** will do *** etc etc... the time will come..." but I have realised two things. One, the famous saying: "time and tide waits for no man." Two, be proactive and lift your butt off the seat and get things done! No use talking!

And yes, I often wonder why do others have so much time, yet I seem to always be struggling with time. I really need some planning. I really need to make myself more efficient.

Mark my words. No matter how tongue tied I am, how uncomfortable i get when talking to others, showing my general concern, I will try.

Shall see where He leads me. Revelation in the process...

I will try to love as how God loved us. I cannot love every single one in the world. But He can. And I will try... May Your love flow through me!

I have wasted another day. But i shall waste it no more... There is so much to be done, yet the workers are few.

I will work hard in breaking this wall!