Hmmm

ha one of the reasons why i kept this blog to myself previously cos i merely wanted something like a diary, just to write what my thoughts, my feelings are, etc. Ha but now... hmmm...

Erhm. Think quite a few people asked me what happened after my previous post. Hmmm. NOTHING HAPPENED. ha not unhappy or troubled or what. Well, guess its my English again. SiGh! SO DUN WORRY K!

was just recounting an event (erhm 3 yrs ago?) which i was really helpless, but now my prayers have been answered. So yes, it is a sweet feeling, a testimony of God working in my life. I have seen how faithful God has been. I am always amazed by God, by what He has done. I stand in awe of Him. The feeling He gives me in a Chinese phrase is: 奇妙. Miraculous! That's how it feels like. its the 'wow' feeling!

So even though i know not what challenges i'd be facing in future, i know i can trust in Him, no matter what. I am just hoping to grow in my faith, become more mature, rather than still remaining as a spiritual babe!

Someone used the word "staunch" on me. NO. I don't think you can use that to describe me. I'd feel ashamed. But yes, this word is what i'd be working towards. BUT you know, this word gives me creeps. Cos "staunch" sounds more religious - like doing things just for the sake of doing, for the sake of religion, which should not be the case. It is all about relationship with God. Not just merely a human effort in seeking Him.

Someone else used the word "filial" on me. NO. Don't think you can use that to describe me too. Whatever i try to do, i'm just doing what i think every reasonable son / daughter should do. In fact, i'm still not doing a good job. We need to honour our parents. We have to consider their feelings and perspective in every thing that we do. And I am particularly aware of that fine line that I will cross if i don't handle these delicately.

Matthew 5:16 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Was just searching for "proselytizing in hospitals" after my church friend (ha erhm i guess im more popular with the aunties still, sigh) cut out news article from "my paper" talking about evangelism in hospitals. (cos evangelising in hospitals yielded no results) Didn't manage to find the article, but came across blogs written by atheists etc. Hmmm realised (wrong word used, cos i sorta know, but gained a better understanding) that there seems to be alot of anger (yes, the comments were really foul and vulgar) triggered off by street evangelists, doctors, teachers etc who talks about their own faith, especially while working. So yes, there is a fine line which we must delicately handle, yes, if not there will only be more repulsion than anything. Definitely i don't think things like after telling a patient you have cancer one moment and then you tell them to consider Christianity the next moment is ethical. This is simply unacceptable and insensitive towards the patient lah!

It takes 2 hands to clap. If only 1 hand is used, it becomes a slap! So if you slap someone, surely that someone will become angry rite? So can understand why they are feeling like this.

One of the things I have learnt in Uganda is that you do not have to say things like this or what to people around you. Matthew 5:16 simply means that we should live a biblical life in every aspect - work, family, play - such that others can see a change / difference in us. NOT trying to "proselytize" in this aspect. And God's ministry will follow you when you do that. YUPS It's all about God, not about us. It is not "us" that converts someone but God is the one.

And it is NOT that we want to convert others that so we live a biblical life! It is all out of love, for God. It is all out of love that He sends Jesus to saves us. The big topic is really, love. It may be out of love for your patients / people around you that you might do silly things like that mentioned above. but i guess, respecting them for what and who they are is a means of love too.

So yups, all along, i try to respect others' beliefs etc so i usually will talk about it when others broach a subject or are really interested. I guess that will continue to be what I am.

Yet, sometimes when i feel that it is the Holy Spirit asking me to speak, then I will. And yes, He speaks through me. He speaks through people. (erhms no this is not getting possessed or what, so ppl, pls dun get the wrong idea and get scared of me haha different different. oops dun wanna yue4 miao2 yue4 hei1. wateva...)

anyway, this post is just a comment... Nth much. hope i really have not offended many people by saying so much. sorry sorry k.

:P

well as you can see, when i try to put all my thoughts quickly down in writing it becomes an unorganised piece of crap like this. haha oh wells. hope i didnt confuse anyone.

bleah.