Haven blogged for a long time... just felt like blogging today... let's see if i can finish in a few minutes...
This morning, I was feeling rather stoned& confused. Didnt see a woman pushing a pram trying to ask me to move aside @ the bus stop... another passerby had to tap me on the shoulder... showed how stoned i was.... then later on the bus, just had a sudden flash of these words through my mind:
"Stunned.
Didnt know why i did that, but i did it...
How can I hope to help others when i cant even help myself?
Ashamed.
The inside was rotten...
Now even the outside is starting to rot
Like how my cheese turned blue...
Feel,
Like an apple crumble now."
But much later, while @ AH... i was suddenly awakened by the person I was trying to help... He shared his experiences with me... and i was encouraged greatly.. for he, a person suffering so much physically, had so much faith & conviction... nvr has he given up in seeking God, though he is ashamed of his deeds... "now i pray just thanking... till one day, when the door opens already, i can then communicate with Him"
he didnt know how much this line meant to the one he was talking to... it showed the resilience, the persistence of this person... how strong was his want to change, to seek Him.
He has encouraged this backslider to regain the confidence, to regain tt hunger for Him... I have no suffering & is in fact so blessed... yet i do not even have tt fighting spirit...
N then, went back home n saw DXK's email... a short read, yet succintly hit the note in my heart... yes! I am not to give up!
am now encouraged! No matter what happened, His Love is constant! He is waiting for us to change! N i shld not give up SEEKING, FERRETING for HIM!
God is in control!
Am really thankful & fortunate.... whenever I fall again, there's alw so many others ard me to try to bring me back on track...
Am really thankful!
Still got lots to blog abt... but yups tink me no time lah haha... these few weeks so many things happen... so much tt i wanna say but then cos alw feel b lazy n nvr say le
Feel like a recharged battery now, cept it is bed time!!!
