Choices

I'm not sure whether it is "giving up" or truly "peace" or not even having the sense of emergency for impending doom.

I guess its peace. There are many things i dunno and there are many things i forget. Yes, and I don't think I profess to become smart overnight. So I just have to make do with what I have ie me and my brain and leave everything else to Him.

Truly, whenever I tell others that I'm not that smart, they dun believe me. I guess its a matter of comparison. I came in knowing i do not have the perfect memory and would be much better off doing something else and not struggling like this. Yet, I chose this. Ask me whether I want to remove my feet from this? I guess I'm too far in the mud to lift off my legs and run off somewhere else... Don't know whether I made the right decision initially but now I'm stuck with this decision. Many times I tot I might really be happier and better off doing something else. I'd have more time to do the things i really love, to spend time with God etc etc.

Yet, I guess this is the path He wants me to take, for whatever reason. So I just trust that He will provide me with the necessary to fulfill this. Learning to trust Him and not give up.

Maybe all these comes out when you're feeling groggy and doped from the antihistamines. having slept for the past nearly 24 hours due to this irritating nose and aches makes you even more groggy.

How I wish my brain had terabytes of space. gigabytes already enuf. My comp stores so many things from M1 to M5 and its enough. My comp has so many images, algorithms and its so easily retrievable. I hope my brain is able too...

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Sharing - sharing with someone from the same background makes it easier. Yet, sharing to someone from a different background keeps you in check and not let you go into the comfort zone.

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Hmmm so what shall be my choices?