Gross

Disclaimer: The following account is highly graphic and disturbing. Strong language is used. Pregnant ladies, children, those above age of 65 and those with heart problems, please STOP HERE. Do not continue reading... Forgive me for the medical jargon too, as it is indeed too near MBBS

***

"SHIT," I thought in my heart as i entered the lift.

NO I AM NOT SWEARING. I am only describing what I saw...

The day started off as usual, but little did i expect it to be a black gold day. I left my house in a dreamy state, but as i approached the staircase, i nearly stepped on the 2 small finger sized piece of black, dryish poo. My heart raced and adrenaline was released almost immediately, as I managed to open my eyes and react in time to pull my leg away. Phew! "Ok, nothing much, cool. Must be the neighbour's dog. He'd clean it off later," I thought.

So i resumed my sleepy state and walked slowly towards the corridor, towards the lift. The lift door opened, i proptosed. (eyes popped out) I nearly became thyrotoxic. My eyes had opthalmoplegia for i could not take them off those things and i was no longer sleepy. I tiptoed into the lift, making sure i don't land my precious shoes on any of those THINGS.

I can think of several reasons why i went into the lift anyway.
(1) rushing for time
(2) well, ok, I AM immune actually. I mean i've seen more bodily discharge and waste in the hospital for the past 3 years. the smell wasn't as bad as malaena and i guess my allergic rhinitis finally helped me.
(3) It was really interesting. Had i not been on the phone with my brother, I'd have an OSSE picture for future med students...

So short case on those THINGS:
There were at least 10 of them strewn over the floor, arranged in an irregular, haphazard manner, but of a general circumferential shape. I'm sorry examiner I didn't count exactly how many were there, as it was generalised, all over the floor. All were discrete lumps except for 2 which coalesced and was on top of each other. The largest estimated to be about 15 cm in length, 2-3cm in diameter, cylindrical in shape, brown colour, (not pale and not black, sticky) and no blood on top of or mixed with them. Generally, they're of the same calibre and size as mine, or even bigger. I do agree that it might not seem very professional to use a personal reference BUT i have to determine the ORIGIN of these lumps. It is likely to be from a fellow homo sapien.

A further diagnostic point is that these lumps were surprisingly not all heaped in one pile but found discretely.

The lumps (inferred) were firm in consistency (as they had a fixed shape, size and volume) with no surrounding fluid discharge.

Diagnoses I can infer in this homo sapien:
1) Healthy - no gastrointestinal bleeding, no obstructive jaundice, no gastroenteritis
2) Good nutrition - there were at least 10 lumps, so i guess he had a big meal the night before.

I would like to complete my examination with a psychiatric assessment and geriatric assessment to rule out any incontinence or dementia.

Do not ask me further questions, my dear examiner, I am incapable of answering you for I CANNOT COMPREHEND WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING IN THE LIFT! It has to be intentional for I do not know of any individual who'd move his buttocks over several areas to deposit those lumps, instead of just staying in one position.

***

It really bothered me, not because the nature of the lumps but what is really happening in my block of flats. This is not the first time there are faeces in the lift, albeit this IS the most massive and major attempt. There has also been an increasing number of times when early in the morning i use the lift, there is a puddle of URINE in the lift. (And it is always in the morning!)

I really sympathise with the cleaner. I really don't know how he can take it. He is the foreever cheery kind of person, always so friendly. He brightens us up every morning as he greets everyone he meets with a chirpy "Good Morning!" I dared not ask him about the urine and the faeces. Oh man, he must be hating his job. In fact, he has been demoted to be a toilet flusher. Somebody actually treats him as the toilet!!!! Oh man! Even the cheeriest person can become depressed! COS IT IS NOT JUST ONCE BUT CHRONIC RECURRENCE.

***

So I posed this question to my family and ended up in a heated debate.

"WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU PRESS THE LIFT BUTTON AND YOU SEE SOMEONE DEFAECATING IN FRONT OF YOU?"

Someone said, "what can you do, just treat as you never see and walk away" I was like "WHAT???"
"it'd be worse if you get involved and he gets crazy and punch you or worse still throw faeces at you right?"
!@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@@............

Another one said, "that is the same as a flasher la! of course i'd scream and shout molest or something"
erps. ok.

So, what would YOU do?

Social justice, yes or no?

But seriously, what can you really do? I don't think the police should be used for such crap unless it really gets above the threshold level. The town council won't be able to help. The cleaner has no choice but to continue clearing.

SIGH

But hmmm I guess I'd be loss for words, then ask him why he does that and ask him not to do it again, for everyone's sake. But if he can do such a thing, will he listen to you???

SIGH

But i guess things would be different if they looked like this: