Gross

Disclaimer: The following account is highly graphic and disturbing. Strong language is used. Pregnant ladies, children, those above age of 65 and those with heart problems, please STOP HERE. Do not continue reading... Forgive me for the medical jargon too, as it is indeed too near MBBS

***

"SHIT," I thought in my heart as i entered the lift.

NO I AM NOT SWEARING. I am only describing what I saw...

The day started off as usual, but little did i expect it to be a black gold day. I left my house in a dreamy state, but as i approached the staircase, i nearly stepped on the 2 small finger sized piece of black, dryish poo. My heart raced and adrenaline was released almost immediately, as I managed to open my eyes and react in time to pull my leg away. Phew! "Ok, nothing much, cool. Must be the neighbour's dog. He'd clean it off later," I thought.

So i resumed my sleepy state and walked slowly towards the corridor, towards the lift. The lift door opened, i proptosed. (eyes popped out) I nearly became thyrotoxic. My eyes had opthalmoplegia for i could not take them off those things and i was no longer sleepy. I tiptoed into the lift, making sure i don't land my precious shoes on any of those THINGS.

I can think of several reasons why i went into the lift anyway.
(1) rushing for time
(2) well, ok, I AM immune actually. I mean i've seen more bodily discharge and waste in the hospital for the past 3 years. the smell wasn't as bad as malaena and i guess my allergic rhinitis finally helped me.
(3) It was really interesting. Had i not been on the phone with my brother, I'd have an OSSE picture for future med students...

So short case on those THINGS:
There were at least 10 of them strewn over the floor, arranged in an irregular, haphazard manner, but of a general circumferential shape. I'm sorry examiner I didn't count exactly how many were there, as it was generalised, all over the floor. All were discrete lumps except for 2 which coalesced and was on top of each other. The largest estimated to be about 15 cm in length, 2-3cm in diameter, cylindrical in shape, brown colour, (not pale and not black, sticky) and no blood on top of or mixed with them. Generally, they're of the same calibre and size as mine, or even bigger. I do agree that it might not seem very professional to use a personal reference BUT i have to determine the ORIGIN of these lumps. It is likely to be from a fellow homo sapien.

A further diagnostic point is that these lumps were surprisingly not all heaped in one pile but found discretely.

The lumps (inferred) were firm in consistency (as they had a fixed shape, size and volume) with no surrounding fluid discharge.

Diagnoses I can infer in this homo sapien:
1) Healthy - no gastrointestinal bleeding, no obstructive jaundice, no gastroenteritis
2) Good nutrition - there were at least 10 lumps, so i guess he had a big meal the night before.

I would like to complete my examination with a psychiatric assessment and geriatric assessment to rule out any incontinence or dementia.

Do not ask me further questions, my dear examiner, I am incapable of answering you for I CANNOT COMPREHEND WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING IN THE LIFT! It has to be intentional for I do not know of any individual who'd move his buttocks over several areas to deposit those lumps, instead of just staying in one position.

***

It really bothered me, not because the nature of the lumps but what is really happening in my block of flats. This is not the first time there are faeces in the lift, albeit this IS the most massive and major attempt. There has also been an increasing number of times when early in the morning i use the lift, there is a puddle of URINE in the lift. (And it is always in the morning!)

I really sympathise with the cleaner. I really don't know how he can take it. He is the foreever cheery kind of person, always so friendly. He brightens us up every morning as he greets everyone he meets with a chirpy "Good Morning!" I dared not ask him about the urine and the faeces. Oh man, he must be hating his job. In fact, he has been demoted to be a toilet flusher. Somebody actually treats him as the toilet!!!! Oh man! Even the cheeriest person can become depressed! COS IT IS NOT JUST ONCE BUT CHRONIC RECURRENCE.

***

So I posed this question to my family and ended up in a heated debate.

"WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU PRESS THE LIFT BUTTON AND YOU SEE SOMEONE DEFAECATING IN FRONT OF YOU?"

Someone said, "what can you do, just treat as you never see and walk away" I was like "WHAT???"
"it'd be worse if you get involved and he gets crazy and punch you or worse still throw faeces at you right?"
!@#$%^&*((*&^%$#@@............

Another one said, "that is the same as a flasher la! of course i'd scream and shout molest or something"
erps. ok.

So, what would YOU do?

Social justice, yes or no?

But seriously, what can you really do? I don't think the police should be used for such crap unless it really gets above the threshold level. The town council won't be able to help. The cleaner has no choice but to continue clearing.

SIGH

But hmmm I guess I'd be loss for words, then ask him why he does that and ask him not to do it again, for everyone's sake. But if he can do such a thing, will he listen to you???

SIGH

But i guess things would be different if they looked like this:

Commitment, CNY

Sunday's service touched on evangelism, to be the labourers of God, for the harvest is ripe. Guess the song "From Ashes to Beauty" by The Vine Band, which we sang on that day epitomizes the whole message.

Overwhelmed actually, not sure how to put it across. But just wanted to share the song with everyone... :P

Happy Chinese New Year! Wasted the entire weekend. Promised myself to study, in the end, couldn't really do it and just gave up and went visiting despite telling myself i won't go visiting much this year... I guess... cos its tradition? And probably the last proper CNY before work starts. Come to think of it, when work starts, I'm sure one of the 3 days (reunion dinner, CNY1 or CNY2) or if not more, will be spent @ the workplace. So yups, giving myself some slack this time round. But the happiest CNY i've ever had was last year's! Post-exam CNY! Play like i never did. Had full interaction with my cousins! Ha, but this year, didn't really have the mood to mix around...

Whatever, Geri's next, then Ortho and MBBS in 6 weeks!

Interesting

k the 1st part is crap. anw, i realised that yesterday was the 12th day of Christmas! (yes, as the song sings... haha ya i know there's no such thing... but still...) Ha didn't realise ne! And its was my fren's bday! So every year he is celebrating his birthday and the last day of "Christmas" together!!! How cool rite! haha and today's the 13th... well yes i told you its crap...

but oh wells, here's a simple but rather nice video. Just wanna share!

Brrr... Random Brrr Thoughts

Weather these few days has been weird. And my nose's dripping like mad. having malaise and aches everywhere. So glad its a long weekend for me to recover... am wearing my windbreaker even though i dun have aircon la!

But just a few days ago i was sweating away... virus go away! so i can enjoy this cool weather!!!

brrr... its the time of year again...

brrr... how seasons come and go, ever so regular, ever so punctual.

brrr... a snowy snowy Christmas... when you don't have it, you long for one, when you have it, you're troubled by it... how paradoxical Man is...

It just boils down to the notion that one is never satisfied. Man wants the best of everything. Man is never satisfied. Even when we appear to be satisfied, there are fine prints associated with it. Things like "I'd enjoy this weather if only the virus is gone"

But really, Man should be satisfied.

I should be satisfied...

Smile, cos the cold weather is here again!

Life and DEATH

Life, how sacred art thou. How amazing and wonderful you are.
Life, how fragile art thou. How uncertain and sudden you move.

God, how great art thou. How magnificent and majestic You are, to create life.
God, how holy art thou. How broken and unprepared am I, to meet You.

Life, we all know as wonderful as it is, comes and goes without us knowing. Some may have warnings or prodromes, like previous stroke or heart attack or cancer; yet some may not even have the slightest idea. Any one of us can drop dead the next moment. Each day is a mercy from God.

The question we have to ask ourselves everyday is, are you ready to meet God at this moment?

I am not.

The next question: when will you ever be ready? Don't you want to start getting yourself ready for that day, no matter when it comes? Why are you still delaying it?

It is very much like a spring test. We've had lots of that in secondary school. We know that a test will be coming, only we don't know when. So we try our best to prepare and learn, so that we will be prepared when the test comes. I don't know about you, but most Singaporeans, being Kiasu, will start preparing for it, so that they will not be caught unawares.

If we can do this for a spring test, then why aren't we doing it for something that determines our eternity?

Yes, we as humans are given 5 senses. So as long as something we do not look feel see hear taste, we are less likely to treat it seriously. Which is why we treat a spring test with more respect than our eternity. We lose our reasoning and perseverance once we do not see it immediately.

Yet we know that God has given us so many things to look feel see hear and taste Him. Why do we still deny Him? Why are we still not heeding His Word?

"Yes, save it for later, after i finish my exams / my meeting / my project etc etc" Hmmm are you really so sure you can finish your project before you die? The lady who went to Mumbai was quite confident she could come back after she gave her talk. She had even made plans for children. She thought life would just go on as it is, circling around her, until she's fed up of this life then she'd say bye. (Forgive me for these presumptous statements. But you get the idea... don't you?) Many of us live life like that; ME INCLUDED. It is like having no concrete plans to study for your exams. You do not plan what you are to cover this week, so that you can finally finish the whole syllabus, but read whatever you like, thinking that the exam will not come so fast...

With the end in mind, THEN you will be able to live life to the fullest.

For me, if i've never figured out life and death issues, Maker issues, i'd never be able to live my life to the fullest. Things like your job, your outlook, future plans, your relationships including boyfren or girlfren, spouse etc etc all cannot be settled or planned if we never figured out who God is or is there really a god (for atheists) etc etc... I don't think that it's a waste of time / fairytale to find out more about your eternity. Cos my outlook and the things i do will really be different.

Scenario A (if i'm an atheist, there is no eternity): i'd just do things that will make me "happy". If i like this gal i'd go for her, no matter whether its the perfect match. Just as long as I AM HAPPY. When I'm not happy anymore, well, just break up and find another. I AM HAPPY. "I"

Scenario B (if i'm not an atheist, of certain religion): I might not do things that will make me happy, OR the reason I am happy changes. I am now happy when i see things "right" etc etc.

So it really depends. So I think one need to sort that out first, before one can progress further.

The next question: are you sure u'd face your Maker as who you this He / She is after you die?

I am quite sure I'd face God and nothing else on the final day. Just that I am still not prepared for it.

Yet another question: You may be starting off well, being very enthusiastic in your quest for knowledge (or living, in this context), but are you sure that enthusiasm will sustain? Will you suddenly become burnt out just before the exam and in the end you do not end well?

Are you prepared for THAT DAY? Why not? Start now!

DO YOU NEED TO WAIT TILL SECONDS BEFORE YOUR HEART ATTACK?!? OR START TO REGRET WHEN THE GRENADE ROLLS IN FRONT OF YOU?

Perhaps this post sounds weird, but i think it is very practical! Just my personal reflection of recent happenings, what God's speaking to me and the finality of things...

My nephew... so CUTE!

I can't help but post this KISS KISS POOH POOH erhm well that is really his idea of KISS.


Heh SATISFACTION

And this video. He's already learnt this new skill... so be careful if u invite him to ur birthday party, u'd have fun...

My dear feedback

RRRRRrrrrr

Ok but yeah, now im physically filling up the feedback forms in the hospital. Our dear university has downgraded itself in terms of technology. I can fully understand why they're doing this, but I just need to complain... for a while.

The feedback forms for our tutors used to be online. So we just have to gain access to the internet and then we just click click click and we're done. But ya, students being students, they always ignore what the administration tells them to do. So the feedback rate is as low as 20% in some rotations. As feedback is so important in judging the *&^^%#&*%($$ given to the hospitals, they need a high feedback rate. So to ensure that all of us do it, they've downgraded the whole system of feedback to the paper system again. so all of us have to use our pen and fill up SHEETS of feedback forms. Waste ink, waste paper, waste time. Seriously, i type faster than i write lah!

Sigh...

just some complaints....

but oh wells on the brighter note. TABLE TENNIS WOMENS SEMIFINALS SINGAPORE VS SOUTH KOREA!!!! coming up. i hope they win

Updates...

Coming to the 3rd of the 4 weeks of SIP (student internship programme) part I, at TTSH. Yes, definitely, i've learnt more about being a junior doctor than any time during my previous 4 yrs.

Yet, once again (same as for Uganda), to me, the highlight of these 4 wks is non-medical. I don't deny that being thrown into the wards acting as a house officer has been an immense change, have learnt stuff that i've never learnt before. BUT what has been greater is the spiritual growth that I've been having ever since i started to be able to go to church.

Breath-taking, amazing, awe-ful are just some words that can describe a small proportion of the whole experience. Nowadays, if i don't go church on sundays, there seems to be something missing from me. Due to work commitments, i'd go for saturday service, yet it doesnt feel the same.

Hmmm maybe i shouldn't call it spiritual growth / maturity yet. Cos true maturity is when the your life is transformed. When the character of Jesus manifests in us. So yes, i still do admit my transformation is kinda slow. But the spiritual experience is really amazing.

Sometimes i just have this chong1 dong4 to put down everything on my hands and hide in some corner and just read His word, spend time with Him and fellowshipping with others. Yet, i know, God does want me to pass my exams too. Final year le!

Many things i wanna do, yet little time.

New environment, new excitement, yet always half hearted attempts, especially at fellowshipping. I mean how is it possible to fellowship when once u reach home slightly later u'd b scrutinised and be asked for thousand and one explanations.

But yups, not complaining. cos I'm treasuring every moment that i can spend in church.

God's grace!

And was encouraged by a newfound fren at the sat svc. He's Ga. Ga says after 5 yrs, his parents are finally removing idols at home and more receptive to his faith. Even asked him to pray for his grandma. Encouraged!

One day... one day... i have faith that one day will come! :P

Hmmph just taking a short break from studying about syncope haha. Hope i dun syncope this wk.... night calls on tues & sat!!! well at least its better than JL. Calls on thurs then sat again. And compared to my HO who had like almost 3 calls within 1 wk, im really lucky haha but still....

haha but yups the best medicine post call is actually gg to church! Did tt for my prev 2 calls. Was more refreshed and more awakened!

drawing strength from the Lord! :P

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Time to give myself a hard knock...

Wake up!

KNOCK 1
I read through my previous posts. Realized how my English has deteriorated, how it has morphed to Singlish, even when i write. Fortunately there are no "General Paper" Exams in University. Given this standard of English I am having now, I will not be surprised that the tutor marking my scrip will not understand what I am writing! Sigh.

KNOCK 2
I desperately need to "wake up my idea" (yes, one of the famous army phrase. Typical Singlish.) I need to really get serious and study harder, study faster! Final Year already! Go off, television! Run away from me, computer games! Mr Sloth, roll into the sea! Mr Smarty, I need you!!!!!

KNOCK 3
Of late, my strabismus is acting up... Spending too much time in front of the computer? Wrong lens? Tired from studying? I better knock that eye back, before it rolls away. Like Master, like eye. Both are lazy.

FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!

HaaaChooooo! Quack Quack! HaaaChooooo!

Yes.
A pastor had a revelation from God, that a virus which had appeared sporadically all over the world in 1988 will return with a greater force in 2008. That virus is bird flu...

Hmmm. Well yes, over the past few years, we have had been seeing a few cases dying cos of Bird Flu.

Today, HK. First case.
Tomorrow? Nobody knows. But we have to be prepared, for another outbreak worse than SARS. Not only medically, but spiritually. For Him to protect and raise our nation. That when the flood comes, we will be able to stay on top and not be drowned.

Just keep our focus on Him.

Star Bloggers? You ought to reflect!

Hmmm, didn't really feel like blogging, but an article i read on MY paper (Singapore's only bilingual paper) made me feel really uncomfortable... It was the commentary made by Jamie Yeo on the recent NUS survey (hmph I havent heard anything about this at all before this la!) that 64% of students have intercourse at least once a week, the most preferred places were hostels and toilets. (most of the students taking part in the survey were NUS Arts students)

K yes, of course I'd be shocked over the results of the survey. And what made it worse are jamie yeo's comments on it. (n yes, this is the first time I went on Stomp to find out what this website is all about.) Read at: http://starblog.stomp.com.sg/post.php?blogid=740

Firstly, don't we see that itself as a big problem? How many of these people are married? I don't think they are. Sex in itself is a sacred event. It is God's gift to humans. Even if you do not look at it from the Christian's perspective, don't you think it is a sacred event? It is when you give yourself wholly and fully to someone you truly love and will spend your life with. It is such a personal thing between 2 persons that when any other person is involved, the essence, the feeling and the whole enjoyment even will be different, cos the word "love" isn't even in the picture. It is "lust". This is so personal that I cannot even draw an accurate analogy to it. The closest I have would be this: Would you ever ever wear a stranger's WORN underwear??? Don't think you'd wear it even if its your loved ones. Yes, it's that personal! perhaps this analogy might sound weird, but the point i'm trying to make is that how can one be so flippant over such matters? It's giving of your body to another person! So you just give it to anyone? and you give it almost every week?

Secondly, the medical point of view - yups guess you all know. Shan't speak further

Thirdly. Jamie Yeo. (and the rest of the bloggers) She should know that her views are read by many others. It's even on the newspapers. Many other youngsters out there who are still not sure of what love is. She blames the bad press, the media, propagating this message of casual sex. Then what is she doing as a star blogger? She's propagating it too! She even gives examples of her own personal experience, of sleeping with lecturer for good grades, etc. She ends off with a quote taken from the bible: "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone", trying to say that we should not and do not have to judge others, for we are all full of sin. Yes. But Jesus ended the whole story with "Go and sin no more." So indeed we are in no position to judge, but should you, ENCOURAGE people to continue in sin?

Yes, why am I so worked up over this? We have seen all the worst ever on the newspapers - Edison Chen saga etc etc etc. Since it is really nothing new. Yet, I am concerned for our society as a whole. Are we, progressing to a point of no return? The young and the educated. The meaning of presenting your body as a gift to your future spouse to show your love for him/her. You don't even need a degree to understand all these. Yet, people just don't seem to understand.

And from the Christian's point of view. Are we as a society heading towards sin so much, like the city of Sodom? Then we are heading for destruction...

Perhaps I am not good with words, dunno how i can fully put forth my thoughts, but I am really really bothered by this.

God is weeping. We are hurting Him too much. I am saddened.

What Major is Right for You??

Take this quiz at: http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=35647N

Ha did this quiz when I'm just starting to do data analysis for my project and am already put off... so yes, might have been quite biased. haha anw these are my results. Pretty accurate. haha mabbe cos i'm already in this med mindset and the questions are so predictable of the "major" they're asking of. haha but oh well, just feeling wu liao and putting off doing the data!!!!
___________________________________________________________________

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

You scored as a Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

You should strongly consider majoring in Nursing, Athletic Training, or related majors (e.g., Chiropractics, Nutrition/Dietetics, Occupational Therapy, Physical Therapy, Radiologic Technology, Rehabilitation Services, Respiratory Therapy). It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health 88% Religion/Theology 88% Visual&PerformingArts 81% HR/BusinessManagement 75% Education/Counseling 75% English/Journalism/Comm 69% Biology/Chemistry/Geology 63% Psychology/Sociology 50% French/Spanish/OtherLanguage 50% History/Anthropology/LiberalArts 50% Physics/Engineering/Computer 44% Accounting/Finance/Marketing 38% Mathematics/Statistics 31% PoliticalScience/Philosophy 31%

___________________________________________________________________

haha so yups, perhaps i should try to pull up my political science score? hmmm but i'm really not tt interested...

anw off the bathing n START data analysis!

Wahahaha 6 months!

ha tempted to wait till 5th of feb to make it a whole 6 mths. but yups since im online and dun feel like packing stuff, i'd just blog!

these 6 mths... long ride! but i can only say the most amazing thing in my life that happened is still spiritual growth! That is the most precious and valuable to me! God!

Life is so interesting! Many ups and downs - the cycle just continues. However, only God is constant and it is Him who carries me through! Even though now im still at the crossroads in some aspects of my life, I am confident and not exactly worried about what lies ahead, for I know He will lead me. I just have to obey, absolute obedience!

many have asked why did i choose the word ferret. well as you know ferret (noun) = a type of animal, but also means "an assiduous search". Set up this blog when I was still backsliding, when I was still searching for the truth. Yet, now that I have found it, it is still an endless search for God. There are new things to be learnt, there are more truths to be discovered!

hmmm well, shall think about what to write first... meanwhile, will just post mini blog notes which i write in my hp whenever i feel like it. Ha!

05 06 2007
Have not talked so much to so many people in a long while… Have not watched such an early movie for a long while… Have not experienced early morning jog on a weekday until today… I’m truly enjoying myself…Life is so much more interesting when you’re not forcing facts into you head… Maybe one should meet up with his friends during our break every year… Mundane things seem so much more precious now. And yes having the time to walk with the Lord quietly is a blessing!

07 06 2007
Used to think 1 hour is so short… Run for half an hour, after all the cooling down it’d be gone. Mug less than a chapter. Clerk maybe 2 patients. A TV serial. Dinner time plus some TV. But today, in 1 hour I’ve collected my printer, brought it home, tested, tried to get a cat to respond and when I finally arrived at the same bench at the MRT station, I looked up… Exactly 1 hour. Wow. Maybe it’s the way we do things… But yet if every hour was as stressed as this, we probably won’t have many hours left…

08 06 2007
Not sure why, but I seem to be able to connect to the more grassroots people… Probably that’s cos where I grew up. However, I really think I’m more quiet and don’t really know how to express myself. Yes the word is shy. N I do not open up easily,,, Though I look very much extroverted but in fact I’m really quite an introvert. Yup and I think I have the Singaporean syndrome… Keep quiet and more stoic, unless I’m really offended. It’s kinda weird cos on one hand I’m extro, like to do outdoor stuff but when it comes to starting conversation and knowing new friends I’m rather shy, if left on my own. I fare much better when there’s someone to company… just some random tots…

17 08 2007
Marching phenomenon at outram park NEL vs EWL. No one talks! Only footsteps in unison!

Shuttle bus to KK from Bugis. By word of mouth I got to know about it, but word of mouth I confirmed its existence – from the MRT staff. There was no sign no nothing at the bus stop, only a queue. And I joined the queue with no questions asked. Interesting how Singaporeans behave, me included ha. And the queue just kept on growing… In silence.

31 08 2007
I saw the same shirt twice worn by different persons, at different places. It says ‘I Love Life’. Sets me thinking. Guess it’s a privilege to be able to love life. How can you love life if you’re born with cerebral palsy, premature with multiple organ failure and so on. When you are hooked on machines for life or just lie ties plainly moving involuntarily with no inkling of what’s happening around you cos your brain hasn’t a chance to develop? N you get

03 11 2007
Today… I saw how unlimited maternal love seemed. She’d be a good example to be on an ad regarding the joy of motherhood. On the MRT she was carrying one infant and playing with her. When her older child showed signs of wanting attention (pulling on tt arm which was ‘entertaining’ his sibling) and tiredness, she carried her baby higher, to make space on her lap for the older child to lie on. Joy was written all over her face. Nothing seemed to daunt her. Nothing tt her children does. Entertainer of her children. Energetic! Motherly love and happiness simply exude. One word: respect.

And give it a thought - this motherly love which seems boundless - why can’t we apply this love, to people around us? Love is the only thing that knows no boundaries. And it can be done. So why not? And how much more is God’s love for us? The boundless love which God promised, is true!

18 11 2007
I actually miss the weekly tuition sessions… Actually mis my tutee. Hmm didn’t say much to him on the last session, but yup sincerely hope the best for him.

22 12 2007
What does ‘family’ mean to u? It is some place where there is love, where you are valued, where you grew up. However, it is this ‘family’ that seems so different from ‘the rest of your friends’. And we tend to neglect that fact.

They are the people most dear to you, but yet it is most difficult to talk to them about things close to heart, especially when you’re on opposite ends of the word ‘religion’. You know them too well, you know how they’re like and you know further probing will turn the tables and the door is shut. So how do you every try, how do you ever start? Especially in the Chinese culture where ur elders are always right and not to be questioned or doubted. Your credibility is zero when facing them. And they too don’t question what they’ve done, for years. Some things that seem so obvious. Yes, I only know that the human effort is limited in our trying. Only grace will change anything and everything. Grace be upon my family, I pray.

13 01 2008
Presence of God. Was overwhelmed at the Heidi Baker conference. I just know that I have to go forth and live for Him, and be a testimony of His Love! And yes, in Africa many people are poor and they know it. Yet in Singapore, many people are spiritually poor, yet they do not know it. It really saddens me for when I turn around and look at the people around me, so many of them still do not know God, still do not know the truth. It is my responsibility to go forth and show them who God is, what He does.

24 01 2008
My tutee got back his O levels. I felt really very happy for him. In fact I never knew that I could derive such satisfaction from teaching. He did not do exactly very well overall. It was his standard. However, of all his subjects, he scored highest in those 3 subjects which I taught. He got grades which I never dreamt he’d get, albeit not the best score possible. And I was really happy for him. Yet, he did poorly for those subjects which I did not teach. So yups, not sure if I could be entirely happy about it.

but yups, definitely feel a sense of satisfaction.

28 01 2008
Ha so shi bai staring at someone yet when he saw me had to look away ha. Cos he was putting on his contact lenses in the MRT! wow! so super! if it was me, I would have dropped it or shove it into the back of my eye.

hahaha same name???

it's just when u're bored... n dunno why tagboard requires u to login... n etc n etc... that when u start to google ur name and see wat the search yield. hahaha well erhm yes... try it! haha i was surprised to get such a good long list of sites haha i didnt know there were ppl having the same name as me... using 2 "n"s instead of one at the back hahahaha

well so the search yielded things like haha intel general manager, house officer in some English hospital (wow... i hope tt will be me) haha and researcher n etc etc... all like so famous hahaha with many sites.... some had the attachment "MD" or "PhD" etc etc hahaha all so smart

goodness...

will it ever be my turn? haha dunno... its tooooooooooooooooooo long ahead to think.... my sml brain cant take it hahahaha

yupz

FiNaLly back to BLoGgiNg again

再一次看黄城，
有同样的感动。
再体会那单纯，
再回味那赤心。
一切历历在目，
仿佛没离开过。
世界不停转动，
心仍逗留那刻。
它 —— 已是个烙印。。。

_________________

Have not blogged for a long time. Always couldnt really sit down and sort out my thoughts. Always needed a quiet nite when im quite awake... but it nvr happened... had many things to blog on several occasions, but it all fizzled out by the mugging and little sleep that i had...

shall try to recall and blog out several thoughts. impromptu... just wateva comes to my mind

______________________

PEOPLE

guess time is really a great filter.

The previous few weeks, i saw many different ppl in sch. It is really interesting how sometimes when u noe tt person, but u try to smile and greet em, they react as if they hav not known u at all.

Then there are those whom you dont recall knowing, smiling and waving at you. (well tink its amusing tt they hav recognised the wrong person!) Friends become strangers, and strangers becoming friends. It is sad... that people whom you once could chat with effortlessly, now become people whom u find difficult to even start a conversation. It often end up with a deafening silence, a helpless smile and a pair of fleeting eyes...

lament... seems to be the only thing tt i can do...

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MEMORIES

guess its the gemini trait... to hav a great sense of nostalgia, even after a long time...

really cherish all the memories i have... good or bad... cos they represent each n every phase of life, reminding me constantly tt i hav a varied and interesting life... that all has been exciting so far, and more excitement and challenges await.

always wanted to write down wateva i think, wateva i do, wateva ppl say... cos each on its own at each point in time, is unique. Like to take pictures. Even more, LOVE to take videos - for it is a real life representation. Always hoped i can put a video cam at the angle of my eyes, so tt i can record everything tt i c, hear, do. and also wat others are doing. den store all these memories and review them when i am free... for each memory will not present itself again. Even if u repeat the same thing with the same ppl, the feeling will just be different.

But many a times, it may because im lazy or too busy to record... end up alw regretting not putting things into video...

i wish to hold on, but i know, i hav to learn to let go......

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LOVE

Hmmm... many ppl ard me are getting attached... haha dun ask me when it's my turn, cos i really dunno. Have not met a person whom i can share my life... in my view, its "love can be just one time, and last for a lifetime" sounds familiar? too cliche? well, tink tt's my firm belief. tt's y im alw hesitant.

my tuition kid was sharing his story tt day... well other than his being a childish infatuation, there are certain things which i can learn from, cos frm wat i said to him, i began to understand the true meaning of love...

but not thinking too much about it, cos believe God will take care of it. If im supposed to be without tt special someone, so be it... not fretting, and definitely not ferreting at this point in time... i just wanna b a good doctor...

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IDEALS

like many other young teens, i've had my share of ambitions and ideals. Had been working hard towards it ever since i set em. Wateva i did in the past - be it CCAs or choice of subjects - have alw been targeted at attaining my goal. but guess for the first time in my life, this motivation and drive have gone... for im not even sure if i can last, not even sure of the steps i hav to take to attain my dream of being a paediatrician. I can alw plan steps and so on, but guess these after many yrs of pushing myself ahead, all the stress has led to me slowing down my thinking and planning. Cos theres a sense of lethargy... i know exactly the steps to take, but though the spirit is willing, the flesh is weak... i will just continue to try to pass at every stage of the MBBS, before looking forward into the future.

for the first time i really dunno where i m headed to

i just pray for His guidance.

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There You'll Be..

hmmm... am still searching... am still trying to reinforce my Faith.
God, thank you for everything...

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LIFE

life in itself is an intrinsically complex artwork. No one can comprehend, no one can predict. It is this tt makes life interesting and beautiful. It is this tt makes it so enigmatic and mysterious. It is this tt makes it so colourful and not boring.

there are no right or wrong choices in life. It all depends on how one react upon it and how one take the choices. LIfe is too short to have room for regrets, hence live it to the fullest and enjoy every single moment!

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juz some random ramblings...

need to slp le... can still write, and am not tired... but guess i need to get into bed already...

the new day is full of promises

i wish you all the best! Enjoy your day!!! each day is special!

Busy weekend... starting friday

LOL... tink this weekend has been a roller coaster ride for me! Was so busy meeting ppl tt i only slept 5 hrs for 2 consecutive days. n yupz... didnt want to blog, cos was very tired, but tot it'd b good to blog down these memorable happenings this weekend. Cos whenever i told myself i'd blog it later, i'd just conveniently forget, or be too lazy to update it haha!

FRIDAY
it was a tiring friday, as i was busy the previous nite making the present for my aunt, whose birthday was on friday (the 13th, well, it seems everything went well... not much significance though). went to sch abit blur blur, but still alert enuf to realise tt they were releasing one of the CA results! well i did ok, though not as well as everyone else... den wanted to hav a insignificant fri afternoon, until i got a call n found tt there was a clinical trial at NUH, which needed research participants. haha i wasn't interested, until my ears pricked at tt $50 reimbursement! haha so yupz went to the clinic to get 8 injections n 16 skin pricks, (allergy testing for allergic rhinitis) n yupz my wallet was fatter. haha. though the pricks itched!!!!
later went to celebrate my aunt's bday at a vegetarian restaurant... well the food was ok lah, cos every yr u eat the same thing @ e same time of the yr... not tt interesting lahz haha but it was a good get-together for the family. plus, this is the first time since my grandma fractured her leg tt she came outta the hse without her wheelchair. everything was perfect till the flaggin of the taxi. cos my grandma couldnt walk far, so we had to hail a taxi near the restaurant, but there was a bus stop w many buses n double yellow line... well u can imagine, esp when the whole road seems congested. my aunt went further up the road to hail the taxi n ask the driver pick up my grandma (n other aunts) at tt point but the driver overshot!! so he had to REVERSE... oh my... but there was a big bus n lotsa cars behind. v v dangerous. so he could only reverse like 5 m, n my grandma had to struggle the remaining 5m with her metal walking frame. the bus looked threatening, for the driver seemed rather impatient, plus the many cars ard.... precarious. yet my grandma couldnt walk any faster. heaved a sigh of relief when she finally got on the cab.

den went to buy webcam for my fren's 21st bday at sim lim. so ex!!! met up w my sec 4 frens (LHY n PSH aka SHIT haha), talked alot, bought the webcam with the usual bickering n finally settled for some ice dessert at ICE MONSTER, a taiwanese like ice cafe... really shiok! haha esp tt mixed fruit ice dessert n the watermelon+lemon+orange juice tt was in the right proportions! went home later n watched TV till 2...

Saturday
Tiring! woke up at 7. did some housework n cleaned the house... cos 2 monkeys staying over later haha. den rushed off to meet my 3 BMT frens! haha really long time did not meet em. All 3 of them are gg to university of new south wales to study medicine!!! haha n believed it was really very fortunate of them, cos i was the one who found out n brought em tog to meet, so tt at least they noe they'd hav classmates tt they already noe!!! haha spoke to em alot abt medicine, n i was also intrigued n got all excited about their study in Australia... how nice if i was gg together with em. v fun!!! hmm well, shld stop day dreaming lahz haha cos 1) really fortunate to get into nus med, n 2) i really hav no $$$ to spend (eh they were telling me it costs up to S$500,000 for their fees n living expenses there. wow!) n it was really good... reminisced the past n of cos, really nice to meet up with em... all my buddies!
den later went to celebrate UY's bday. hmmm... sometimes really get tired of such meetings, esp when it is such a pain to try to organise it... some more the organisation alw falls on my shoulders. the so called organiser this time was rather CMI lahz n i had to try salvage.... well tink is cos the person was rather unwilling to do it... everythin was rather last min, n even the buying present he turned up late. yupz but qt happy tt we bought him rather nice gifts lahz.... a choker with his name engraved, a cool sunglass (though i noe he wanted a watch, but was too sure if he still has/hasnt gotten one) n well cos of this there was abit of disagreement! oh well... still glad tt he liked his present! n bought a "mini mini" cake. loooks nice!
eh the so called organiser wanted to give a surprise last min n gave all the funny excuses n talk tt was like so duh... making it more (!!-_-) den ever, no more surprises... tink UY was more tired den happy... anw... yah had dinner @ ichiban n in total i spent $47 tt day juz for treating him dinner n present haha so ex.... really no $$ liaoz... all my sacrifice in pricking myself with 24 pricks on fri has gone down the drain... haiz

den went home feeling v v v v v v tired... mopped the floor, ate some durian n watched some TV... before gg on to meet the 2 monkeys (FCW n PJH) at kallang mrt! hmmm but on the way damn suay lorz, stepped on SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! so smeelly! ( haha later i went home n threw away the sandals, cos it was old anw... wanted to throw long ago... a convenient excuse to materialise it!) met monkey 1 FCW @ kallang mac aft his stef sun's concert n he was really exceptionally high. still can jump abt despite leg kena "KIAP" by the bus door haha
den later went over to aljunied mrt to fetch PJH, the number 2 monkey. den we 3 marched on to my hse! haha actually it was qt fun to hav em lahz... i was qt entertained too... cept was qt tired, but didnt slp well... k so i got to slp only 5+ hrs again lorz...

SUNDAY
Yay!!! we won the qualifying round of the "UNIQUELY SINGAPORE AMAZING RACE" haha. tt was y the 2 monkeys stayed over... cos they wanted to check the online clues immed n rush to it!!! haha well the 3rd monkey came over n our team, VIVA LAH VISTA, is finally complete n ready to go!!! haha the starting was abit shaky, cos the clues were given late ( n well the 3 monkeys screamed in excitement once they saw it appearing on the screen) n oso my PRINTER BROKE DOWN when we tired to print out the clues! haha luckily i hav another old printer at home lorz... haha but yupz this shaky start didnt put us down. in fact, we managed to overcome it!!
den rushed to our first destination THE BATTLE BOX @ fort canning park (ps, thanks jialin! for she was our resource person whom we contacted to help us find ans etc! haha) by taxi n haha was there too early. it starts only at 10. waited. picked the tickets n convinced the lady tt we'd b coming later for the show n den RAN. all the way to the nxt station
TRADITIONAL BUMBOAT RIDE, passing by MICA bldg etc... all the way to the tic booth along the spore river! haha den took a very refreshing n relaxing n cool ride to the esplanade, where we ran on to our next station, THE SUNTEC SUMMIT!!!
haha had a breathtaking panoramic view of the landscape n buildings of singapore atop TOWER 4 of SUNTEC CITY!!!! i love singapore!!! its so nice!!! wow everything was so fun!!! only thing was tt i forgot to bring the cam in the midst of the troublesome printing. did a whooosh there ( haha really need to thank the guide cum tic seller, cos the nxt trip was supposed to b 1 hr later but she took us up herself on the spot, so tt we didnt hav to wait haha some more give us discount though she didnt noe whether she was suppose to give haha)
den RAN again to BUGIS JUNCTION where the qualifying race ends, but we hav 2 find their booth. had a feeling it was @ the fountain. well it really is. haha glad tt we made it FIRST!!!! haha any later other grps would hav displaced us it was a close fight!!! (cos 5 min later the 2nd team appeared, plus 3rd team following close behind)
had a fulfillin (but damn fattening... i needa exercise!) lunch a-la-carte buffet at pearl river palace restaurant @ suntec city (aft abt nearly 45 min of deliberation on where to go for lunch haha the usual bickering lahz) . it was really good!!! fd was good, cept the price haha but THANK YOU CHEK WUN!!! for the treat! hahaha though it was a belated birthday treat, but nvrtheless...
made our way back to battle box... made me realise how fortunate i m... no war no nothing. only pure mugging. no torture, no sufferings of war, no famine etc.... really made me cherish wat i hav. n immense respect for those ppl who defended singapore in the WWII. really glad everything is as wat it is now... phew!!!!

yupz v v v tired.... watched tuxedo n more tv, n den decided to blog.... hmmm nearly typed for an hr liaoz... v tired... promised myself to slp early, but yupz i alw nvr keep promises to myself... haiz... hope tml will b a better day!!!

START MUGGING!!!!!

Water water water!!! haha

Wow today was really a watery day! if u're guessing its cos of the rain, well nope. in fact, for the first time after 3-4 days, there was great sun. (well as usual poor med student hav to be couped in the house to stardee, so nothing great abt tt sun) haha but something unusual happened!

it all happened when my brother took a shower in the afternoon n realised that the water flow from the tap was getting smaller n smaller. he merely complained to my mum (note... he didnt realise sth was wrong) haha it was my mum, the experienced lady who sensed something was wrong. immediately after she cooked the dinner, i was summoned to bathe! n den to start filling water into bottles. we started to boil alot of water, to fill all the containers we had for boiled water. (hey albeit the water flow getting smaller every second) then my mum started to say," let's collect water for washing n etc" haha but i argued tt drinking water was more important, so we should continue to fill drinking water.

haha den while we were still arguing n the water was trickling down the container i put there, suddenly we heard the water sounds become very loud. There was a loud gush of water into the container, no more trickling! but it was a big splash of DIRTY, BROWN WATER!!!!!!

hahaha well, i quickly closed the tap, but brown water was splattered everywhere! hahaha den later when we flushed the toilet, everything turned brown. No hahaha its not diarrhoea... its the water

guess wat happened???

wats the cause???

haha only my mum expected it. we all got a shock.... haiz the PUB shld hav sent out notice or warning tt they were gg to clean the water tanks mah.... haiz.... imagine if u're working den only return hse at nite, when u soap urself n open the tap, a rushing gush of brown water pours over u!!!! haiz n no other water supply... wat can u do???? hahahaha some more cos they washing the tank, so the water pressure very high. once u turn on the tap abit, alr like got water spurt liddat... wah the first time i opened i got a shock!

luckily now everything ok liaoz

taught me to cherish the clean water we all have... n how vulnerable we all are without clean water... imagine if it was infected with vancomycin resistant legionella n mycobacterium.... faint....

well yes... tt's telling me to go back to my BOOKS!!!!

y y y do i hav hav hav CA CA CA on on on the the the first first first day day day of sch!!!!! haiz...

all the best to me!

wahahhaha

HEyA!

erhmz guess im too lazy to blog hahahaha LONG TIME no blog liaoz.... some more not gg to properly blog now either cos watching STAR AWARDS! haiz actually realised everytime i blog it sounds negative! hahahaha

so must sound positive!!! wahhahahaha erhmz k i haven bathe.... haven studied even ONE SET OF LECTURE NOTES! chamz lah every day so slack... realised microB alr have 20 over lectures n i haven even started ONE!!!! yet still watching TV!!!! cham la really muz push myself ah

today was my grandma's baptism!!! AM HAPPY!!! (but well, mood was dampened by something, shan't mention it here... but its still 3 to 1...) but am STILL HAPPY!!! ate so much food!!!! n PRAISE THE LORD!

heee heee dunno wat else to say liaoz... cos busy glueing my eyes on the black box... eeee xu zhi an cant sing, n another ten yr awardee cant speak sense, but those Taiwan emcees who came to give away the prizes livened up the mood!

lalalalala

walk one step at a time!!!

long time no blog...

hmph... very tired... but long time no blog!!! decided not to let mould grow... so typing this as i'm watching my tv!!!! haha just reached home but must cool down before bathing wat... hahahaha just back from watching the singapore hits award!!!

Cool! got 2c lotsa stars!!! hahaha it was damn last minute, but guess it was a good impromptu experience!!!

hmmm actually got lotsa things to say... but cant really consolidate my thoughts yet, hope i can finally put em down all asap... lotsa tots... but ya noe tots r tots.... it just comes anywhere anytime, n if u cant find a suitable place to write it out it just dissolves hahahaha n depend on how u retain those things!!!

hiak hiak me very tired... haiz had earlier been a bad day.... HATE MICROBIOLOGY!!! eh immuno was better but erhmz still not good lah.... hope i really can pass.... haiz only today den i noe 30 to 40% will fail every yr in the CA one.... chamz lah i hope i dun bcome another statistic... but i really cant study any longer liaoz.... eeeeeee

anw watching tv liaoz hahahaha nxt timne blog again lahz

cya!

brother's BIRTHDAY!!! how crabby

haha today had a really tiring day. cos went home straight after sch to cook!!! birthday meal for my brother! hahahaha well n i went to buy his present n some secret recipe cakes! erps not all went well though, cos there were only quite few selections, cos lotsa ppl bought the nice nice cakes liaoz hahahaha but still ok lah bought 4 cakes!

den went home n cooked chilli crab, steamed crab, braised chicken n pork with black fungus n mushroom, n some vegetables! haha though it was hard work, it was worth it! enjoyed a delicious meal! wahahahahha erps but tell u hor... just now i almost kena scared, cos the crab aft being cut up, for about 20 min alr, n when i was ready to cook em, one of the legs MOVED!!!! hahahaha n quite vigorously... but knew it was reflex action of the crab, but tink the crab is abit cham too... but i just ate it anw lahz

k post some fotos!

first lemme show the chilli crab!


hehehehe hot n spicy chilli crab!!! red red leh















nxt, show u the cakes!!! hahahaha four in a row

will intro all these cakes one at a time!!! haha but is buy one get one free!!! hahahaha so even though is $5 per cake, i got 4 cakes for $10!!! hahahaha so wu hua hiak hiak hiak.... but not as nice as wat i ate in KL hahahaha kekeke

first from the left: this is the chocolate cheesecake!!! hahaha really delicious full of chocolate n got chocolate chip! all my fave!!! hahahaha i like this one best!!!

2nd frm L: Americano cheesecake!!! ahhahaha this one not at nice, but choc on traditional cheesecake still worth a try!!!!

Lulalalala hahaha lemme introduce u 2 more cakes lah hahahahaha. there's the blueberry cheesecake! haha bie you yi ban feng wei ne!!! cept didnt really like the cream. hahahaha den there's the strawberry cheesecake!!! the strawberry is smooth n soury n creamy hahahahaha love cheesecakes!

ahahahahha lemme now intro u to the one n only half boiled egg tt my mama made... pls look carefully... its actually overcooked half boiled egg, but its so unique!!! cos the outside is solid n i peeled it off like i'd do in a hard boiled egg but the inside is still abit liquid!!! hahahaha new creation n a new realm of cooking hahaha... k this was my breakfast on wednesday...






n haha took this during my own celebration of MAF this yr la hahahaha looks qt nice horz.

may the fire of Love n Faith burn in us forever!!!!

:-P













Last but not least, how can i ever forget my dear dear hamster xiao bai??? so cute n innocent n plopping down hahahaha well guess its the latest edition of hamster in my hse... wateva...

CA coming in 2 more weeks... aargh!!! y m i still so slack???

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I know not how long the peace will prevail, but I know i'm still so impoverished in my Faith....

I know not what the future holds, but I know there will be a future...

I know not, what this shell is doing... but I know the person must take over, not the shell...

I know not...

But i hope i knew...